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    I See Purple Triangles And Rainbows In Your Future

    , | California, USA |

    (A boy and his mother come up to my register. The boy starts asking questions about the ant farm we have on display.)

    Boy: “Can they mate?”

    Me: “No, there’s no queen in there.”

    Boy: “Oh… so they can’t mate?”

    Me: “No, they’re all male.”

    Boy: “So they can’t?”

    Mother: *turns to boy* “Okay, shut up or go away! You’re being annoying!”

    A Little Thing Called Responsibility

    , | Video Game Store |

    (I walked into a game store and there was a violent car jacking on the local news where a poor couple had been killed. The only person behind the counter is a good friend of mine and an middle-aged woman walks in.)

    Woman: “I can’t believe today’s violence. I blame that, the violent media.”

    Me: “Yeah, people are a little crazy these days.”

    Woman: *to my friend* “Can I have that Call of Duty 4 there, please?”

    My Friend: “Um, who are you buying this for? It’s a little survey the store is doing…”

    Woman: “Oh, of course! It’s for my 13-year-old son. ”

    (As soon as she left, my friend and I busted out laughing.)

    More Frisky Than Frail

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA |

    (A man of at least 80 years of age came up to my checkout lane. Here’s what happened as I was bagging his last item.)

    Me: “Man, I just don’t think this is gonna fit in here.”

    Customer, completely straight-faced: “That’s what she said.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer, still straight-faced: “That’s what she said.”

    (Needless to say, I nearly died of laughter. If there were only more grandfathers like that out there.)

    Some Questions Should Never Be Asked, Part 2

    , | Riverhead, NY, USA |

    (A customer approaches one of my cashiers holding two children’s t-shirts with identical logos one boys and one girls. We were having a liquidation sale and all boys’ clothing was 40% off while girls’ clothing was 50% off.)

    Customer: “What’s the discount on these?”

    Cashier: “One is 40% off and the other is 50% off.”

    Customer: “Why are they different?”

    Cashier: “One is girls and one is boys.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand… what’s the difference between girls and boys?”

    Cashier: *without even skipping a beat* “Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.”

    (Cue the entire checkout line laughing.)

    Related:
    Some Questions Should Never Be Asked

    I Personally Prefer Poultry With My PCs

    | Champaign, IL, USA |

    (I overheard a fellow salesperson’s sale. He was with a customer but another customer interrupts.)

    Customer: “I want to make you offer on this laptop. I give you $650.”

    Coworker: “Sorry, sir, the price is $749.”

    Customer: *looks at his wife and nods* “I give you $650 plus 3 chicken!”

    Coworker: *fighting back a smile* “Sorry, the price is $749.”

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