November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

They Cry Real Tears Too

| Keene, NH, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(I watch as a customer unfolds every single shirt at a table, holds it up, and then puts it back. She walks to the next table and I begin refolding the shirts.)

Customer: “Oh, wow!”

Me: “Is something wrong, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, nothing. I just didn’t realize they got real people to fold the shirts!”

You Gotta Be Flushing Kidding Me

| Chicago, IL, USA | Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you all have a public bathroom?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. It’s out of order.”

Customer: “What! What’s wrong with it?”

Me: “Well, someone clogged to toilet with paper towels and it doesn’t flush.”

Customer: “Well, can I use it and not flush?”

The Sun Is A Slacker Abroad

| Rutland, VT, USA | Technology, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi ma’am. Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “I am looking for a solar powered charger for my cell phone. Do you have anything like that?”

Me: “Yep, just follow me.”

Customer: “Also can you tell me which ones can work overseas?”

The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes, Part 2
The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes

When The Shoe Is On The Other Foot

| Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

(I’m shoe shopping, and I’ve taken off my own shoes to try on some other pairs. Another customer is browsing in the same aisle; she looks at my shoes and starts to try them on.)

Me: “Excuse me? Those are mine.”

Customer: “No, they’re not. I saw them first.”

Me: “No, I mean, I bought them a while ago. See, they don’t have price tags on them.”

(Ignoring me, she takes off my shoes, and calls over an employee.)

Customer: “Do you have these in size seven?”

Employee: “I’ve never seen these before. Do you have the box they were in?”

Me: “That’s because they’re mine. They’re not from here.”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “She keeps saying that, but I saw them first.”

Employee: “Uh, ma’am, she’s right. These are from [another shoe store].”

Customer: “Oh. Well, can I buy them here?”

Employee: *gives me back my shoes* “Sorry, no.”

Customer: “Well, if that’s how you treat your customers here, I’m leaving!”

(As she walks out, she stops to check out my bag on the floor.)

Me: “That’s mine, too.”

Fauxxx Pas

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, do you have coitus?”

Me: *pause* “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Coitus! Do you have coitus?!”

Me: “Alright, sir, I really hope I’m understanding you wrong, so I need you to say what you want a bit slower.”

(He thinks for a long time, then slowly says the word, drawing out every letter.)

Customer: “Curtains?”