Redial By Fire

| Franklin, TN, USA | Top

Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I saw [doctor] last week, and was calling about my test results.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

(Not 5 seconds later, the phone rings again.)

Caller: “I saw [doctor] last week and was calling about my test results.”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid you’ve dialed the wrong number again.”

Caller: “This isn’t [doctor’s] office?”

Me: “No, sir, this is a women’s clothing store.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

(5 seconds later.)

Caller: “I saw [doctor] last week and was calling about my test results.”

Me: Sir, you’ve called [store] again.

Caller: “**** it! I’m calling the right number, why do you keep answering?”

Me: “Sir, the office number is very close to ours, so maybe when you’re dialing the numbers, you’ve been accidentally hitting a wrong key?”

Caller: “What numbers? I’ve been hitting redial!”

Undeveloped Mind

| Cranford, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “I am just calling to let you guys know you have pictures here that you dropped off in December.”

Customer: “I don’t have pictures there.”

Me: “Maybe we mislabeled the bag? The pictures are of a family of four celebrating Christmas? Two kids? Boy and girl?”

Customer: “That’s my family, but I don’t have pictures there. To be honest, I think you are trying to scam me into buying pictures I already bought and took home.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “This is the second time you’ve called. I already picked those up and brought them home. You stole those from me and printed them to get more money out of me!”

Me: “Are you saying I broke into your house?”

Customer: “Yes, and I’m calling the police now!”

Please See The Hypothetical Aisle

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer comes in looking for an item I knew we do not carry.)

Customer: “Where would I find a [item]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry that.”

Customer: *stares at me awhile* “Well, if you did carry it, what aisle would it be in?”

Cost In The Translation

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Top

(In the store we put on our own price tags, but customers have a bad habit of taking them off to get a lower price.)

Customer: “Hi, could I get a price on this?”

Me: “Sure.” *takes a look* “It’ll be $14.99.”

Customer’s daughter: *in Spanish* “Wow mom, that’s more expensive than the real tag!”

Customer: “No thanks.”

Me: *in Spanish* “Have a good day, and come back soon!” *wink*

Ah, Mothers, Part 4

| Staffordshire, UK | Uncategorized

(A lady comes running up to the till almost in tears, screaming that she has lost her daughter. I ask the lady for her daughter’s details. As a rule, we are not allowed to say the child’s name.)

Customer: “Just call her name!”

Me: “We can’t do that. How old is she and what is she wearing?”

Customer: “Just call her name! Please, I just need to find her. She’s lost. She’ll be scared.”

Me: “If you can tell us what she looks like and her age, we can put a call out for her and everybody in store can look out for her.”

Customer: “Just call her name will you! Stop being so cocky!”

Me: “We really aren’t supposed to put out names. If somebody finds your daughter, she is more likely to go off with them if they say her name.”

Customer: “Are you stupid? She is 37 years old! She isn’t going to go off with some stranger!”

Related:
Ah, Mothers, Part 3
Ah, Mothers, Part 2
Ah, Mothers

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