Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,332 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Beefed-Up Technology

    | Kansas City, MO, USA |

    (I was a customer at a cell phone store, observing the following exchange.)

    Employee: “I’m sorry sir, but your phone has water damage, which isn’t covered by the warranty. You will have to purchase a new phone.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I haven’t gotten the phone wet!”

    Employee: “Have you used the phone in the rain? Sometimes, that’s all it takes to get the internals wet enough to damage the device.”

    Customer: “Well, yes, but that doesn’t make any sense! Cows are in the rain all the time and they don’t die!”

    Employee: “…”

    Me: *interjecting* “Sir, cows aren’t electronic devices.”

    Customer: *storms out*

    The Elves Didn’t Meet Quota This Year

    | Texas, USA |

    Me: “Hi, thank you for calling ****. My name is ****, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes ma’am, I was wondering if you had any Mario Karts?”

    Me: “For the Nintendo Wii? No ma’am, we are currently sold out.”

    Customer: “Okay, but are you sure you don’t have any stocked up in the back that you’re ‘holding’ for someone?”

    Me: “No ma’am. We have none in stock whatsoever.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t think you’re helping me out too much with this sale.”

    Me: “Ma’am? There’s not really much I can do.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t think you UNDERSTAND. It is IMPERATIVE that I get this game for Christmas. You DO know what that means, right?”

    Me: “I’m fully capable of understanding a 4-syllable word, ma’am. However, that game has been a very hot item this Christmas, and has been nearly impossible to find. Im-poss-i-ble. You DO know what that means, right?”

    Customer: “WHY DON’T YOU GO ABOVE AND BEYOND FOR YOUR CUSTOMERS?”

    Me: “Ma’am, what more can I possibly do? We don’t have any physically in the store.”

    Customer: “Well thanks a lot! Now you’re gonna make me look like a bad Santa in front of my children!”

    Me: “Ma’am, a good Santa wouldn’t have waited two days before Christmas.”

    South Paw Prophecy

    | Gatineau, Quebec, Canada |

    Me: “Hello there, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I would like a refund on this item, please.”

    Me: “Ok, no problem sir.”

    (I start filling out a refund sheet.)

    Customer: “Oh! I see that you’re left handed!”

    Me: “Yep!”

    Customer: “I pity you….”

    Me: “Um…and why should I be pitied, exactly?”

    Customer: “How long did your parents live?”

    Me: “Er…both of my parents are very much alive, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh? What about your grandparents?”

    Me: “I saw them a few days ago. They’re alive too, and in great
    health.”

    Customer: “How old are they?”

    Me: *telling him their ages* “They’re in great shape.”

    Customer: “Then you will die at the age of 70!”

    Me: “Here’s your refund, sir….”

    Customer: “I wish it weren’t so…good luck to you.”

    Me: “Ok…”

    Seek, And Ye Shall Find…Eventually

    , | Glasgow, Scotland |

    Customer: “Hi. Can I have a cappuccino please?”

    Me: “Uh …sorry ma’am, but you’re in a furniture store. We don’t sell coffee.”

    Customer: “I didn’t ask for coffee, I asked for a d**n cappuccino!”

    Me: “Well, we don’t sell those either.”

    Customer: *looking hurt* “Why not?”

    Me: “We sell furniture. Look around you….”

    Customer: *starts crying* “This is the fourth time this has happened on this street!” *runs out*

    (As it turns out, she’d gone into a clothing store, a pharmacy and a grocery store, just to find herself a cappuccino.)

    The Joy Of Cooking Without Opposable Thumbs

    , | Berlin, VT, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me…where is your dog cookbook section?”

    Me: “Um…dog cookbooks?”

    Customer: “Yes. Where are they located?”

    Me: “We don’t have a dog cookbook section in the store. I don’t think we have any dog cookbooks at all.”

    Customer: *stares blankly* “You can’t be serious.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, miss. I might be able to order-”

    Customer: *interrupting* “YOU DON’T HAVE ANY DOG COOKBOOKS? THIS IS RIDICULOUS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY DOG FOR CHRISTMAS?”

    Me: “Have you considered a nice set of dog cookware?”

    Customer: *storms out*

    Page 345/415First...343344345346347...Last