November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Extremely Last Minute Shopping

| Fairfax, VA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, ma’am! Is there something I can help you find?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for this jacket for a ski trip. Do you have this one?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. They are over there on that fixture. Let me know if I can check for a size in the back.”

(The customer goes off, looks at the jackets then comes back.)

Customer: “There wasn’t the size I needed on the rack. Could you check in the back?”

Me: *checks in back* “Sorry, ma’am. We don’t have that size.”

Customer: “What?! Why don’t you have it?”

Me: “Well, I can order it for you. It will only take about a week.”

Customer: “I can’t wait a week.”

Me: “We can also expedite shipping. When do you leave?”

Customer: “I’m on my way to the airport.”

Talk Is Cheap, Texting However…

| Utah, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks up to our cell phone store looking very frustrated.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, I have charges on my bill for text messaging, but I have unlimited texting. Why did you charge me?”

Me: “Ok, well let me look up your account and take a look.”

(I look up the account and notice that he activated his service two weeks ago and doesn’t have a balance yet.)

Me: “Sir, your balance right now is at $0.00. You don’t owe us anything yet.”

Customer: “Yeah, you said I do! You sent me a text message about it!”

(He pulls out his phone and shows me a text that says he owes $29.95 worth of texting to premium girls-chat website.)

Me: “We haven’t charged you, but that company charges you if you use their…services.”

Customer: “So I have to pay 29 bucks?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Well I’m going to delete her from my phone then, because she’s really expensive!”

Like Himself, His Answer Was Full Of Crap

| Oregon, USA | Top

Me: “Thanks for coming in today, sir. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I can’t get this thing to work! I set up the password and now I can’t remember it.”

Me: “Alright, that’s an easy fix. Let’s go to the site to reset your password.”

(I guide the customer to the correct site and we get to the option to answer a secret question of the user’s choice. The question: ‘Am I a s***head?’)

Customer: “Hmm…” *types ‘No’*

Computer: “I’m sorry, the answer you have selected is incorrect. Please try again.”

Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 2

| Swansea, MA | Uncategorized

Me: “Alright, is that everything, ma’am?”

Customer: “I have a question.”

(The customer holds up two packages of sliced ham.)

Customer: “Does this have any pork in it?”

Me: “Um, well, yes. Ham is a pork product.”

Customer: “Both of them?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay, then I’m not getting them. I thought maybe you had the kind of ham that had turkey in it.”

Not To La-Boar The Point

Logic That Doesn’t Hold Water

| Green Brook, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

(I recently sold a pool to an elderly customer. Right after the installers leave, she calls the store.)

Customer: “Hi, may I speak with [me]?”

Me: “This is [me], how may I help you?”

Customer: “I just had my pool installed today.”

Me: “Oh yes, how did everything go? Are you satisfied with the job?”

Customer: “Yes everything is perfect, but I was wondering what box the water came in? I think the delivery men may have forgotten it.”