Delicious Deals

| Melbourne, Australia | Uncategorized

Me: “Would you like this gift wrapped?”

Customer: “Yes I would.”

Me: “OK – here’s your receipt. Just head to the back of the store in about 5 min–”

(The customer eats the receipt.)

Me: “Oh…um, you actually need that to collect your purchase from gift wrap…”

(The customer spits the receipt onto the counter.)

Customer: “It didn’t taste very good anyway.”

The Child May Get A Himself Complex

| Eugene, OR, USA | Uncategorized

(I was working at the registers as a lady walked in with a child in a stroller. One of the other employees walked up to her.)

Employee: “Aw, what a cute baby. What’s his name?”

Customer: “God.”

Employee: “You named the kid after God?”

Customer: “No, I named him God.”

The Force Is Strong In This One

, | Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hello, I would like to return this item.”

Me: “Ok, what was the problem?”

Customer: “I just don’t need it anymore.”

Me: “Ok, do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “Yes, here it is.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t return this. It’s from six months ago.”

Customer: “Yes you can…” *waves hands in the air*

Me: “I’m sorry, no I can’t. I would get in a lot of trouble.”

Customer: “No you won’t…” *waves hands in the air again*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m not going to do that.”

Customer: *turns and leaves*

Me, to coworker: “Did I just get Jedi mind-tricked?”

The People Of England Wholeheartedly Agree

, | Erie, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “How do you change the language setting on The Sims?”

Me: “Well, I’d imagine there’s something in the game’s options. What did you need to set it to?”

Customer: “English.”

Me: “Funny, I’d think that would be the default.”

Customer: “But I can’t understand them!”

Me: “Wait, you mean the Sims themselves?”

Customer: “Yes! They’re speaking French!”

Me: “No, they’re speaking Simlish. It’s a gibberish language.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, it sounds like French!”

Octomom, The Early Years

| St. Thomas, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(A middle-aged woman who doesn’t look too well comes up to my checkout.)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

Customer: “I think I’m in labour.”

Me: “Oh! Shouldn’t you be in the hospital?” *starts scanning her items*

Customer: “Nah, this is my third one. I won’t go to the hospital until I know it’s coming out.”

Me: “Oh. Um… all right.”

(I finish ringing her up and hand her her bags.)

Customer: “Yeah, it doesn’t hurt or anything. After the first one, you don’t really notice!” *takes her things and leaves*

Page 370/468First...368369370371372...Last