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    Please, Take A Cut Of My Cheese

    , | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: *completely stoned* “Hey, what’s your cheapest thing in the store?”

    Me: “That’d probably be these miniature whoopee cushions. They’re a dollar apiece. There are three on the shelf behind you.”

    Customer: “I’ll take all of them!”

    (As I’m finishing the transaction, a well-dressed mother comes in with a young boy in tow.)

    Customer: “Hey guys! Look what I just got!” *shows them the whoopee cushions*

    Mother: *obviously uncomfortable* “Um…that’s very…nice, I guess?”

    Customer: “Do you want one?”

    Mother: “Oh no, no thank you, we were just–”

    Customer: “C’mon, I have three of them! What do I need three for?”

    (He shoves a whoopee cushion into the mother’s hands and wanders off happily.)

    One Adapter To Plug Them All

    , | Washington, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need an adapter.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, what kind of adapter?”

    Customer: “You mean there’s more than one?”

    Too Much Shinformation

    | Winkler, MB, Canada | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hi there sir, can I find you a size in those jeans?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I’m not sure what size I am.”

    Me: “Oh, well–”

    Customer: “Wait, I can check!”

    (The customer undoes his pants and pulls them down to his knees.)

    Customer: “Check! Find the tag! I don’t know where it is, find my size!”

    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3

    | Charlottetown, PE, Canada | Uncategorized

    (A customer places an unopened box on the counter.)

    Customer: “Can you please check to make sure this isn’t broken?”

    Me: “Sure thing!”

    (I open box, remove Styrofoam, check product, replace in Styrofoam, close box.)

    Customer: “Excellent. I’ll take that. Actually, can I please have one that hasn’t been opened?”

    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2
    Not Thinking Outside The Box

    Less Dress Codes, More Codes Of Conduct

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Uncategorized

    (I’m wearing a shirt and khaki pants while shopping at a certain discount store; I am not an employee. Another customer approaches me. )

    Customer: “Do you have any more of these in back?”

    Me: “Sorry, I don’t work here.”

    (I push my cart down the next aisle and continue my shopping.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Don’t ignore a customer! That is rude!”

    Me: “I don’t work here. If you pick up the phone at the end of the aisle, they will send someone over to help you.”

    (I walk away and continue shopping.)


    Me: “I don’t work here. I can’t help you!”

    Customer: “How rude!”

    (Later on, I am pushing my cart of purchases out of the store. I see the customer talking to a manager.)

    Customer: “HIM!” *points at me* “He is the jerk who ignored me in your sporting goods department! You should be ashamed of how rude he is to customers. I won’t shop here if that is the kind of employee you hire.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, that man is not one of my employees.”

    Customer: “Then you need to make sure customers don’t come to the store dressed like employees!”

    (The woman storms off, but the manager hands me a coupon for a free coffee from the store snack bar for my trouble.)