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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Never-Fail Conversation Starters

    | Brisbane, Australia | Uncategorized

    Me: “Can I help you with anything today?”

    Customer: “How old are you?”

    Me: “Um…I’m 17.”

    Customer: “No, you’re not!”

    Me: “Yes, I am.”

    Customer: “No, no! You’re 4.6 billion years old! You’re older than me, and you’re older than your parents. Jesus is inside you!”

    Me: “Er…can I help you with anything else?”

    Customer: “Oh, can I borrow a pen?”

    I’m Too Sexy For My Kitchen

    | Hurst, TX, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer brings me the bowl from a salad spinner set.)

    Customer: “How much is this hat?”

    Me: “Ma’am, that goes to a salad set. It’s not a hat.”

    (She doesn’t understand, so I tell her I’ll find the price. I come back with the whole set.)

    Me: “You see ma’am, this is used to dry salad after you wash it. You turn the handle and–”

    Customer: “I only want the hat, not the box and the hat!” *walks off*

    I Find Your Lack Of T-shirts Disturbing

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

    (Note: I’m selling t-shirts at Comic Con in San Diego. Two men are dressed as Star Wars characters come to my booth.)

    Jedi #1: “Man, these shirts are all great. I don’t know how I’ll pick.”

    Coworker: “Well, they are two for $35, so you can get any two you like.”

    Jedi #2: “Is there any deal for three?”

    Coworker: “Nope, just by twos.”

    (Suddenly, the second Jedi activates his light-up light saber and speaks in an angry, menacing tone.)

    Jedi #2: “How about now?!”

    Looking Forward To Backward Logic

    | Missouri, USA | Top

    Customer: “I’m here to return this shirt. I’m not satisfied with it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Could you explain what’s wrong with it?”

    Customer: “The writing on it is all backward.”

    (She pulls the shirt from her bag, but the lettering looks fine.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m looking at it right now, and this shirt is definitely not backward.”

    Customer: “No, I went home and tried it on, and it was backward!”

    Me: “Were you looking in a mirror?”

    Customer: “Yes, but it should still read from right to left!”

    A Man Of Many Faces, All Of Them Dumb

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Top

    (I had lost my entire wallet just a week prior. A customer approaches my check stand. He has an 18-pack of beer on the belt, and he looks about 20 years old.)

    Me: *ringing him up* “ID, please.”

    Customer: “You got it!”

    (The customer pulls out a wallet that looks exactly like mine, broken chain and all. He then proceeds to show me my own ID.)

    Me: *taking my wallet back from him* “Two problems with this.”

    Customer: “What the h***, man?!”

    Me: “First off, this is MY ID; MY wallet. Secondly, I’m not 21, and neither is this thing.”

    Customer: *runs out of the store*

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