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    Love On A Budget

    | Southington, CT, USA |

    Me: “Can i help you find something?”

    Customer: “I want to get a Nintendo DS for my grandson.”

    Me: “Alright, they’re $129. What color would you like?”

    Customer: “They’re how much?! I love him, but not that much!”

    Steam Cleaner On Elm Street

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    Customer: ¬†”Can you show me where the carpet cleaning stuff is?”

    Me: ¬†”Sure, right here.” *leads him to the aisle*

    Customer: ¬†”Which one is good for getting blood out of carpet?”

    Me: “Well, this brand works well for spots. How much blood are we talkin’ here?”

    Customer: ¬†”About a bucket full…”

    Me: “You may want to rent a carpet cleaner…”

    Numa Numa Meets The Beaches Of Normandy

    | Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, Canada |

    (I overheard two cashiers talking about World of Warcraft while an older female customer and her husband approached them.)

    Cashier #1: “My guild went on a big raid last night but didn’t complete it.”

    Cashier #2: “You weren’t able to kill the boss?”

    Cashier #1: “No, the boss was really tough to kill; we’re going to try again tomorrow.”

    Customer: *to husband* “We should call a manager–I can’t believe these kids are talking about killing their boss!”

    Cashier #2: “Oh no, ma’am, it’s a video game called World of Warcraft. You go on adventures to kill monsters, and the big ones are called ‘bosses’.”

    Customer: “I don’t care about your ‘World War’ game. No wonder there is so much violence in this world – video games teaching kids to kill their bosses!”

    Cashier #1: “It’s not ‘World War,’ ma’am, it’s World of Warcraft, and it’s not teaching us violence…”

    Customer: “I don’t care what it’s called. My husband fought in a real world war and he can tell you, violence is not a game! Right, Richard?

    Customer’s husband: *distracted* “Huh?”

    Customer: “Forget it. C’mon, we’re never coming back to this place. One of these kids is bound to shoot the place up.”

    On The Politically Proper Placement of Puzzles

    , | Mesa, AZ, USA |

    Customer: “THIS STORE IS RACIST! YOU ARE RACIST!”

    Me: *confused* “Um… why?”

    Customer: “Your Native American puzzles are on the bottom shelf! I demand to speak to your manager!

    Me: “Okay, go ahead. I’m the manager on duty.”

    Customer: “This is an insult to me that your Native American puzzles are on the lower shelf. This is racism!”

    Me: “So, I’m a racist because the Native American puzzles are on the bottom shelf…”

    (I look at the shelf and notice some animal puzzles on the very bottom shelf.)

    Me: “Well, I hope PETA doesn’t find these puppy puzzles down here then.”

    Customer: *storms off*

    Coming Soon: Laptop Loofas

    , | Philadelphia, PA, USA |

    Customer #1: “This cell phone doesn’t work anymore. I want you to replace it.”

    Me: “When did it stop working?”

    Customer #1: “After I brought it in the shower.”

    Me: “If it got wet, it’s probably not going to work at all, and it won’t be covered by the warranty.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t understand. If it doesn’t work anymore, you’re supposed to replace it. It should work in the shower.”

    Me: “Well, no. Like any piece of electronics, it’s not going to work if you get it wet. Would you bring your laptop in the shower?”

    Customer #2: *interjecting* “I bring my laptop into the shower all the time.”

    Me: *facepalm*

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