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    We Need One Of These In Every Store, Part 3

    | Ohio, USA | Awesome Customers

    (The store I work at has a policy where an employee has to check every customer’s receipt on their way out the exit. After checking several receipts, a customer walks up with three items in his cart and starts walking right past me.)

    Me: “Sir, I need to check your receipt.”

    Customer: “I only have three items in my cart.”

    Me: “I know, but it’s store policy. I just need to mark it with –”

    Customer: “It’s because I’m black, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You’re only checking my receipt because I’m black! You think because I’m black, I’m a thief!”

    Me: “Sir, I checked the receipts for everybody in front of you, and I’m going to check the receipts for everybody behind you. Now if you’ll let me see your receipt, I just need to mark it. You’re holding everybody up.”

    Customer: “No, I’m not moving until you call your manager! I don’t shop here to be treated like this! You d*** racist!”

    (At this point, a big, imposing customer waiting behind him–who just happens to also be African American–explodes.)

    Big, imposing customer: “GET YOUR A** OUT OF THE WAY NOW!”

    Customer: *hands me receipt*

    Related:
    We Need One Of These In Every Store, Part 2
    We Need One Of These In Every Store

    Canada, America’s Baseball Cap

    | Victoria, British Columbia, Canada |

    (A young couple with an almost stereotypical southern accent enters the shop, browses around, and pick up some things, then go to the cash desk.)

    Me: “Is that everything for you today?”

    Woman: “We’re on our honeymoon…”

    Me: “Okay… will you be paying with cash, debit, or credit?”

    (The man throws some money on the counter, saying nothing.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t take American money.”

    Man:“WHY ¬†THE &@^# NOT? AMERICA IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!”

    Me: “Well, that might be the case, but this isn’t America.”

    Woman: “What?”

    Me: “This isn’t America. It’s Canada.”

    Woman: “But that’s part of America, right?”

    Me: “No.”

    Man: “Oh, I get it. It must be Canada day. That’s when they pretend to be independent.”

    Me: “Sir, we ARE independent. It’s a separate country. Different money, different government, different accents.”

    Man: *winks to his wife* “Right…”

    Let’s Try Something Simpler, Like Boiling Water

    , | Redding, CA, USA |

    (A woman comes into the store just before closing, and asks where our muffin pans are.)

    Me: “Right this way…”

    Customer: “So how do you make muffins?”

    Me: “Well… I guess you’d just have to buy a box of muffin mix and read the directions.”

    Customer: “Well, what do you usually put IN muffins?”

    Me: There’s the mix, then the eggs, then the milk, or possibly water….”

    Customer: “What do I do with all of that?”

    Me: “Normally, you would mix the ingredients and put them in the muffin pan.”

    Customer: “So I just pour them in the pan?”

    Me: “You can… but most people put the batter in paper muffin cups.”

    Customer: “So do I put the paper cups in before or after the batter?”

    Me: “…”

    Not. Funny.

    | Viera, FL, USA |

    (I am folding clothes when I am approached by an angry looking customer. I turn to her, and she lowers her voice to almost a growl and narrows her voice.)

    Customer: “I hate this store. I hate you because you work in it. I’m going to take it out on your family and kill them all.”

    Me: *alarmed*

    Customer: *glares

    Me: “Is there anything…”

    Customer: “HA! HA HA HA! FOOLED YOU! You should have SEEN your face! Got you!” *strolls off*

    She Said, He Said

    | Fairfax, VA, USA | Top

    (I’m the electronics specialist at my store, and all electronic products go through me at some point before they are put out on the floor.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a video game for my son. Can you find someone to help me with that?”

    Me: “Oh, sure. Which game system did you want it for?”

    Customer: “Oh no, not you. Can you find someone else? ”

    Me: “Well, there’s nobody else in this department right now who has access to the video games. It’s gonna have to be me.”

    Customer: “I mean, you’re a GIRL. What do you know? I demand that someone with more… well, I want a guy to help me. I’ll wait.”

    Me: “Sure… I’ll call someone to come over.”

    (I call over my male co-worker on the walkie who arrives about ten minutes later. My coworker gives me a weird look.)

    Coworker: “Okay… what did you need, sir?”

    (The customer starts rattling off a ton of technical questions about the compatibility of certain games and accessories, as well as questions about the content of each game.)

    Coworker: “Uhh… I don’t really know. You should ask her. She IS the Electronics Specialist…”

    Customer: “WHAT?! HOW?! She’s… a… GIRL! Well, I still want you to help me.”

    (My coworker and I follow this customer around for about 20 minutes as he asks questions to my coworker, who in turn asks ME. When I answer, the customer tunes out, so that my coworker has to repeat what I said.)

    Customer: “Now, was that so hard?”

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