Slippery Christmas Ice

| United Kingdom | Uncategorized

(This occurred two days after Christmas Day on the refunds desk.)

Customer: “These slippers don’t fit! I’ve been the same shoe size for years. It must be these new European sizes, I can’t even get my foot in!”

Me: “That’s no proble,m sir. I’ll just refund these and give you a credit note, then you can go and choose some slippers that fit.”

Customer: “This ruined my Christmas, you know!”

(I take the slippers and examine them for any faults or damage, while the customer continues to rant.)

Me: “Sir, did you remove the tissue paper from the toes before you tried these on?”

Customer: “Oh…”

(Needless to say, the slippers did in fact fit. Christmas was saved.)

But Who Gets To Keep The Charger?

| Dallas, TX, USA | Uncategorized

(The customer calls in, having trouble with the bluetooth in her vehicle.)

Me: “Thank You for calling ***, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I am having trouble with my bluetooth thing.”

Me: “I can definitely help you with that. What is the nature of your problem?”

Customer: “I need help marrying my phone back with my car. When I bought the car they were married, and somehow they got divorced.”

Harry & Ginny: The Golden Years

| Long Island, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(A man walks up to my register with his wife, they have a few items, one of which is a broom.)

Me: “How are you guys today?”

Husband: “Oh, we’re good.”

(The husband takes the broom and places it on counter, then stares at his wife).

Wife: “What?”

Husband: “Are you sure you’re going to fit on this?”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

As Normal As A Nude Nymph With No Nails

| Oakville, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(Working near the fitting rooms, my coworker hears a customer ask for help from inside one of the stalls.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I need some help.”

Coworker: “Alright–”

(My coworker turns around and notices the customer standing outside of the stall completely nude except for the bra she was trying on.)

Customer: “How does this look on me? I’m not sure if this works for me.”

Coworker: “Um…why did you happen to take off your clothes?”

Customer: “Oh, because I feel more comfortable like this. So, what do you think?”

Coworker: “It looks…good.”

(My coworker looks down to avoid seeing the woman and notices stickers on the woman’s toes.)

Coworker: “Why do you have stickers on your toes, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t have any toenails. I think the stickers make them look prettier, and I feel more normal when I take off my shoes.”

We Live In That Kind Of Sue-ciety

, | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, did you find what you wanted today?”

Customer: “Kind of. I would like to purchase this toy but there’s a problem.”

Me: “And what is that?”

Customer: “This toy doesn’t come with the manual.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir, but most things sold here do not come with the manual. This is a second-hand store.”

Customer: “I understand that. but you obviously do not understand what I’m saying to you. I need the manual before I can buy this.”

Me: “And why is that, sir?”

Customer: “If this toy bursts into flames, how am I going to know who to sue?”

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