Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (2,986 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Well Whadya Know, It’s Working Now

    | Peoria, IL, USA |

    Me: “Thanks for calling ***, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “My phone service isn’t working.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll see what I can do. What wireless company do you have?”

    Customer: “I don’t have wireless.”

    Me: “… I’m not sure I’m following you, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What’s not to follow? I said my PHONES AREN’T WORKING!”

    Me: “Okay, but in order to assist you, I need to know what service you have.”

    Customer: “AT&T.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t contract AT&T wireless in the store.”

    Customer: “Look, lady, it’s not WIRELESS. My HOME PHONES aren’t working, and I can’t get a hold of my son and I’m worried. The service has been on the fritz all day. I need you to FIX IT!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I can’t fix your home phone service. You’ll have to call your provider.”

    Customer: “What are you, stupid? I bought the phone from you!”

    (She probably had bought the telephone through us, because we sell some made by/for AT&T. But we don’t do the service at all.)

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t do the service. We are just the phone retailer. Is there something wrong with the phone itself?”

    Customer: “NO. It works fine, but I can’t actually CALL anywhere. Now, I need this FIXED. I’ve been without a phone all day, every phone in the house is messed up, and I can’t call my SON. I don’t have a phone at ALL! Do you understand?”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I do, but like I said, we have nothing to do with your service. We just sell the PHONES. You have to call AT&T to see what’s wrong with your service.”

    Customer: “And just how am I supposed to do that, smarty-pants? I DON’T have a PHONE that WORKS!”

    Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, how did you call US?”

    Customer: “B*tch.” *click*

    Let’s All Just Randomly Grab Crap

    | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    (I’m ringing up a customer’s items.)

    Customer: “That’s wrong. That’s on sale.”

    Me: “Well, the system is usually correct, and I don’t believe it is, but I can have someone check.”

    (After the area is checked, we find that I am correct.)

    Me: “The sign back there says the clearance EXCLUDES your item.”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t.”

    Me: “Ma’am I just had an associate check for you to ensure that the item is not on sale.”

    Customer: “Yes it is! You are just a dumb cashier! Where is your supervisor?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the supervisor. I’m sorry, but the sign clearly says in large red letters that your item is excluded from the sale.”

    Customer: “Well, I shouldnt have to pay attention! I saw clearance so I just grabbed something. I should get it cheaper because of it!”

    Your Prank Got Spanked

    | Denver, CO, USA | Top

    (This happened to a friend of mine who owns a gun shop.)

    Friend: “Hello, this is–”

    Caller: *twelve year old sounding voice* “Your mom!”

    Friend: “What?”

    Caller: “What your mom said.”

    Friend: “A prank caller are we?”

    Caller: *mocking tone* “A prank caller are we?”

    Friend: “Do your parents know what you’re doing? Because I have caller ID and I can call them back later.”

    Caller: “My parents are out of town… duuuhhh!”

    Friend: “You must have absolutely no idea what kind of store you just called, then.”

    Caller: “A GAY store?”

    (My friend puts the phone down and opens the locker behind the counter and retrieves a shotgun. He holds it next to the phone and pumps the action.)

    Friend: “Can you guess now?”

    Caller: “…”

    Friend: “You know, your caller ID gave me a first and last name. All I need to do is open a phone book and I can find your address.”

    Caller: *click*

    Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman With Fake Stones

    | Denver, CO, USA |

    (A woman comes up to the counter with a tennis bracelet.)

    Customer: “I’d like to have this professionally cleaned, please.”

    Me: “We’d be happy to do that for you. Can you give me the value so that we can put that on the form for insurance?”

    Customer: “Of course. It’s worth $15,000.”

    Me: “Ma’am, for such a high value, I’ll need to verify that these are actually diamonds.”

    Customer: “Of course they’re real diamonds! My husband gave that to me for our anniversary, and said it was diamonds!”

    (I go and get our diamond tester from the back.¬†If the stones are diamonds, the machine will beep.¬†I test the bracelet in front of her. It doesn’t beep.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but these are more than likely cubic zirconia, and the highest value I could insure this bracelet for is $2,000.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe you! Your machine must be broken!”

    (I reach into the display case, and pull out a diamond ring. I silently test multiple stones, and the machine beeps as it should.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s functioning properly. We’ll be happy to send your bracelet out for cleaning, but will only be able to insure it for $2,000.”

    (The woman’s face at this point is so contorted with rage she looks like she’s going to pop. She snatches the bracelet up and runs out of the store.)

    Manager: “I’d like to be a fly on the wall, when he gets home!”

    Grog Carry Bag, Grog Not Fashion Consultant

    | Houston, TX, USA | Top

    Customer: “What do you think about this bra?”

    Customer’s husband: “Umm… sure.”

    Customer: “Okay, should I get this one in white or black?”

    Customer’s husband: “I don’t know! I don’t wear them, I just take them off of you!”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

    Page 361/413First...359360361362363...Last