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    Someone’s About To Get Smacked To The Future

    | Rio Rancho, NM, USA | Top

    Coworker: “Yes, miss. I understand it’s an emergency, But let me ask my coworker. He probably knows what you’re looking for!”

    Me: “What’s going on?”

    Coworker: “This woman was sent in looking for an item. She said it’s called a … a … something capacitor.”

    Me: “Well, we don’t really carry any capacitors here. That’s more of a true electronics store thing.”

    Customer: “Please, it’s my son’s birthday and my husband says that we desperately need to find a 120 volt flux capacitor for my son’s Xbox!”

    Me: “Ma’am, unless you have a Mr. Fusion, I don’t know where you’re gonna need something like that.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? My husband said this was an emergency! I have been to 3 stores and no one knows what I’m talking about!”

    Me: *laughs* “Well, your husband sent you for a part to a time machine.”

    Customer: “I am going to kill that man!”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

    COD 4: Trout At War

    , | London, UK |

    (I witnessed from one of the checkout lines.)

    Customer: “Do you have COD 4?”

    Employee: “Call of Duty 4? Yes we–”

    Customer: “No, no, no, not Call of Duty 4. COD 4!”

    Employee: “Sir, COD 4 stands for Call of Duty 4…”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t! The customer is always right! Now bring me a copy of COD 4 right now!”

    Misery Loves, Demands And Harasses Company

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (A woman approaches the check-out, hauling her two kids with her.)

    Customer: “Ugh! Don’t ever have kids, they ruin your life!”

    Me: “Um, well, I don’t really plan to…”

    Customer: “What? Why not?”

    Me: “Um…I don’t know, I guess I don’t want any…”

    Customer: “What?! How old are you?”

    Me: “Twenty-three.”

    Customer: “What if you have an accident? Then you’ll HAVE to have them!”

    Cow Skulls For The Numbskulls

    , | Tennessee, USA |

    (A couple from up north comes into our tourist shop.)

    Female Customer: “Oh look, honey!”

    Husband: “Oh, wow!”

    Female Customer: *points to little ceramic cow skull* “Ooh, could I see that?”

    Me: “Sure…”

    Female Customer: “Ooh, this is sooo pretty! What do you call them?”

    Me: “Well, I call them ‘cow skulls.’”

    Female Customer: “Ohhh, honey! She says they’re called “cow skulls”!

    Please Don’t Pet The Employees

    | Dublin, Ireland |

    Customer: “Wow! you look so much like that guy!”

    Me: “Um…what guy, ma’am?”

    Customer: “You know! That rocker guy with that daughter and son.”

    Me: “Do you mean Ozzy Osbourne?”

    Customer: “Yeah! That guy.” *pauses* “You have such a great skin!”

    (The customer begins to grab my face.)

    Me: *starts pulling away* “Uh…ma’am, can you please stop touching my face?”

    Customer: “Why? Come back!”

    Manager: *coming out of his office* “Ma’am, please leave my store and stop harassing my staff!”

    Customer: “But…why can’t I touch his face?”

    Manager: “Out!”

    Related:
    Please Don’t Titillate The Employees
    Please Don’t Feed The Customers

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