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    So Much For Being Patriotic

    | Adelaide, Australia |

    Customer: “I’m looking for a clock radio.”

    Me: “Certainly. Our clock radios are over on these shelves here. Is there any particular style or brand you’re looking for?”

    Customer: “This one looks alright. It’s made here, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, I believe that one is manufactured in China.”

    Customer: “S***, you’re kidding! Well, what about this one?”

    Me: “That’s also a [electronics brand], ma’am; that’s also made in China.”

    Customer: “S***, I DON’T WANT ANY BLOODY CHINESE S***. SHOW ME ONE THAT ISN’T CHINESE!”

    Me: “Well, this particular model over here is a [another reputable electronics brand], with all of the same functions.”

    Customer: “Not from China?”

    Me: “No, this one’s made in Japan.”

    Customer: “S***, I TOLD YOU I DON’T WANT ANY F****** CHINESE GARBAGE! *points to first radio* “Just give me that one there.”

    Me: “Uh… ma’am, that one is made in China, and the last one wasn’t…”

    Customer: “DO YOU THINK I GIVE A S***?!”

    Well Played, Indeed, Part 2

    | Orange County, CA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [costume store], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, do you guys have costumes?”

    Me: *sarcastically* “No, I’m afraid we’re a tax accounting service.”

    Customer: “Oh. Can I write off a costume rental on my taxes?”

    Related:
    Well Played, Indeed

    Bagging For Trouble

    , | Ontario, Canada |

    (I was standing in line behind a group of girls who had bought a pack of pencils.)

    First girl: “Can we get a bag?”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, I’ve already given you one. I’m afraid I can’t give you another.”

    Second girl: “Why not? The woman ahead of us got three bags!”

    Cashier: “Yes, and all three of them were full. I can’t give you another bag.”

    First girl: “That is bull****! You gave her all those bags and can’t fork over one more for me?! ”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry… no, I can’t. She needed the bags for the items she purchased. ”

    (The third girl grabs a pack of gum and throws it on the counter.)

    Third girl: “Fine. If we get this, can we get another bag?”

    Cashier: “No, you can fit that in your first bag. There are other customers wait–”

    First girl: “F*** you! You’re just doin’ this ‘cuz we’re teenagers! This is age discrimination!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, but–”

    Second girl: “We want to see your manager!”

    Cashier: “I need to help other customers in line. I’m sorry I can’t–”

    First girl: “You need to help me, b****! I’m asking you for a bag!”

    Cashier: “Store policy is–”

    Second girl: “We don’t give a s*** about your store policy! Just give us a d***ed bag!”

    (I was in a hurry and by this time I just wanted to get out. Figuring any plastic bag would do, I emptied one that I had already.)

    Me, to the girls: “Here, you can have this one. I don’t need it.”

    Third girl: “Excuse me? Did I ask YOU for help?”

    Me: “No, but if it’s a plastic bag you want, I honestly don’t need it.”

    Second girl: “Would you mind your own business?”

    Elderly woman behind me: “Jumping Jesus, young lady, it’s a plastic bag! You could find one in a garbage can if you wanted it that badly!”

    Moms: Gotta Love ‘Em

    | Texas, USA |

    (My mother told me this story, which happened to her as a cashier when she was in college.)

    My mom: “Are you going to pay for that other Coke?”

    Male customer: “What Coke?”

    My mom: “… The one in your pants?”

    Male customer: “That’s not a Coke, that’s my penis!”

    My mom: “If that’s your penis, I am going home with you right now!”

    Male customer: *slams coke on the counter and walks out*

    Related:
    Grannies: Gotta Love ‘Em
    Dads: Gotta Love ‘Em

    Fibbing Fail

    | Denver, CO, USA | Top

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to return this d*** camera.”

    Me: “Sure, was it not working?”

    Customer: “I just don’t want it, okay?”

    Me: “Okay. Have you opened the box yet?”

    Customer: “Why does that matter?”

    Me: “Well, as the sticker on the box says, if the box is opened and you return it, I have to charge you a restocking fee.”

    Customer: “Oh. No… no, it hasn’t been opened.”

    (I look and the box has been clearly opened, with a torn seal.)

    Me: “Uh… are you sure it hasn’t been opened?”

    Customer: ¬†”LOOK! ARE YOU CALLING ME A F***ING LIAR? Where is your manager?¬†I spend hundreds of thousands of dollars here and this is how I’m treated?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you just–”

    Customer: “THESE PEOPLE CALL CUSTOMERS LIARS! DON’T SHOP HERE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I believe you! I will return it!”

    Customer: “That’s right you will!”

    Me: “Can I see your receipt?”

    Customer: “It’s in the box.”

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