Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,545 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    It’s For A Really Long Game Of Musical Chairs

    | Florida, USA |

    Man: “Hey! You guys are giving away 100 free tickets to the Friday show, right?”

    Me: “Yep! We have 24 left, and each customer can take up to four. How many do you need?”

    Man: “Awesome! Can I have the rest?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. The limit is four per customer.”

    Man: “But they’re free… what do you care?”

    Me: “I care that the line of people behind you get some as well. Would you like four tickets?”

    Man: “Give me the rest! You don’t understand, I NEED them!”

    Me: “Sir, the limit is four. I’m sorry.”

    Man: “I want the rest! You have to give them to me! I’m a paying customer and I deserve it!”

    Me: “The tickets are free, sir… and you can have four of them. Would you like four FREE tickets?”

    Man: “I need the rest of them! Everyone in my party needs to have one!”

    Me: “Well, I can offer you four tickets for free and a discount if you wish to buy more. How many people are in your party?”

    Man: “It’s just me and my wife.”

    Me: “…”

    Dora The Exploder

    | Connecticut, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like one of those balloons. The Dora one, please?”

    Me: “Sure thing!”

    Customer: “What do you fill those with? Propane?”

    Me: “(!?) Uh, no. Helium.”

    Customer: “Is it going to explode in my car?”

    Me: “No, it shouldn’t…”

    TMI Redux

    | Belgium |

    (An older woman in her 50s needed some help picking out a new MP3 player.)

    Me: “Okay, so you got any preferences?”

    Woman: “Well, do you have any that are waterproof?”

    Me: “Not really…”

    Woman: “I had one before, but it’s broken.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    Woman: “Yeah, it was my own fault though, I think.”

    Me: “How come?”

    Woman: “Well, I put it in here–” *points and looks at her breasts* “–while I was at the gym. I guess I was sweating a bit too much!”

    Me: “…”

    Related:
    Way Too Much Information
    TMI (Too Much Information)

    One Loses His Allowance, The Other His Immortal Soul

    | Kane, PA, USA |

    (I was in high school working at a dollar store. It’s a small town so Sundays are usually busy after church services. This man, his wife, and his young son were in line.)

    Me: “That will be $25.30.”

    Man: “I’ve only got $15… we gave twenty at the offering today. You think you could give me a break?”

    Man’s young son: *innocently* “We didn’t give any money at church today.”

    Who Needs History When You Have Hollywood

    | Myrtle Beach, SC, USA | Bigotry, History

    (A tourist walks up to my register with a handful of trinkets. I ring her up, she pays, I bag the items, and hand her the coin change. As she steps away, I see a dollar still on the counter.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you forgot the rest of your change.”

    Tourist: “Oh! I guess I did, unless you were paying me in pesos.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Tourist: “Pesos. The money in Mexico.”

    Me: “I know what a peso is, ma’am, but I’m not Mexican.”

    Tourist: “Puerto Rican?”

    Me: “Not even close.”

    Tourist: “Cuban?”

    Me: “No.”

    Tourist: “What are you, then?”

    Me: “I’m Native American.”

    Tourist: “So am I.” (She’s white as notebook paper.)

    Me: “No, I mean the people here before white people.”

    Tourist: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “You don’t know about Natives? Indians?”

    Tourist: “Oh, you mean the people John Wayne killed off.”

    Me: “Just take your change.”

    Related:
    … And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us


    Page 332/373First...330331332333334...Last