Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Customer Service Is Over(reaction)
    (1,599 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Grog Carry Bag, Grog Not Fashion Consultant

    | Houston, TX, USA | Top

    Customer: “What do you think about this bra?”

    Customer’s husband: “Umm… sure.”

    Customer: “Okay, should I get this one in white or black?”

    Customer’s husband: “I don’t know! I don’t wear them, I just take them off of you!”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

    Now You Know How We Feel

    | New York, USA |

    (It’s Sunday and I’m dressed up because I just came from church. I’m shopping at the local bed and bath store.)

    Customer: “Excuse me? Where are the curtain rods?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?!”

    Me: “I don’t work here, ma’am, so I don’t know where the curtain rods are. I can help you find someone who does, though.”

    Customer: “This is unacceptable. Show me where the curtain rods are.”

    Me: “I hate to break this to you, but I really don’t work here. I think there is a help desk over there, though.”

    Customer: *calls husband over* “Can you set her straight? I’m trying to find curtain rods and she refuses to help me!”

    Husband: “Look, you are getting paid far to much money to be screwing around! Now, my wife asked you something very simple. She cannot seem to find the curtain rods. Show us where they are, or we will call your manager.”

    Me: “Sir, I am sorry, but I don’t work here. I don’t know where they are.”

    Husband: “I can tell a worker when I see one. No one but workers wears suits.”

    Me: “I wear them for church, sir.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m wearing a suit because I just came from church with my family. I’m sorry I can’t help you.”

    Customer: “I hate this store.”

    Husband: “I know, honey, I know. Let’s just go. We can get curtain rods online!”

    (I feel so sorry for the people who actually work here.)

    A Little Bit Too Specific

    | Pasadena, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, you know your stock pretty well, right?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Customer: “My wife is divorcing me, but her birthday is next week. I need a card for that.”

    Me: “…I don’t think they really make a card for that occasion.”

    … And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us, Part Two

    | Birmingham, AL, USA |

    Customer: “I’m looking for something that ain’t made in China. This one says made in EU… what’s that mean?”

    Me: “It means it’s made in the European Union.”

    Customer: “Billy! Billy come quick! This lady says Europe’s a union now!

    Me: “No, ma’am, it means…”

    Billy: “Europe united? ”

    Me: “Sir, the European Union is…”

    Billy: “‘Bout g*d**n time. It was them d*** countries that started the war!”

    Bad Pickup Lines Revisited

    | Midland, MI, USA |

    (I was on the phone with a customer who was asking about underwear.  Keep in mind that I am female.)

    Me: “Hello, this is ***. How may I help you?”

    Male customer: “Yes, I’m looking for pink underwear.”

    Me: “Okay, are you looking for men or women?”

    Male customer: “Women.”

    Me: “Alright, we have many types of pink underwear. Do you know what kind you are looking for?”

    Male customer: “No, what kinds do you have?”

    (I proceed to list off the types of ladies underwear that come in pink.)

    Male customer: “Um, okay. What kind of underwear are you wearing?”

    Me: “Is that really necessary?”

    Male customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “No, it’s not.” *click*

    Related:
    Bad Pickup Lines, Parte Deux
    One Bad Pickup Line, A Hundred Stitches


    Page 349/400First...347348349350351...Last