2D Thoughts For 1D Minds

| Norwood, MA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, why are these towels $4.99, but the others $6.99?”

Me: “The $6.99 towels are 6 feet long, and the $4.99 towels aren’t.”

Customer: “But why are they different prices?”

Me: “That’s because one is longer than the other.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand”

Customer’s Friend: “One is a bath sheet.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Customer’s Friend: “It’s 6 feet long. The other one is 4 feet long.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense!”

Laptop Flop

| Oklahoma, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to purchase a laptop but want to customize it a little bit.”

Me: “Okay, great I can help you with that!” (I pulled up her account, pull up the laptop that she wants to customize.)

Customer: “Okay, I want 3gb of memory, 160gb hard-drive, oh and also, can you please move the ‘delete’ key next to the space bar? I hate having to go to the top of the keyboard to press that.”

An Open(ed) and Shut Case

| Minnesota, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I need to return this DVD player.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We actually can’t do a return on opened merchandise.”

Customer: “This isn’t open.”

Me: “It’s been opened and re-taped.”

Customer: “Why would you think that?”

Me: “Because no manufacturers use duct tape to seal boxes.”

Customer: “So you’re calling me a liar?”

Me: “I’m not trying to, but this has obviously been opened and re-taped and therefore can’t be returned.”

Customer: “What do you know? Where’s your manager?”

(I call my manager and he tells the customer the same things I told her and points out the duct tape. She starts cursing and pounding her fist the counter. My manager finally gives in just to get the customer out of the store. 20 minutes pass and the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you calling ****. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I returned a DVD player 20 minutes ago and forgot my DVD in it.”

It’s Either Bob Barker Blue Or Drew Carey Blue

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [cosmetics], this is ***, how may I help you today?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m looking for a nail polish.”

Me: “Okay, what kind?

Caller: “Did you watch The Price is Right the other day?”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Caller: “They had this blue car on there, and I want that color for my nail polish.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t see it. Could you tell me what type of blue this was? Perhaps a medium or bright blue?”

Caller: “It was a car blue.”

Me: “I see. I’m not sure what that means, so I can’t really help you. You could always come in and look around.”

Caller: “Well, how many blues do you have? I don’t want to waste my time!”

Me: “We have many different choices, ma’am.”

Caller: “Right, but I want the blue from The Price Is Right!”

One Should Learn From Mistakes So That They Are Not Receipted

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(I’ve just finished ringing up a customer.)

Customer: “Oh, and I don’t need a receipt.”

Me: “Alright, here you go. Have a nice day!”

(About 20 minutes later, the customer comes back.)

Customer: “I bought the wrong figure! I need to make an exchange!”

Me: “All refunds and exchanges are done at Customer Service. Good thing I held on to your receipt!”

(I hand him his receipt and he went to Customer Service. He gets his refund, then comes back to my register with a different toy.)

Customer: “Alright, this was what I wanted to buy! Oh, and I don’t need a receipt.”

(This time, I put his receipt in the bag without saying a word.)

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