Un-Four-tunate Inch-uendo

, | Portland, OR, USA | Top

(I am selling a TV to a middle aged man and his wife.)

Me: “So it’s between the 32 and the 36 inch TV, right?”

Husband: “Yes, but I don’t understand the difference between them.”

Me: “Well, they have the same specs all the way down the line. One is just bigger.”

Husband: “Who in the h*** would pay almost $350 more for four more inches?”

Wife: “I would!”

Not On The Cutting Edge

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Uncategorized

(I receive the following call while working at a home decor store.)

Me: “Hello, [store name], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you have table pads?”

Me: “Yes, we have custom ones, and we have ones you can buy here and cut yourself to fit your table.”

Customer: “Okay, how much are the ones you cut?”

Me: “$12.97.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll be in. Thanks.”

(A little while passes and the caller comes in.)

Customer: Hi, I called about the table pads. Could you show me where they are?

Me: “Sure, they’re right over here.” *takes them to the pads*

Customer: “Okay, thanks. I need it to be 14 by 11, so when are you going to cut it?”

Me: “I don’t cut it in the store. You have to cut it at home to fit your table.”

Customer: “You said you cut it here!”

Me: “No, I said you cut it yourself to fit the table.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know how to do that!”

Me: “You just lay it on the table and cut around the shape of the table.”

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to use to cut it?! I don’t have a special table pad cutting machine!”

Me: “How about scissors?”

Customer: “Oh…okay, I’ll take it.”

A Wii Bit Confused

, | Sydney, Australia | Uncategorized

(A customer hands me a Wii accessory.)

Customer: “Do I need this?”

Me: “Not really. That’s up to you, how often do you play with your Wii?”

Customer: “Do I have a Wii?”

Me: “I don’t know, do you?”

Customer: “…oh…” *wanders off*

Please Press Any Brain Cell To Continue

| Bakersfield, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Alright, and can I have your zip code, please?”

Customer: “Sure.”

Customer: *really, really long pause*

Customer: *customer looks back at cashier, still waiting*

Customer: *still silent*

Customer’s son: “Mom.”

Customer: “What?”

Customer’s son: “She asked for the zip code.”

Customer: “I know. I told her she could have it!”

Customer’s son: *says the zip code*

Customer: “Oh! I didn’t realize she wanted me to give it to her!”

Can’t Cedar Forest For The Trees

| Westchester, OH, USA | Top

Customer: “These Christmas trees all look so fake! I want to get one fresh from the Everglades!”

(I chuckle, and then realize he is serious.)

Me: “Sir, the Everglades aren’t exactly known for there Christmas trees.”

Customer: “Oh yeah! I forgot, it’s all frozen.”

Me: “No sir, the Everglades are in the middle of Florida.”

Customer: “Oh, well I was never good at geometry anyway.”

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