I’m overseeing the self-checkout, but as it is usually a very mundane post, I’m a little zoned out. I hear a register beep as an item is scanned.

Register: “Would you like to continue?”

One beep, then another.

Register: “Would you like to continue?”

One beep, then another.

On the third repetition, it breaks through my brain fog, and I see a frustrated man at one of the card-only registers. He scans an item, the card-only message comes up, and he presses the “no” button.

Me: “Did you need help, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, please. I keep telling the register I don’t want to pay by card, but then it deletes my item and I have to start over!”

Me: “Sir, this register only takes cards. The registers on the other side can take cash if that’s how you want to pay.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you! I thought it was strange that this one wouldn’t!”

He paid at one of the cash checkouts and left with his items. I have no idea why he thought rejecting the card-only message would make that register accept cash.

I am the only closing supervisor one weekend. The other supervisor has quit, I am the only one left with nighttime availability on the weekend, and I am — to put it mildly — a bit fried. I am running back and forth between the register (being the only one with keys means only I can do overrides), the sales floor (being the only one with supervisor credentials means only I can do online orders), and the back room (because I’m trying to do the closing chores like locking the dumpster chute). I’m tired, I’m in pain, and I’m in no mood to suffer fools.

And then, the store phone rings.

Me: “Thank you for calling the [Location] of [Our Store]. How can I help you?”

Man: “Good evening, madam! I am [Man] and I am calling from the corporate office.”

Immediately, I’m suspicious. Our corporate office is based three time zones away, and they only call on weekdays between typical office hours, not at 8:00 pm on a Saturday night.

Me: “…uh-huh?”

Man: “‘Uh-huh’? That’s a great attitude to have, b****!”

He hangs up rather violently. I’m left gaping at the phone in my hand, and then I start to laugh. I immediately send a text to my boss.

Text: “Hey, boss, just FYI, someone claiming to be from corporate just called. Pretty sure it’s a scam, but we’re okay. I’ll email you the details when I get home.”

Turns out that some of the other stores in our company had been hit by the same call. The caller cons whoever answers into taking money out of the safe and using it to buy store gift cards, giving the numbers for the gift cards over the phone, and then destroying them.

Apparently, it was our turn, and I’m a b****. I can live with that.

I’ve been selling mattresses for a Canadian chain for over fifteen years now. An older gentleman kept arguing with me that foam is hot and there’s NO WAY he wanted ANY foam in his mattress.

Customer: “Listen, kid! You ain’t BS-ing me. I used to sell mattresses at [Retail Chain] back in 1987, and foam is always hot! You’re not gonna bamboozle me into thinking foam isn’t hot. I want no foam!“

His info was way outdated.

Me: “Thanks for calling me kid; I’m forty-nine. Sir, a lot has changed in thirty years. All mattresses will have some foam as upholstery layers. Now, some are made with cooling gels and phase change materials that wick heat away from your body. A lot has changed in comfort layers since 1987.”

Customer: “Well… I’m sixty-seven and know better than you. I sold mattresses for five years; I know what I’m talking about.”

I went for the kill.

Me: “Sir, I’ve been doing this for fifteen years, I’m a trainer for the company, and here is my [Brand] certification document. Plus, I wrote part of our training manual in regards to specifications.”

Then, I went on to explain the difference between open-cell foam versus closed-cell, mentioning foam density and ILD (indentation load deflection). I showed him and insisted he touched one of our coolest mattresses, saying that it’s three to six degrees cooler than traditional beds. At that point, he got upset.

Customer: “You’re just a little snot-nosed, bratty know-it-all!”

Me: “Thank you for acknowledging my expertise and professionalism.”

Customer: “Go f*** yourself!” 

He stormed out. His wife was extremely embarrassed.

Customer’s Wife: “I’m sorry about him. He can’t admit when he’s wrong. I’ll come back tomorrow and get that coolest mattress you have that’s made all of foam. It was comfy. He can sleep in the tub for all I care.”

She bought the bed the next day! Three weeks later, the man came back to see my colleague to exchange the mattress… because it was too cold.

I work for a discount food retailer. This seems to give people the impression that they can give us discounted humanity. I’m working on the freezer delivery. It comes on a pallet so I put it in the middle of the aisle, the same place that years of colleagues before me have done and hundreds and hundreds of customers have navigated with no issues.

Customer #1: “I don’t know why you don’t put this pallet to the side so there’s more room.”

Me: “Well, putting it in the middle allows room on either side. Plus, if it were to one side, people wouldn’t be able to get to the stuff behind it.”

Customer #2: “As opposed to now, when they can’t get to anything?”

I am looking at the space around the pallet that is currently blocked because he wants to complain.

Me: “Well, this is how I do it, and I work here. When you work here, you can park it where you want to.”

Customer #2: “What did you just say? Why are you speaking to me like that? Who the f*** do you think you are?!”

Me: “Who do I think I am? I am a person who doesn’t deserve to be spoken to like this.”

Customer #2: “Oh, right. Well, I don’t deserve to be spoken to like that. You’re giving it all that! Who are you?”

Me: “I’m not sure I follow. As far as I was concerned, we were having a conversation. Because you disagree with my answer, it doesn’t mean I’m being rude.”

Customer #2: “Oh, f*** off. I don’t even care!”

Me: “It seems like you do, but I honestly don’t.”

Then, he finished his shopping whilst huffing and puffing all around me and the many other customers who didn’t require input about my pallet or its location.

I’m literally over being treated like I’m nothing because I wear a uniform or sit behind a till. I am a person. I have a family beyond the shop, and I deserve to be treated decently.

A customer came in asking about ink for his wife’s printer.

Customer: “This is the one she wants; she wrote it down.”

I showed him the correct one and it was rather expensive.

Customer: “Can I buy this one that’s cheaper? You’re trying to overcharge me!”

Me: “The cheaper inks are okay but don’t always work so well. It’s always dependent on how much you print and the quality, etc.”

Customer: “You don’t know anything!”

He bought the cheaper ink and left.

A few days later, I saw the man shopping with his wife who called me over. She was very polite.

Customer’s Wife: “Can you help me choose a new printer, please? My husband broke mine a few days ago with some cheap ink he bought.”

The man stood there looking very sheepish and wouldn’t look at me the whole time I was helping his wife.