October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

If You Can’t Bear Them, Join Them

| Coral Springs, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I like that little teddy bear with the sweater. How much is it?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, the teddy bear comes with this gift set of fragrance and body wash. It’s $30.”

Customer: “No. Just the bear.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I have no way to just ring up the bear as it comes with the gift set only.”

Customer: “Then how do I get the bear?”

Me: “Well, you would have to buy this gift set. It’s a very popular and only $30.”

Customer: “No, thank you. I’ll just take the bear today. How much?”

Me: “Ma’am, we do have a good deal for the holidays. I can sell you the bear, for only $30, and not only that, but I will throw in this fragrance gift set, just for you.”

Customer: “Thank you so very much, dear!”

A Very Electric Blender

| New Brunswick, IN, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like to sell this.” *hands me a blender*

Me: “Okay, let’s take a look. Does it work?”

Customer: “Yep, it works great.”

(I proceed to test the blender. I plug it in and a huge spark jumps from the plug and the fuse blows. I unplug the blender and pick it up to try it in another plug. I notice a puddle under the blender.)

Me: “Where is this water coming from?”

Customer: “Oh…well, I put it through the dishwasher. Maybe it wasn’t completely dry yet.”

Me: “Putting the blender jar into the dishwasher shouldn’t make that much of a mess.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I put the whole thing in the dishwasher. I wanted the base to be clean, too.”

Please, Take A Cut Of My Cheese

, | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: *completely stoned* “Hey, what’s your cheapest thing in the store?”

Me: “That’d probably be these miniature whoopee cushions. They’re a dollar apiece. There are three on the shelf behind you.”

Customer: “I’ll take all of them!”

(As I’m finishing the transaction, a well-dressed mother comes in with a young boy in tow.)

Customer: “Hey guys! Look what I just got!” *shows them the whoopee cushions*

Mother: *obviously uncomfortable* “Um…that’s very…nice, I guess?”

Customer: “Do you want one?”

Mother: “Oh no, no thank you, we were just–”

Customer: “C’mon, I have three of them! What do I need three for?”

(He shoves a whoopee cushion into the mother’s hands and wanders off happily.)

One Adapter To Plug Them All

, | Washington, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need an adapter.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what kind of adapter?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one?”

Too Much Shinformation

| Winkler, MB, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi there sir, can I find you a size in those jeans?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’m not sure what size I am.”

Me: “Oh, well–”

Customer: “Wait, I can check!”

(The customer undoes his pants and pulls them down to his knees.)

Customer: “Check! Find the tag! I don’t know where it is, find my size!”

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