Featured:
  • Raise A Broken Glass To That Employee
    (1,512 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Looking For A Bullseye In A Haystack

    | Coon Rapids, MN, USA | Uncategorized

    (I work at a major big box retailer known for its employees that wear red shirts and khaki pants.)

    Customer: “I lost my credit card!”

    Me: “What is your name and what kind of card is it?”

    (The customer gives that information and I check the lost and found.)

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I don’t have it here. Do you know where you lost it?”

    Customer: “At the checkout.”

    Me: “Do you remember which one? Do you have your receipt? That would help me figure it out.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Do you remember who helped you?”

    Customer: “Well, she was wearing a red shirt…”

    Elixirs Of Everlasting Life Are On Aisle 5

    | Evansville, IN, USA | Uncategorized

    (While ringing up a customer, the computer flags cold medicine and asks for age verification.)

    Me: “Sir, I need to verify your date of birth.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “You’re trying to buy medicine and I just need your date of birth to confirm you are over the age of 18.”

    Customer: “Oh. April 20th, 1420.”

    Me: “Sir, I really need your actual birth date to continue.”

    Customer: “4-20-1420. Put it in.”

    (I enter the date. The system accepts. I look in disbelief.)

    Customer: “Told you.”

    Candid Camera, Candid Answer

    | England, UK | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello there, can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like some batteries for my camera.”

    Me: “Okay, what does it take?”

    Customer: “Pictures.”

    Thou Shalt Not Wear Boot Cut

    | Michigan, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss. These jeans just don’t seem to fit right.”

    Me: “Well these are men’s jeans. We have plenty of women’s jeans over here, in the women’s department. Is there a size I can help you find?”

    Customer: “You mean I just tried on men’s jeans?” *horrified look*

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. These are men’s jeans. This is the men’s department.”

    Customer: “OH MY GOD! The Bible forbids women to wear men’s clothes! I’m going to h***!”

    Me: “I’m sure you’ll be fine. You didn’t know. God won’t be angry.”

    Customer: “That’s what you think. You obviously don’t know God then.” *storms off*

    No Flirting A-Loud

    | Midland, MI, USA | Uncategorized

    (I’m scanning out an elderly couple. The man is obviously hard of hearing.)

    Me: “Hello, and how are you folks today?”

    Customer: “You look so young. Why is that?”

    Me: “I’m only 19.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Customer’s wife: “SHE SAYS SHE’S NINETEEN!”

    Customer: “Oh…do you have a boyfriend?”

    Me: “I’m engaged, actually.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Customer’s wife: “SHE SAYS SHE’S ENGAGED!”

    Customer: “Oh…do you want to go out with me sometime?”

    Me: “Uh…here, I’ll just finish scanning your items for you.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Customer’s Wife: “SHE TURNED YOU DOWN!”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

    Page 338/471First...336337338339340...Last