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  • Always Right, Even When They’re Not Your Customer

    | Madison, Wisconsin, USA |

    Caller: “I’m having a problem with this adapter. Can you help me out?”

    Me: “I can certainly try. Can you describe it for me?”

    Caller: “Well, it hooks up to a TV and it has these two things coming off of it… I don’t really know how to explain it.”

    Me: “Well… maybe you can tell me what it does? I can go and grab a box off of the shelf and take a look at it.”

    Caller: “I still have the package. Would it help if I read off the model number?”

    Me: “That would be great.”

    (The customer reads me a model number that is longer than anything I have ever seen in my department and it occurs to me…)

    Me: “Sir, I don’t recognize that number. Did you buy this adapter at our store?”

    Caller: “No, you guys didn’t have it so I went to Circuit City instead.”

    Me: “Sir, I cannot help you with an item we don’t sell.”

    Caller: “Well, THANKS a LOT!” *click*

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    Always Right, Even When They Change Your God-Given Name

    Introducing The Xbox Air

    , | Cortlandt Manor, NY, USA |

    (Note: this was the holiday season that the Xbox 360 came out.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I would like to purchase the “Box 360″.”

    Me: “Oh, the Xbox 360. Well, unfortunately we do not have any more left in store to sell you.”

    Customer: *pointing at display box* “Then what is this? Are you lying to me? Is it because I’m old that you think you can get away with this?!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. Those boxes are for display purposes only.”

    Customer: “Well, I want one right now.”

    Me: “We don’t have any in stock, but I can special order one for–”

    Customer: “Now listen here, you idiot! I see this box right here and I want to buy my son the Box 360!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t sell you a display box. The only thing I can do is special order you one. However, I can guarantee it will be there before Christmas.”

    Customer: “I will take this Box 360 and I am not paying for it!”

    (The customer suddenly throws the display box, resulting in security coming over.)

    Me, to the little boy with her: “Is she usually like that?”

    Little Boy: “Yes, and if she would listen I wanted a PS2!”

    I Sense Another Frivolous Lawsuit, Part 2

    , | El Paso, TX, USA |

    (My checkout is right at the top of the escalators, with four kids ranging in age from about 7-13 were playing on them.)

    Me: “Guys, please don’t play on the escalators, you could get hurt.”

    (The kids go away for all of a minute, then return.)

    Me: “I asked you to please stop playing on the escalator.”

    (A woman emerges from a display a few yards away.)

    Customer: “Don’t tell my kids what to do!”

    Me: “Ma’am, then please keep them away from the escalators, its dangerous.”

    Customer: “Don’t tell me what to do!”

    (Just then, one of her little kids falls down the escalator.)

    Me: “You were saying, ma’am?”

    Customer: *storms off*

    Related: I Sense Another Frivolous Lawsuit

    An Unsalvageable Lie

    | Ottawa, Canada |

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this. *hands me a metal, foot-operated garbage bin*

    Me: “Sure, I’ll need the receipt please.”

    Customer: “I don’t have it.”

    Me: “OK, is there any reason why you’re returning it?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my wife didn’t want it.”

    Me: “Did you use it?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (I open it to find an old dirty sock.)

    Me: “Sir, I can’t take this. There’s a dirty sock in there.”

    Customer: “That was already in there.”

    Me: “…”

    When Men Were Men & Electronics Were Multi-Taskers

    , | British Columbia, Canada |

    (A mother and son are finishing up their purchase.)

    Me: “Will that be all for you guys today?”

    Customer: “Well…do you have meetings here with your staff? Like ones where everyone can talk?”

    Me: “Sometimes…”

    Customer: “I want you to tell them I don’t like these new TVs, the flat screens and the plasmas. I want the old TVs back. You should tell them that.”

    Me: “The old TVs?”

    Customer: “I remember when TVs were like furniture. You could use them to put a plant on, or a lamp, and they were square and wood-paneled. TVs were better then.”

    Son: “Mom, I like the new plasma and LCD TVs. They’re really cool!”

    Customer: “No! They aren’t! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” *to me* “Now, you lady, you should tell them that for me! Tell them I want furniture back! And I’m not the only one!”

    (She then proceeded to walk around the store, going off about technology, and how the old stuff was better. Her poor son was embarrassed the whole time.)

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