Let The Flamewars Commence

| Stockton, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to buy a PS3.”

Me: “That’s great. Which one would you like?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, I have an 80GB and a 160GB available.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “One has twice the memory of the other.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “One system can store two times the amount of data as the other.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “The 160GB system can hold twice the amount of songs, videos and game saves.”

Customer: “Well, what is the difference between the two?”

Me: “One system has twice the memory of the other.”

Customer: “Can they both play PS3 games?”

Me: “Yes, sir…”

Customer: “Then what is the difference between the two?”

(This went on for awhile. He ended up buying an Xbox 360.)

I Can See Clearly Now The Brain Is Gone

| Saarland, Germany | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “I need binoculars.”

(I show him a selection of binoculars.)

Customer: “No, no, no. Not one of these. I want one with a magnification of fifty or so.”

Me: “I’m sorry, there are no binoculars with a magnification of fifty.”

Customer: “Are you saying I’m wrong? I’m an engineer. I have two diplomas. Two! I know how things work, thank you!”

(He grabs one of the binoculars, holds it the wrong way round and looks through it.)

Customer: “This one’s broken!”

Solid Answer

| PA, USA | Uncategorized

(Our store phrase is “filled with love” and is printed on all of our products.)

Customer: “So‚Ķ. if I bite into this… Will love pour out?”

Me: “No, it’s solid love.”

Closing The Barn Door After The Barn Has Burned Down

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “I want to return this toaster.”

Me: “Alright, ma’am, was there something wrong with it?”

Customer: “There’s a hole in the plug!”

Me: “Oh, that’s a safety feature with this brand. It’s so when you unplug it you’re not tugging on the cord itself.”

Customer: “Why does it matter? ”

Me: “Well, tugging on the cord can fray the wires and increase the risk of electric shock or electrical fire.”

Customer: “That’s stupid. I didn’t buy the toaster to protect me from fire. That’s what smoke detectors are for!”

Related:
Closing The Barn Door After The Udders Have Gotten Out

Please Do Not Lather Up The Employees

| Sydney, Australia | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, dear, can you help me?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “I want a body wash that doesn’t have soap in it.”

Me: “Sure. There are a few different types of this brand here, that does not contain soap.”

Customer: “But which one doesn’t contain soap?”

Me: “None of them do, madam. The entire range doesn’t contain any soap in their products.”

Customer: “I want one without soap. What about this one?” *picks up a bottle*

Me: “Yes, that’s one without soap.”

Customer: “Oh. Does it lather up?”

Me: “I haven’t tried this brand, but it’s popular. It’s also about 40% off, so now’s a good time to try it.”

Customer: “Well, you should have tried it so i know whether or not it lathers up! Next time I come in, I want you to have tried it so I know whether or not it lathers up!”

Related:
Please Do Not Creep Out The Employees
Please Do Not Titillate The Employees
Please Do Not Pet The Employees

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