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    The Logic Is Weak In This One

    | Victoria, BC, Canada |

    (A man comes out of the fitting room with a pair of pants and talks to my coworker.)

    Customer: “So… it says here on the hanger, that it’s size 34. The tag says 34, and this other tag says 34. But there’s no freaking way I can fit into these! So what does that mean?

    Coworker: “Well, I guess that means you’re not a size 34…”

    Customer: “Oh. Thanks.”

    We Stand Up For Our Own

    , | Ontario, Canada |

    (It’s Christmastime, which is always hellish at our video game store. There is a giant line running all the way to the back of the store, and I am serving a young boy and his grandfather.)

    Me: “Your total comes to $68.98.”

    Customer: “What? That’s too high. That game was fifty dollars.”

    Me: “Oh, the game is actually $59.99.”

    Customer: “I told you I didn’t want any of your extra s***. I just want this game thing he wants.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you misread the price sir, but that language in unacceptable in this store, especially with so many young people nearby.”

    Customer: “You know what, I didn’t come in here for your attitude. I came in here to buy my stupid grandson’s stupid game!”

    Me: “Then it’s $68.98…”

    Customer: “These games are so absolutely stupid. You people waste your time and your money on this s***! You people are all fat and unemployed and pathetic! You game people need to get f***ing jobs!”

    Another customer in line: “She’s doing her job right now, idiot.”

    Another customer in line #2: “Get lost, jerk!”

    Me: “That line behind you is composed of gamers, sir.”

    (At this point, the entire lineup starts yelling at the guy that he’s a jerk.)

    Customer: *flees the store*

    (For the next half hour every single customer, most of them probably gamers, tells me that I don’t deserve that kind of treatment, and apologizes for him. It is easily one of the best days I’ve ever had at work.)

    Permission To Abuse, Denied

    | St. John's, NL, Canada |

    (I’m trying to organize curtains, shams, valances, etc., when a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

    Me: “I certainly do, can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: *snotty* “Yeah, can you get out of my way, please?”

    Me: “…”

    Customer, to his wife: “I can say that to her because she works here!”

    $20k A Year For Beer And Bongs

    , | Midland, MI, USA |

    (A bunch of college-aged frat-looking boys walk into the shoe store while I’m shopping there.)

    Dude 1: “Duuuuuude this store smells like something.”

    Dude 2: “I know dude, it smells like shoes!”

    Getting A Word In Edgewise

    | Adelaide, Australia | Top

    Customer: “I want to see that brooch.”

    Me: “Here it is–”

    Customer: “How much is it?”

    Me: “Well, it’s–”

    Customer: “You don’t need to know where I get my money from!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Well, it costs–”

    Customer: “I’m on a disability pension.”

    Me: “It costs thirty–”

    Customer: “And it’s none of your business why!”

    Me: “Thirty five dol–”

    Customer: “I had an accident and broke my leg.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Do you want to know why I’m buying this?”

    Me: “Umm… no, it’s okay.”

    Customer: “BECAUSE GREEN IS MY FAVORITE COLOR!”

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