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    Some Questions Should Never Be Asked, Part 2

    , | Riverhead, NY, USA |

    (A customer approaches one of my cashiers holding two children’s t-shirts with identical logos one boys and one girls. We were having a liquidation sale and all boys’ clothing was 40% off while girls’ clothing was 50% off.)

    Customer: “What’s the discount on these?”

    Cashier: “One is 40% off and the other is 50% off.”

    Customer: “Why are they different?”

    Cashier: “One is girls and one is boys.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand… what’s the difference between girls and boys?”

    Cashier: *without even skipping a beat* “Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.”

    (Cue the entire checkout line laughing.)

    Related:
    Some Questions Should Never Be Asked

    I Personally Prefer Poultry With My PCs

    | Champaign, IL, USA |

    (I overheard a fellow salesperson’s sale. He was with a customer but another customer interrupts.)

    Customer: “I want to make you offer on this laptop. I give you $650.”

    Coworker: “Sorry, sir, the price is $749.”

    Customer: *looks at his wife and nods* “I give you $650 plus 3 chicken!”

    Coworker: *fighting back a smile* “Sorry, the price is $749.”

    Some Questions Should Never Be Asked

    , | Chico, CA, USA |

    Me: “Costume Design & Rental, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, do you guys have any costumes?”

    Me: “Yes, we have a 5,000 square foot warehouse.”

    Caller: “And do you rent them?”

    Me: “Yes, we do.”

    Caller: “How much is it?”

    Me: “It depends on what kind of costume are you looking for.”

    Caller: “I don’t know… can’t you just tell me how much it is?”

    Me: “Not without knowing what you want, no.”

    Caller: “Fine, whatever.” *click*

    (10 minutes later, they call back.)

    Me: “Costume Design & Rental, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Do you have any giant penis costumes?”

    Me: “… uh, no. I don’t think we do.”

    Caller: “Darn.” *click*

    They Should Also Slice, Dice And Julienne Fries

    , | Davis, CA, USA | Top

    Customer: “I am looking for some heels, in white. They also have to be dressy, like for a wedding…”

    Me: “No problem… we have some over here.”

    Customer: “But I need to be able to hike in them because it’s outdoors.”

    Me: “Uhh, maybe if we looked over here…”

    Customer: “It also has be open, kind of like a sandal.”

    Me: “We have some nice hiking sandals…”

    Customer: “But it has to be waterproof because it rains a lot where we are and I need something to keep the water out.”

    Me: “This might be difficult.”

    Customer: “Oh! And it has to be super comfortable, with excellent arch support.”

    Me: “We’re kind of limited here…”

    Customer: “And no backstraps, because I have plantar fasciitis and backstraps will just hurt all day.”

    Me: “So you are looking for a white pair of waterproof hiking sandals with no backstrap, but with heels and excellent arch support?”

    Customer: “You forgot comfortable.”

    Me: “I am sorry, could you repeat that?”

    Customer: “I said I needed them to be super comfortable.”

    Me: “And you’re serious? Have you ever seen shoes like this anywhere else?”

    Customer: “Well, I would think that’s your job.”

    Me: “I thought so too, but then again I am not a magician.”

    Customer: “That is very offensive! I demand to speak to your manager!”

    (Naturally, the manager was called, who promptly proceeded to laugh her out of the store.)

    Sorry I Asked

    | Gorham, ME, USA | Top

    (I notice an older woman and her twenty-something long-haired son struggling to find a certain brush in our hair care aisle.)

    Me: “Can I help you with anything?”

    Mother: “Help me? Help ME? The only way you could help me is to make my Fabio son over here stop dating thirteen year old girls!”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

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