On Second Thought, Mom’s Probably Been Hitting Her Head Too

, | Amarillo, TX, USA | Uncategorized

(A woman with a newborn baby walks into the store looking a little disoriented and heads towards the baby swings.)

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, my child keeps falling out of the swing and hitting her head. Why is that?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, your swing must be defective. Your baby shouldn’t be able to fall out if she’s buckled in and the tray is secured.”

Customer: “You mean I have to put the tray on?!”

Stop, Drop & Service The Customer

| Bournemouth, UK | Uncategorized

(The fire alarm began to go off, and an old woman came up to my counter.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store, there appears to be a fire upstairs.”

Customer: “But I want to buy these shoes…”

Me: “If the fire is contained then you can come back in and buy them later.”

Customer: “Can you check if you have them in my size?”

Me: “That’s where the fire is – can you please leave the building now? It’s dangerous to be in here!”

Customer: “This is ridiculous, all I want you to do is check if you have it in my size!”

Me: “So let me get this straight: you want me to go upstairs into a burning part of the building, to see if we have some shoes in your size, which are probably currently on fire?”

Customer: “Is that so much to ask?”

Me: “Get out.”

Rage Against The Earless Machine

, | Hilliard, OH, USA | Uncategorized

(I overheard this conversation between a self checkout machine and a customer.)

Self checkout machine: “Please take your items.”


Some-Bunny Was Cranky Today…

| Santa Barbara, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “All right, you’re all set! Here are your bags, and have a good weekend!”

Customer: “Thank you.”

Me: “And Happy Easter!”

Customer: “What was that?”

Me: “Happy Easter?”

Customer: “That could be offensive.”

Me: “I’m…sorry?”

Customer: “You know, some people don’t celebrate Easter. It’s offensive and rude of you to assume that.”

Me: “I…I’m sorry. I guess I did assume, because you were buying plastic eggs and basket grass.”

Customer: “You see? You’re assuming.”

Me: “Would you like me to un-wish you a happy Easter?”

Customer: “And there you go with the f***ing rude attitude! I celebrate Easter! I just think you need to not be so assuming!”

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: *leaving* “Ignorant little f***s…”

Give Me Good Ol’ Inefficiency Any Day

| Utah, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m one of the fastest cashiers and often receive positive feedback from customers.)

Me: “… and your total is $***.**.”

Customer: “Wait, that can’t be right. I added it up. It should be less than that! You need to change something!”

Me: “Alright, sir, but it will take me a minute to bring your transaction back up. Your receipt is already printed.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? This is ridiculous! This is your fault–you rang me up too flippin’ fast! I’m sick of these stores and their flippin’ fast cashiers!” *takes receipt and storms away*

Next customer: “Did that guy seriously just yell at you for being fast?!”

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