October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

(Please Go) Back To The Future

| Oxford, UK | Tourists/Travel

(I work in a small store in Oxford when a busload of tourists comes in to buy large quantities of sweets.)

Tourist: “We’re stocking up. We’re going to Stratford-on-Avon to see Shakespeare’s house.”

Me: “Okay, but why don’t you just buy it when you get there?”

(Several tourists stop what they are doing.)

Tourist: “They sell candy in the 16th century?”

May Contain Scenes Of Flippered Violence

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me I’m looking for a movie, it has 2 actors in it.”

Me: “Which two actors?”

Customer: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “What was the movie about?”

Customer: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “Do you know any part of the movie?”

Customer: “There’s a huge conflict in the middle of it.”

Me: “That could be almost any one of these movies.”

Customer: “Oh, here it is! March of the Penguins!”

Some Customers Never Let You Down

| London, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “Where are the escalators and lifts?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. The lift is reserved for people who are unable to use the stairs, and there are no escalators. There is a staircase just over there, if that’s what you’re looking for”.

Customer: “But those are ‘down’ stairs. I need to go back up.”

Me: “Ma’am, stairs go both up and down. That is why we have stairs instead of escalators.”

Customer: “But I need to go upstairs, and you do don’t have any ‘up’ stairs. Are you trying to trap people here?”

Me: “You know what? Let me show you the lift”.

Age Before Cutie

| Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA | Uncategorized

(This happened about 6 or 7 years ago when I was a teenager. I had long hair then and sometimes wore it in pigtails. I’m finishing up a transaction with a customer.)

Customer: “Aw, I just love your hair! It looks so cute!”

Me: “Thanks! I like wearing it up like this, but it makes me look younger than I am. I get called ‘hun’ and ‘sweetheart’ a lot when it’s up.”

Customer: *gasps* “Now you listen here! I’m one of those ones who calls people ‘hun’ and I don’t like your attitude. You need to learn to take a compliment and not be such a brat!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: *grabs her stuff out of my hands, marches away, and slams the door behind her*

It’s Difficult To Make It Any Simpler

| Nashville, TN, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, this is *** how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I just bought a Xbox 360 and it doesn’t work.”

Me: “Could you describe the problem ma’am?”

Caller: “It won’t turn on. I took it out of the box and it won’t turn on.”

Me: “Are all the cables plugged into the system TV and wall outlet?”

Caller: “I have to plug it in?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It will not work unless it is plugged in.”

Caller: “How do I do that?”

(I go through the steps of connecting the AV cables and the power plug.)

Caller:  “It still won’t turn on.”

Me: “Did you push the power button?”

Caller: “What’s that?”

Me: “The big round button on the front of the console.”

Caller: “I don’t know why you make these machines so difficult to use!” *hangs up*

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