Featured:
  • Holy Guacamole, Get Off The Phone!
    (1,595 thumbs up)
  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Byte Off More Than You Can Chew

    , | United Kingdom | Top

    Me: “Good morning, what can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Well, a few of my friends have been talking about this ‘internet’ thing. Is it any good?”

    Me: “Yes, it is very useful. I use it all the time.”

    Customer: “Oh, good.” *pulls something from his pocket*

    Customer: “Could you put it on to this floppy disc for me, please?”

    Me: “The entire Internet?”

    Customer: “Yes, please!”

    Confusing Crosses With Crossbones

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Uncategorized

    (An older customer comes out of the fitting room wearing a black and red striped shirt with designs that look like piles of skulls.)

    Customer: “I just think that this is so cute. What do you think?”

    Me: “That’s a really interesting choice for a blouse.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know. I just think these little flower designs are so pretty!”

    Me: “Ma’am, those are actually skulls.”

    (The customer looks a bit closer at the shirt before finally realizing what she is wearing.)

    Customer: “Oh my Lord, I was planning on wearing this to church!”

    Economic Recession For Dummies

    | Canandaigua, NY, USA | Uncategorized

    (I’m ringing out a customer at my register. He hands me a 10 dollar bill for his total of $5.22, but my hand slips on the decimal button, and the computer reads the cash amount as $522.00.)

    Me: “Whoops, sorry about that sir.”

    (I quickly calculate the correct change and hand it to him.)

    Customer: “Hey, you didn’t give me the right change.”

    Me: “I didn’t? That’s strange, I thought I had it right.”

    Customer: “It says here my change is $516.78, you only gave me $4.78″

    Me:“Oh, right! I accidentally put the decimal in the wrong place. Sorry about that.”

    (I hold out his bag of merchandise for him but he doesn’t budge.)

    Customer: “…Well? Aren’t you going to give me the rest of my change?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not allowed to just give out money.”

    Customer: (Brandishing receipt.) “But it says right here that my change is $516.78!”

    Me: “Sir, it also says that you gave me $522.00…”

    (Customer snatches up his merchandise and leaves.)

    Literally Dog Eared

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Uncategorized

    (A customer hands me really tattered and torn CD.)

    Customer: “I‚Äôd like to exchange this CD for another copy. It doesn‚Äôt play.

    Me: “What on earth have you done with it?”

    Customer: “Well, since there obviously was something wrong with the CD, I gave it to my dog to play with. You‚Äôre just going to return it right, so who cares about what condition it‚Äôs in?”

    Hailing Frequencies Open But Nobody’s Home

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

    (My brother runs a company that sells sci-fi and fantasy memorabilia. A customer came up to the table and started inspecting a replica Star Trek communicator.)

    Customer: “So does this actually work?”

    Me: “Oh, yes. When you flip it open, it lights up and plays
    authentic sound effects.”

    Customer: “No, no, I mean, does it actually communicate with the Enterprise?”

    Me: *joking* “Well, the ship would be out of range if it wasn’t in orbit.”

    Customer: *serious* “Oh, right!”

    Page 340/455First...338339340341342...Last