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    Victoria’s Secret Is Out

    | Texas, USA | Top

    Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to return this.” *pulls out a bra from a bag*

    Me: “Ok, is there something wrong with it?”

    Customer: Well yeah, duh. I wouldn’t be returning it if it was fine, would I?!”

    Me: “Ok – what is the reason you are returning it?”

    Customer: “It squeaks…”

    Me: “The bra…? The bra squeaks?”

    Customer: “Yes, it makes noises.”

    Me: “The bra makes noises?”

    (By this time everyone standing in line starts laughing at her and making comments.)

    Customer: “Shut up! Don’t you dare laugh at me – inferior creatures!”

    (People in line now really start to laugh.)

    Me: “Ok ma’am, I’m really sorry the bra makes noises, but I cannot return this, you’ve worn it. You can’t return an–”

    Customer: *interrupting* “LORD! Give me patience! Or I will strangle this creature of yours! Now, Mr. A**hole, you are going to give me my money back for this thing. I cannot be walking around with a talking bra on me – people will think I’m nuts!”

    But How Do They Squeeze Him Into This Tiny Little Case

    , , | Buffalo, NY, USA |

    (A customer comes up to the counter with a DVD.)

    Me: “You all set?”

    Customer: “Is this a Rick James DVD?”

    Me: “Yes, it is.”

    Customer: “So you mean I can put this in my DVD player and look at Rick James!?”

    Me: “Yes, I believe that is the technology.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m gonna have to try it out, man!”

    Satan Needs The Nougat

    | Florida, USA |

    (A mother and her young son come up to me, each with their own items to buy. I finish ringing up the mother and start with the little boy.)

    Mother: *to son* “Isn’t it nice to buy your toys with your own money?”

    Son: “Yeah.”

    (The son begins to reach over the conveyor belt for some candy.)

    Mother: “Oh, you don’t need that. Put it back.”

    Me: *to the boy* “Your total is $6.66.”

    Mother: “Oh, no, no, no! Buy that candy!”

    Customer Of The Week

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story

    Store – Bad Customer = Happy

    | New Jersey, USA |

    (This incident happened right before we closed on Christmas Eve. A woman has purchased a shirt and a pair of pants. I ring her purchase and tell her the total.)

    Me: “That’ll be $39.98.”

    Customer: “WHAT? No, no, no. That’s not right. No. How much was the shirt?”

    Me: “$12.99. The pants were $26.99.”

    Customer: “NO THEY WEREN’T! They were $12.99, just like the pants! I got them from right over THERE!” *violently stabs her finger in the direction of the rack*

    Me: *sighs* “Ok, hold on one second, ma’am… I’ll check.

    Customer: *to coworker* “I’m about to put this b**** on blast, you watch.”

    (I read the sign and confirm that the shirts on one side of the rack are $12.99, but the pants on the other are $26.99. This is also written out on the sale sign.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but the sign says right here that the pants are $26.99.”

    Customer: “What?! Well how was I supposed to know that? I saw $12.99 so I thought $12.99! I don’t read letters, I only read numbers!”

    Me: “…well, our signs have both letters and numbers, and you have to read both to understand the sale.”

    Customer: “No way am I paying $26.99 for these pants! Change it!”

    Me: “Well, it’s not our error, ma’am. The sign is correctly written and posted on the correct rack, even in the correct position. There’s nothing I can do.”

    Customer: *slapping counter* “FINE. There’s no reason why I should have to read signs! I only read numbers, not letters!”

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