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    Bull In A China Shop

    , | Dubai, UAE | Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Back story: our local government has banned Grand Theft Auto 4, but this was never publicly announced. I put up a sign that said in big letters “GTA IV IS BANNED AND IS NOT AVAILABLE FOR SALE”.)

    Me: “Good evening, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I wanna buy Grand Theft Auto 4.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that game is unavailable as it is banned in Dubai.”

    Customer: “So… how much?”

    Me: “It’s banned. You can’t buy it in the country.”

    Customer: “Ahh, wait, I see the sign. Sorry, I didn’t notice it before…”

    (He spends several minutes studying the sign intently.)

    Customer: “Can you reserve a copy for me or what?”

    Me: “Sir, you cannot buy it. If I even had a copy and sold it to you, it would be illegal… do you understand?”

    Customer: “So, I can’t buy it?”

    Me: “That’s correct.”

    Customer: “Well, I think you’re keeping it for yourself!”

    Another Customer: “Hey why don’t you just leave? The guy said you can’t buy one and the huge sign explains why you can’t.”

    Customer: “Look f**ker! I just want the game so give it to me before I seriously hurt you!”

    Me: “Just piss off, alright? I don’t have it and I wouldn’t sell it to a prick like you anyway. Now get out of my shop!”

    (The other customers in line applaud and cheer.)

    Customer: “Well gee, sorry… you don’t have to be so rude!” *walks out*

    (My blood pressure is just returning to normal when the original customer suddenly runs in COMPLETELY NAKED. Before we can react he grabs a Guitar Hero 3 guitar that is on display and proceeds to HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH IT. My customers in line jump him and we eventually subdue him. We call the police and he was never seen again. I lost 1000 dollars worth (about 3000 dirhams, our local currency) in broken merchandise.)

    Ouch … Sorry, Fido

    , | California |

    Customer: “Are there any thrift stores around here that support cancer research?”

    Clerk: “No, I think the only ones in town support the humane society.”

    Customer: “Oh, we have asthma. We don’t want to support that.”

    Clerk: “…”

    No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

    , | United Kingdom | Top

    (Note: I didn’t even work at this place. I was just looking at the games with my dad but I figured I’d help this lady out.)

    Customer: “Hi, my son wants a Star Wars game. How much will that be?”

    Me: “Well, there are lots of Star Wars games, because some are older than others. The older ones are more likely to be cheaper… sometimes the console changes the price as well.”

    Customer: “Console?”

    Me: “The thing you play it on.”

    Customer: “Oh he’s got a Gamestation.”

    Me: “Do you mean a Playstation or a Gamecube?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, it’s black.”

    Me: “Is it cube shaped?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Right so, it’s a Playstation 2. Did your son say which type of Star Wars game he wanted, or even the name?”

    Customer: “No he just said Star Wars. A shooting one, I think.”

    Me:Most of them are shooting games…”

    Customer: “Well, this is the one with the laser guns in it and the laser swords.”

    Me: *cringing* “Laser guns and laser swords are what Star Wars is famous for.”

    (My dad, who is behind me, starts laughing.)

    Customer: “I’m not some Star Wars computer genius you know! This is only the 21st century. I don’t even know why you work here if you don’t know what I should buy!”

    Me: “I don’t actually work here.”

    Customer: “Well, why are you wearing the employee t-shirt?!”

    (She points towards my Children of Bodom t-shirt.)

    Me: “Good point, go and speak to my boss if you are unhappy about me working here.”

    Customer: “I will, and you might get fired, so watch-out!”

    Fine, We’ll Just Shout And Yell

    , | Dallas, TX, USA | Top

    Customer: “I think it’s very rude for you to talk on your cellphone while you’re at work.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, this isn’t a cellphone; it’s a headset. We use them to communicate with the other employees.”

    Customer: “That’s VERY rude.”

    How About ‘W’ For I Dunno WTF I’m Doing

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA |

    (I greeted a customer in the ‘C’ section of the CD department.)

    Me: “Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m trying to find a Red Hot Chili Peppers CD.”

    Me: “Well, that would be under ‘R’. I’ll show you.”

    Customer: “Oh. I was going to check under ‘H’ next.”

    Me: “…”

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