Deception School Drop-Out

| New York, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Your total is $42.98.”

Customer: “Wait, that can’t be right. Those pillows are on sale.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We just got these pillows in today. They won’t be on sale for at least a few more weeks.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! They say they’re on sale! You have to give me the sale price.”

Me: “Well, I’ll double-check for you, but I already sold a few others today and no one else paid a sale price for them.”

Customer: “Are you calling me a liar? Because I already checked! They all say they’re on sale!”

(She points to the price tags on the pillows that have been haphazardly covered up by sale stickers.)

Me: “Yes, and those sale stickers also say that these pillows are napkins.”

Related:
Fact Check Fail
Fibbing Fail
Cheapskates: FAIL
Guilt Trip: FAIL
Impersonating Your Boss: FAIL

No More Teddy In Beddy

, | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, what brings you into [toy store]?”

Customer: “Just looking around… all of my grandkids are too old for stuffed animals.”

Me: “There are a lot of adults who come in who collect them.”

Customer: “I saw a lot of college kids in here over the summer getting them.”

Me: “Actually, I have a stuffed animal that I sleep with every night.”

Customer: “You know what you need to do… you need to get yourself a man!”

They’re Starting To Catch On

| Adelaide, Australia | Top

Customer: “I thought I should let you guys know your phone isn’t working.”

Me: “OK – are you sure you’ve been dialing the correct number?”

Customer: “Yes, I’ve been trying 0800-2100 all week, and it never goes through.”

Me: “…0800-2100? That’s not our number – our number is ****. If you don’t mind me asking, where did you get 0800-2100 from?”

Customer: “Right there, on your door.” *points*

Me: “Sir, that’s not a phone number…those are our business hours.”

Customer: “I’m going to see this on NotAlwaysRight.com, aren’t I?”

Me: “Yes… yes you will. Have a nice day!”

Continental Confusion

| South Burlington, VT, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Why are these shoes made in Chile?”

Me: “Well, I would assume that Chile is where the factory is located.”

Customer: “But WHY? Where is Chile anyways?”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure why, but Chile is located in South America.”

Customer: “South America? Like down by Alabama?”

Me: *facepalm*

Bipartisan Barware

| Rhode Island, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “You used to carry those drinking glasses that are shaped like soda pop bottles. ¬†Do you still have them?”

Me: “I believe so. Let me check with that department.”

Associate, over walkie talkie: “Yes, we do have some. They’re in the barware section.”

Me, to customer: “Ok, ma’am, we do have some–”

Customer: “No, I was just back there, and you only have the really big ones and the ones that are too small. ¬†You used to have the medium-sized ones that are just right. ¬†I told the boy back there that I needed the medium-sized ones.”

Me: “So… you already spoke to the department associate?”

Customer: “Yes, and he said that you don’t have them anymore. But I know that you do, because I saw Hillary Clinton drinking from one of them on the debates last night!”

Me, to the associate: “Are we out of stock on those glasses, or are they discontinued?”

Associate: “Discontinued. ¬†I already spoke to someone about these glasses…”

Me, to customer: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it looks like we’re not going to be carrying that particular size anymore–

Customer: “That’s bulls***! He’s lying!”

Me: “Umm, excuse me?”

Customer: “He’s lying! ¬†I saw Hillary Clinton drinking out of one of these g**d*** glasses last night on the debate! And you’re trying to tell me that they don’t make them anymore?! ¬†I don’t think so. ¬†Why are you all lying?! ¬†If Hillary Clinton can drink out of one of these glasses, then they obviously are still making them!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not saying that they’re not being made anymore. ¬†I’m saying that we’re no longer carrying that particular size in our store, that’s all.”

Customer: “Lies!¬†I bet if Hillary Clinton came in here and asked for those glasses, you people would get off your a**es and check the back room for her!”

Me: “Have a nice night, ma’am.”

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