November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Please See The Hypothetical Aisle

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer comes in looking for an item I knew we do not carry.)

Customer: “Where would I find a [item]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry that.”

Customer: *stares at me awhile* “Well, if you did carry it, what aisle would it be in?”

Cost In The Translation

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Top

(In the store we put on our own price tags, but customers have a bad habit of taking them off to get a lower price.)

Customer: “Hi, could I get a price on this?”

Me: “Sure.” *takes a look* “It’ll be $14.99.”

Customer’s daughter: *in Spanish* “Wow mom, that’s more expensive than the real tag!”

Customer: “No thanks.”

Me: *in Spanish* “Have a good day, and come back soon!” *wink*

Ah, Mothers, Part 4

| Staffordshire, UK | Uncategorized

(A lady comes running up to the till almost in tears, screaming that she has lost her daughter. I ask the lady for her daughter’s details. As a rule, we are not allowed to say the child’s name.)

Customer: “Just call her name!”

Me: “We can’t do that. How old is she and what is she wearing?”

Customer: “Just call her name! Please, I just need to find her. She’s lost. She’ll be scared.”

Me: “If you can tell us what she looks like and her age, we can put a call out for her and everybody in store can look out for her.”

Customer: “Just call her name will you! Stop being so cocky!”

Me: “We really aren’t supposed to put out names. If somebody finds your daughter, she is more likely to go off with them if they say her name.”

Customer: “Are you stupid? She is 37 years old! She isn’t going to go off with some stranger!”

Ah, Mothers, Part 3
Ah, Mothers, Part 2
Ah, Mothers

Passing It Forward

| A.C.T., Australia | Uncategorized

Me: “How are you today sir?”

Customer: “Ahhhhh…well, I’m pretty good now!”

Me: “Now?”

Customer: “I’ve just had a horrible stomach ache all day, but I just farted and I feel much better!”

Me: “That’s…nice…”

(The relieved customer leaves, but another customer approaches. They’re unaware of the previous conversation.)

Another customer: “Can you smell something? Do you think it’s the meat? Does it smell off to you?”

Me: “No, miss. I don’t think it’s the meat.”

Being That Stupid Is Quite A Feet

| Wisconsin, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “How big do people usually make fleece blankets?”

Me: “For people under six foot they’re usually 2 1/2 yards, and for over six feet, three yards.”

(The customer is silent for a moment, giving me a confused stare.)

Customer: “I’m just no good with metric yards.”