October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

A Very, Very Happy Anniversary

| Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

(A man walks into the smoke shop and looks around at the acrylic bongs.)

Customer: “I’ll take the blue one.”

Me: “No problem.”

(He pays then leaves. About an hour later, he returns looking distressed.)

Customer: “Something’s wrong with this vase you sold me. I bought this vase for my wife for our anniversary. But the roses I bought won’t fit in it!”

Me: “Sir, that is not a vase. It’s a bong.”

Customer: “What?! Why would you sell bongs in a vase shop?! I have a bunch of people coming over and this was going to be the center piece!”

Me: “This is a smoke shop, sir. Not a vase shop. Would you like to return the bong for a refund?”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “No. On second thought, I think I’ll find some use for it…”

Why Judgment Day’s Gonna Be A Cakewalk, Part 2

| St. Charles, MO, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, how do I get out?”

Me: “The door is right over there, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, but it’s not opening.”

Me: “It isn’t an automatic door.”

Customer: “So, how do I get out?”

Why Judgment Day’s Gonna Be A Cakewalk

Visual Innuendos

| Norway | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, may I help you with anything?”

Customer: “Ah, yes, please. I have no idea what I’m looking for really.”

Me: “What room are you thinking about redecorating?”

Customer: “My bedroom. It’s just so plain boring. I need some action! Action around the bed, you know?”

Me: “Oh…yeah.”

Customer: *pauses* “Wall…on the wall! I meant action on the wall!”

Baaah-laboring The Obvious

, | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you have any kid’s shoes?”

Me: *thinking she’s referring to a similar-sounding brand* “Yes. They are right over here.”

Customer: “No, not these. Kid’s shoes!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. The youth department is over here.”

Customer: “No, not kid’s, kid’s!”

Me: “I’m sorry, are you looking for the brand, or kid’s shoes?”

Customer: “Kid’s!”

Me: *showing her the brand* “Is this what you are looking for?”

Customer: “Yes. Do you have them in kid’s?”

Me: “No, we do not have kid’s sizes.

Customer: “I am not looking for kid’s sizes! I am looking for some to fit me!”

Me: *confused* “These are our adult shoes…the youth section is over there.”

Customer: “Do you even know what a kid is?”

Me: “No?”

Customer: “A kid is a baby goat! I am looking for shoes made out of baby goat skin!”

Barefoot And Barely Conscious

, | Winnipeg, Canada | Uncategorized

Manager: “*** Shoes, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Shoes? What kind of store is this? I have a bill here from you.”

Manager: “It’s a shoe store.”

Customer: “A shoe store?”

Manager: “A shoe store.”

Customer: “Shoes?”

Manager: “Yes, a shoe store.”

Customer: “A masseuse? ”

Manager: “No, a shoe store.”

Customer: “What are shoes?”

Manager: “…you wear them on your feet?”

Customer: “Shoes?” *pauses* “Oh, shoes! Oh, right! It says that right on my bill here!” *hangs up*

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