October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

With Great Retail Power…

| Staten Island, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it seems like your credit card isn’t working. Would you like to pay in cash?”

Customer: ‘What? That’s not possible. Try it again.”

Me: *after trying a few more times* “Do you have a different card? This one might just be having problems. Or you could just pay in cash?”

Customer: “No! I don’t have cash. Just give me the items.”

Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am.”

Customer: “Why not? I need them to stop the world from ending!”

Me: “Sorry, I still can’t.”

Customer: “What sort of a monster are you? If the world ends, you’re to blame!” *storms out*

Part-Time Customer, Full-Time Cavity Crusader

| New Zealand | Uncategorized

(I’m restocking the confectionery section and have a trolley almost overloaded with boxes of candy and sweets.)

Customer: *gasping* “Young man! How dare you! What’s your parents’ names and number? I’m going to call them and tell them you’re buying so many sweets!”

(I point to my name badge.)

Me: “I work here. I’m just restocking the shelves.”

Customer: “Well…they shouldn’t have someone like you doing that then!”

Let The Flamewars Commence

| Stockton, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to buy a PS3.”

Me: “That’s great. Which one would you like?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, I have an 80GB and a 160GB available.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “One has twice the memory of the other.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “One system can store two times the amount of data as the other.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “The 160GB system can hold twice the amount of songs, videos and game saves.”

Customer: “Well, what is the difference between the two?”

Me: “One system has twice the memory of the other.”

Customer: “Can they both play PS3 games?”

Me: “Yes, sir…”

Customer: “Then what is the difference between the two?”

(This went on for awhile. He ended up buying an Xbox 360.)

I Can See Clearly Now The Brain Is Gone

| Saarland, Germany | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “I need binoculars.”

(I show him a selection of binoculars.)

Customer: “No, no, no. Not one of these. I want one with a magnification of fifty or so.”

Me: “I’m sorry, there are no binoculars with a magnification of fifty.”

Customer: “Are you saying I’m wrong? I’m an engineer. I have two diplomas. Two! I know how things work, thank you!”

(He grabs one of the binoculars, holds it the wrong way round and looks through it.)

Customer: “This one’s broken!”

Solid Answer

| PA, USA | Uncategorized

(Our store phrase is “filled with love” and is printed on all of our products.)

Customer: “So‚Ķ. if I bite into this… Will love pour out?”

Me: “No, it’s solid love.”

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