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  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
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    DualShock Depreciation

    , | Washington, USA |

    (This is during Christmas time 2001 and a lot of people came in for stocking stuffers and such. I’m stocking some generic potato chips and an old woman approaches me. Keep in mind, this is a DOLLAR STORE.)

    Old Woman: “Excuse me…”

    Me: “Hello, may I help you find something?”

    Old Woman: “Yes, do you folks have Playstation 2s?”

    Me: “Uh… no, ma’am. I’m sorry, we don’t.”

    Old Woman: “Oh, well, they were out of ‘em at [chain electronics store], so I thought you folks might have ‘em.”

    Me: “Well, we carry mostly overstock. Besides, PlayStation 2′s are worth far more than just one dollar so I’m pretty sure we’ll never carry them…”

    Old Woman: “What about after Christmas?”

    Me: “Yeah, I don’t think so.”

    Personally, I Prefer Pokey ‘Pods

    , | Sacramento, CA, USA |

    (Working in a popular electronics store set in between an extremely rural area and a sprawling urban landscape, we get all types…)

    Customer:“Y’all got dem thirty two jiggabit touchee pods?”

    Singleminded Surcharge

    | Madison, WI, USA |

    (I work in an electrical department. At this time, a woman is looking at a light display.)

    Me: “Are you finding everything alright?”

    Customer: “Yes. Where is this?”

    (I lead her to the box, on an end cap. It’s a two-fixtures-for-the-price-of-one thing.)

    Customer: “Oh, there’s two in there…”

    Me: “Yes. But the price is the same as on the display, so you get an extra for spare parts or whatever.”

    Customer: “Well, I only want one!”

    Me: “You can always just sell the spare on a garage sale or something. Or if you’re like me, you might break the glass someday and so you’ll have a spare.”

    Customer: “I only want one!”

    Me: “…”

    (The customer proceeded to pick out a nearly-identical looking fixture that was about three times the price–all because she only wanted one.)

    Living On The Edge, Part 2

    , , | Philadelphia, PA, USA |

    Me: “Thanks for your purchase. Would you please sign anywhere on the receipt?”

    Customer:¬†”Anywhere?”

    Me: “Anywhere.”

    Customer: “But there’s no line!”

    Me: “That’s right–the printer doesn’t draw a line for this type of receipt, so just sign anywhere on the receipt.”

    Customer: “Anywhere?”

    Me: “Anywhere.”

    Customer: “But there’s no LINE!”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Related:
    Living On The Edge

    How About A Coupon For A Free Psych Evaluation

    | Montana, USA |

    Me: “Ma’am, with this order, you received a free coupon for Cover Girl Cosmetics.”

    Customer: “What, do you think I need it?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “That’s very rude, telling someone they need makeup!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not suggesting you need makeup.¬†I’m just offering it to you because the computer printed it out.”

    Customer: “Oh, what, now the computer thinks I need makeup?”

    Me: “No, ma’am… it prints out coupons for random items.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t need it any coupons from you, so there!” *storms off*

    Me: *rubbing my temples* “Have a good day, ma’am.”

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