October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

One Nation, Under God, Period

| South Dakota, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you have anything made in Tennessee?”

Me: “It’s quite possible.”

Customer: “Well, what about Illinois?”

Me: “Maybe.”

Customer: “What about New Jersey?”

Me: “I’m not sure…you may find something.”

Customer: “But your sign says you sell goods from over 50 countries! That’s all of them!”

Me: “That’s states. It’s 50 countries outside the US.”

Customer: *baffled look* “Out…side?”

Totally Flunked That One

| Oxford, UK | Uncategorized

(I am working in a cafe near one of the main halls for University examinations, for which the students have to wear full robes. Every time an exam finishes, the students come out and celebrate with champagne and confetti.)

Tourist: “Excuse me, what time is the next show?”

Me: “I’m sorry? There’s a theatre round the corner from here. They might be able to help you.”

Tourist: “No, the next University show. With the costumes and everything.”

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not a performance. Those are the University’s students, and they’re finishing their exams.”

Tourist: “So when will the next one finish? I want to bring my wife.”

In Need Of Humble Pi

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Top

Me: “Would you like to donate to [charity] today?”

Customer: “Okay. Round my total up to $30.”

(I pull out a calculator to figure out how much it is to round up to $30. Customer’s total is $25.78.)

Customer: “It’s sad that you need a calculator to figure that out. It’s $7.32.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, it’s $4.22.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Not About To Start A Revolution

| Barrie, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(A young female customer is paying for a work order. Her friends are nearby.)

Me: “The tech also recommends a tire rotation.”

Customer: “Oh okay…is that something I could get a friend to do?”

Me: “If they’ve got a jack and the lug nut key, sure.”

(Her friends come over.)

Customer: *to another young female friend* “I have to rotate my tires.”

Customer’s friend: “I thought they did that when you drive?”

Cereally Stupid

| Long Island, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like to return this box of cereal. It tastes like it spoiled when I ate it. Here’s my receipt.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. We can’t take it back. You only have 90 days to return this item, and you bought it over 5 months ago.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I could have gotten sick from this!”

Me: *looks in box* “Ma’am, this is an empty box of cereal. Where’s the cereal?”

Customer: “I told you. I ate it!”

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