November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Three Obsessive Compulsives And One Oedipus Complex To Go

| Utrecht, Netherlands | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

Student: “I want to get a sample.”

Me: “A sample of what?”

Student: “What have you got?”

Me: “What do you need it for? For class?”

Student: “Yeah, for class.”

Me: “Which class?”

Student: “Social Sciences.”

Me: “I’m not aware of any requirements for that class. Do you have it written down somewhere?”

(The student looks through her bag and produces a piece of paper. She hands it to me.)

Me: “This is an assignment to set up a small psychological experiment.”

Student: “Yes! And I need a sample.”

Me: “Do you mean participants? You want me to get you participants?”

Student: “Yeah, the teacher said about 30 should do. Do they come to my place or do I have to get them from here?”

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not how it works. You have to find participants on your own.”

Student: “What? That’s ridiculous! Isn’t it enough that I do all the science?”

Photo Incognito

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “My daughter’s passport photo was just rejected.”

Me: “Did she take it here?”

Customer: “No, it was taken at [other location].”

Me: “What can we do for you then?”

Customer: “It needs to be retaken!”

Me: “Well, if you would like to have your daughter come in we will be happy to take it for her.”

Customer: “She has to be here?”

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What Are They Feeding You

| Farmington Hills, MI, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Oh, I needed help putting in this cat food, and the young man put in the wrong brand!”

Me: “Okay, let’s go over there and get the right one.”

(We walk over, and she looks at about five different bags of cat food, then goes to a bag of litter.)

Customer: “I think it was this one I wanted.”

Me: “Wait, did you want cat food or litter?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Cheap Computers Are Not Enough Of A Steal

, | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I need to get a 7 inch screen computer that will fit on my lap when I use it. Please, sell me one now!”

Me: “I’d be happy to help you find a laptop.”

Customer: “Well first off, I don’t want a laptop. I want a computer with a 7-inch screen that can sit on my lap while I’m using it.”

Me: “Okay, follow me sir.”

(I find him his computer. A few hours pass and the customer leaves holding a small box in his arms. The alarm sounds as he leaves the building. I rush up and bring him back inside.)

Customer: “What is all this about! I stole nothing! I bought this computer! I paid for it just a minute ago!”

Me: *searching his things* “Sir, you have a wireless mouse, 3 CD’s, 2 DVD’s, a camera, and a portable radio hidden in your jacket. You can’t just walk out of here without paying for those.”

Customer: “But I bought the computer!”

Not Usually Compa(red)

| Omaha, NE, USA | Uncategorized

(In Nebraska, Husker football games are a really big deal. Nearly everyone wears red Husker shirts.)

Customer: “How come you aren’t wearing a Husker shirt?”

Me: “Well, we have to wear our work uniforms so people know who to ask for help.”

Customer: “That’s practically un-American!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Are you a communist?”

Me: “You’re the one wearing red, sir.”