I work for a gardening company that generally helps customers with checking on their orders, simple gardening questions, etc.

A customer joins the chat.

Me: “You are now chatting with [My Name]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “What is an Easy Number?”

Me: “Oh, that is your account number. You may sometimes see it referred to as an Easy Number as it easily allows us to locate your information.”

Customer: “Where is my account number?”

Me: “I can look that up for you. Have you placed an order with us before?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Oh, well, that screen you are trying to log into right now is for customers to check the status of their previously placed orders.”

Customer: “Aw, okay. How do I pay for my order?”

Me: “Your credit card will be charged at the time your order is placed.”

Customer: “I don’t know how to do that.”

Me: “I’m sorry, could you explain what you don’t know how to do?”

Customer: “Charge my credit card.”

Me: “Oh, I apologize for the confusion. When you place your order, the system will automatically charge your card for you.”

Customer: “Okay. How do I create an account?”

Me: “When you submit your order, an account is automatically created for you.”

Customer: “I placed an order with your company yesterday.”

Me: “Oh, I apologize for misunderstanding earlier. I would be happy to look up your account number for you.”

Customer: “Actually, I don’t want you to do that. I have a doctor’s appointment. I’ll chat with you again later.”

The customer left the chat.

I went back and read the chat three times after they disconnected to make sure I understood that they blatantly said, “Nope,” when I asked if they placed an order with us before.

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Mosquitos have been in high numbers in our area this year so, as such, we have been going through a lot of bug spray — in this case, specifically the bug spray brand named “Off!”

A coworker and I are going through our order that was just unloaded. He turns to me holding up a case of said bug spray.

Coworker: “Hey, look what we finally got in.”

Without even thinking, the words that escaped my mouth are:

Me: “Oh, great! We’ve been having trouble getting Off!”

Recreational marijuana was recently legalized in my state, and CBD has been legal for years now. My partner tells me this story from his job at a CBD store.

If someone comes in for the free samples they advertise, he always explains how the products work with your body. One sample is an ingestible water soluble that is fruit-flavored, and the other is a topical cream that has peppermint extract and smells as such. He works alone, so I go to drop him off some lunch and he tells me about the customer who just left.

Partner: “So, this guy just came in for the free samples, which happens a lot. I went through everything with him and gave him the water-soluble, he drank it, and then I gave him some of the cream on a tongue depressor, and he tried to EAT THE CREAM!”

Me: “Oh, my God! You told him it was topical, right?”

Partner: “I said it was topical and I said if he had any pain in his shoulder or leg or something to apply it there! I had to run in back and get some paper towels for him.”

I laughed all the way home and for several days afterward.

I work for a store that is under a multi-store ownership. Our other store sells building material, and often customers will request it to be shipped to our store for easier pickup.

During the height of the lockdown in our area, a contractor who we don’t like because he is arrogant and rude came in.

Contractor: “I got a call that some material I ordered arrived.”

We looked through our whole receiving area and found nothing. The customer started getting rather angry.

Contractor: “But I got a call from you saying that it’s here!”

We went around, asking every staff member if they had seen the other store come by and drop the material off. Everyone said they never even saw the other store arrive.

Manager: *To the contractor* “Go wait in your vehicle, and I’ll make some calls to figure out what’s going on.”

Contractor: “You all don’t know how to do your jobs!”

The guy spewed and ranted for a bit, and then angrily stomped back to his truck.

Since it was close to closing time, I went outside to put stuff away. The whole time, I saw the guy angrily stomping around, slamming doors and the tailgate of his truck. After several minutes of observing his fits of rage, I saw him get back into his truck and turn it on with the tailgate open and an open toolbox resting on the back.

He then hit the gas hard and sped out of his parking spot, going for the exit. But his toolbox slid off the back and slammed onto the ground, spilling his tools everywhere.

I bit my tongue trying not to laugh as I watched him stomp out of his truck and go back to collect his fallen tools. Just as he finished and got back in, my manager came out and walked up to the driver’s side window.

He talked to the guy for a moment, and then the guy flipped him off and sped out of the parking lot.

My manager came over to me, chuckling.

Me: “What happened?”

Manager: “The guy’s material did arrive, but it arrived at the other store. That’s who phoned him. And they didn’t send it over to us because he never asked them to.”

A few days later, I talked to a coworker from the other store who dealt directly with the contractor.

Coworker: “He was nice and sweet on the phone when he was asking about why his material wasn’t sent to your store. I’m not one to tolerate much, so I told him that he never asked it to be sent there. I told him we’d discussed it being sent over, but he never said yes to it. When I told him we would send it over, I told him he’d better be nice to the workers at your store when he went to get it. He asked what I meant, and I told him I’d heard how rude and disrespectful he was to all of you for something that wasn’t your fault. I said that if I heard about him treating you like that again, we weren’t going to bother ordering anything for him again. He told me he was under a lot of stress trying to get his job done, but I told him that was no excuse to treat you all the way he did. I said, ‘Treat them better or don’t shop with us at all.’”

His material did arrive at our store, and when he came to pick it up, let’s just say he’d miscommunicated how much he actually wanted. We could see his face turning red with anger, but it was funny watching him trying to keep his rage under control.

I am a cashier. It’s mid-afternoon, and I’m tired and a bit irritable from having to walk to work in nearly 115-degree weather. There are only three cashiers scheduled for today. Despite this, I always do my best to be kind and (if I feel the customer appreciates it) funny to help the time pass. I’m working in the box, where I can process purchases and returns.

I see a young woman in the return line and decide to call her over to my register despite the fact that I have dozens of customers in the purchase line.

Me: “Ma’am, I can take your return over here.”

The customer walks over and says nothing to me, which is when I realize she is talking on her phone. She throws a bag of clothes and her receipt onto the counter and then continues blabbering away on her phone. I scan the receipt and my heart drops. It’s exactly thirty-one days since she purchased the item, which means I can only do the return for store credit and I need a valid ID to continue.

Not wanting to interrupt her “very important ” phone call (she is obviously flirting), I put my hands on the counter and look at her. After a few moments, she tilts the phone down for a second.

Rude Customer: “What the f*** do you need from me?”

Me: *Curtly, so I don’t blow up on her* “I need an ID.”

She proceeds to toss her ID at me and, when I finally get the opportunity to tell her that I can only do store credit, she starts questioning everything about the transaction. My manager, who has been behind me this entire time, tells her there’s nothing we can do. She begins cursing up a storm but accepts the store credit and leaves in a huff.

Me: *To my coworker* “I need to take a minute so I don’t blow up on another customer.”

At this point, my coworker is helping two middle-aged women. One of them looks at me and says:

Customer #2: “Take your time honey. That girl was a c***!”

Luckily, I had a few very kind customers later that day. Sometimes, the good outweighs the bad, and I continue to be kind and helpful at work.