Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,330 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Salvation Vs. Business Savvy

    | Tampa, FL, USA |

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a metal business card case.”

    Me: “Well, we really only carry leather here – would you like me to show them to you?”

    Customer: “No, it needs to be metal. Where can I get one?”

    Me: “Well, I know of a place in the mall, but they market them as cigarette cases. If you just ask the man at the counter for one, he can–”

    Customer: *interrupting* “I ain’t buying no cigarette case, I ain’t no smoker.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you they’re not used or anything, it’s just that the original concept came from cigarette cases, and people adapted them into wallets.”

    Customer: “Well, I ain’t buyin no cigarette case, so you best tell me where I can get a business card case.”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s the only place I know of. They’re the exact same product: a metal case with two prongs on the inside for–”

    Customer: “I ain’t no heathen woman, and I ain’t gonna carry around no wicked cigarette box while I’m at church! Do you expect me to?!”

    Me: “No ma’am, I just don’t think you’ll find one at that store if you’re asking for a business card case.”

    Customer: “No, you WON’T!” *storms out*

    Me: “…what?”

    Why You Never, Ever Share Toothbrushes

    | Dallas, TX, USA |

    Customer: “I need to return this toothbrush.”

    Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

    Customer: “No – I thought it would work.”

    Me: “How did it not work?”

    Customer: “Well, it said it had indicator bristles, and when I peed on them they didn’t change color! How is it supposed to indicate if I’m pregnant or not?!”

    Me: “Ma’am…they’re to indicate whether the toothbrush needs replacing, not whether you’re pregnant.”

    Customer: *looks sheepish and leaves*

    Me: *to manager* “I’m going on break now…”

    Customer Of The Week: Good Help

    | Terrace, British Columbia, Canada | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week:  Good Help
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story

    A Swing And A Miss

    , | Saskatchewan, Canada |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****. How may I direct your call?”

    Caller: “Electronics, please.”

    Me: “We’re an electronics store, ma’am. Could you be more specific?”

    Caller: “Umm…just one moment.”

    (She hangs up. Five minutes later, she calls back.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****. How may I direct your call?”

    Caller: “Electronics DEPARTMENT, please.”

    Me: “…”

    The Lesser Of Two Evils

    | Canada |

    Customer: *holding an ugly teapot* “The stuff on that shelf *pointing* is 75% off. Can I get this teapot for 75% off?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that discount only applies to items that were damaged during shipping.”

    Customer: “Look, I’m buying a lot of stuff here. I think I should get a discount on this teapot.”

    Me: “But it’s not broken. You only get a discount if it’s broken.”

    Customer: “You’re not being very helpful. You have to be able to do something for me here.”

    Me: “I could take it into the stock room and smash it for you. Then I could sell it to you at the discounted price. I’m sure you could glue it back together when you get home.”

    Customer: *thinking it over* “No…no, I don’t think so.”

    Page 335/408First...333334335336337...Last