For Everything Else, There’s TasterCard

, | United Kingdom | Top

Me: “That’s ¬£26.50, please.”

Customer: “Can I pay by card?”

Me: “Sure. Please enter your card into the machine, and then put in your pin code.”

Customer: “Right, are these machines waterproof?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Customer: “I wouldn’t get an electric shock from one, would I?”

Me: “Err, no?”

(Suddenly, the customer bends his head down and uses his mouth to cover up the keys. He then uses his tongue to try and push down the numbers of his pin code.)

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to stop! That’s incredibly unhygenic.”

Customer: “But it’s the only way to keep it safe!”

Me: “Have you considered covering the keys with your hand instead of your mouth?”

Customer: “Yes, but it’s not as safe!”

Me: “I’m afraid we’re just going to have to risk that. We can’t have you licking our machines.”

Customer: “Bah!”

Now With Smarch And Gebruary!

| Massachusetts, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you have any calendars?”

Me: “Yes, they’re right behind you.”

Customer: *looks at several calendars* “This says 16 months. What does that mean?”

Me: “Well, it has the last four months of 2008, and then all of 2009.”

Customer: “But there are only 12 months in a year.”

Me: “I know. It has a whole year on it and then part of the previous year.”

Customer: “So what are the extra months again?”

The Logic Is Weak In This One, Part 2

, | New Jersey, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m ringing up a fairly high-end video card for a customer.)

Me: “That’ll be $211.98 please…”

Customer: “But the display showed it as $49.99.”

Me: “Are you sure it was this card? This is a fairly new card.”

Customer: “Yes, I picked it up, and it says the price is $49.99 below it.”

Me: “Can you show me?”

(We walk over to the video cards, and he shows me where he picked it up from. The shelf is marked $49.99, and it is the same manufacturer. However, it is a lower end card than the one he is holding.)

Customer: “See, $49.99!”

Me: “Sir, that price is not for that video card. You’re holding this one…”

(I point to another shelf with the video card he picked up; it’s priced at $199.99.)

Customer: “Well, it was on this shelf, so it was advertised at this price and you have to sell it to me for that.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, sir, but sometimes customers pick things up and then don’t return them to their proper location.”

Customer: “That’s not my fault! It was on this shelf, so you should sell it to me for $49.99.”

Me: “Sir, how do I know it wasn’t you who put it on that shelf? Or for that matter, that it was on that shelf at all?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “So, do you want the $49.99 one instead?”

Customer: *defeated* “Yeah…”

Related:
The Logic Is Weak In This One

Thanks For Shopping At Quadruped, Inc.

| Springfield, MO, USA | Uncategorized

(I witnessed this interaction between a girl and her dad.)

Dad: “Are you as picky about your toilet paper as your ex-step mom was?”

Girl: “No, not really.”

Dad: “OK, grab one of those then.”

(The girl reaches for a pack that’s on its side.)

Dad: “No, no, not that one. I want one that hasn’t been touched by human hands!”

Girl: “Are you saying the store employees aren’t human?”

Dad: “Well, you’ve seen them…you be the judge.”

(I had to walk off so they wouldn’t hear me laughing.)

From Sprinting In Stilettos To Shin Splints & Sprains

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for high-heeled running shoes.”

Me: “Um…we don’t make high-heeled running shoes.”

Customer: “That’s impossible! I bought some here last year!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve been working here for 2 years, and I can assure you that we have never carried high-heeled running shoes.”

Customer: “Well, where can I find some?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure those don’t exist. Heels would defeat the purpose of a running shoe.”

Customer: “Fine! I’m not shopping here ever again!” *storms out*

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

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