• Raise A Broken Glass To That Employee
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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 2

    | South Wales, UK | Uncategorized

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’m after some Durex.”

    Me: “Durex? I’m sorry we don’t sell Durex.”

    Customer: “Not even for toys?”

    Me: “For toys?”

    Customer: “Duracell! Duracell batteries!”

    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
    You Got The Wrong(est) Item
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number

    Perhaps It’s Because You Drive A Hummmvee

    | New York, USA | Uncategorized

    (I have a sticker on my car that reads “Caution: Driver Singing”. I pulled up into work when a customer tapped me on the shoulder.)

    Customer: “Hey.”

    Me: “Um, hi?”

    Customer: “I thought so! You’re that girl with the singing bumper sticker, aren’t you?”

    Me: “Oh! Yes, I am.”

    Customer: “I passed you in the parking lot at yesterday. You weren’t singing.”

    Me: “Oh, well, I’ve had a sore throat.”

    Customer: *completely serious* “You should always be singing, you know.”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “In a car like that, you should always be singing so your sticker doesn’t lie!”

    Me: “Well, the other day when you passed me? I was humming.”

    Customer: *perfectly happy again* “Oh, really? Well, that’s alright then!”

    Yukon Spend It

    | British Columbia, Canada | Uncategorized

    Me: “Okay, your total is $189.14. Cash or credit?”

    Customer: “Cash.” *hands me $200 American*

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We don’t accept US currency.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because this is Canada.”

    Customer: “Last time I was in Canada I used American cash.”

    Me: “Well, sir, that place probably accepted different currencies. I can only accept Canadian.”

    Customer: “I don’t have any! I only have Visa.”

    Me: “We accept Visa.”

    Customer: “Wait! Let me get this straight: you won’t accept my American cash, but you’ll accept an American credit card?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (He throws the card at me. I swipe it through and he gathers his bags.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous. When did Canada get its own currency, anyway?”

    Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2
    Yukon See It On A Map

    Always Right, Unless There’s Not Enough Light, Part 2

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello there, sir. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for batteries for this calculator.”

    Me: “Okay, but just so you know, that calculator doesn’t really need batteries. It has little solar panels right on the front that power it.”

    Customer: “Solar panels? I want to use this calculator indoors!”

    Always Right, Unless There’s Not Enough Light

    Your Stupidity Has No Match

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I wanted to take advantage of your price match policy on this refrigerator.”

    (He hands me copy of competitor’s ad with said refrigerator.)

    Me: “Okay, do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “That’s okay, I can look it up.”

    (After utilizing several different ways to look up a receipt, I still haven’t found one.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m having a hard time finding your receipt and without that, I can’t give you your money.”

    Customer: “I haven’t bought the refrigerator from you.”

    Me: “Oh! Ok, so you want to purchase it and match the price?”

    Customer: “No! I purchased the refrigerator from [competitor’s store] and you have it cheaper, so I want you guys to pay me the difference.”

    Me: “So, let me get this straight. You bought a refrigerator from [competitor’s store] and we have it cheaper here, so you want me to give you money for a fridge that you didn’t purchase from here, and have no intentions of purchasing from here?”

    Customer: “Right! Your price match plus guarantee!”

    Me: “Ma’am, in order for us to give you the difference, you would have had to purchase the item from our store.”

    Customer: “That’s false advertising! You have to give me the money! I’m going to sue!”

    Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately we can’t just give you money for something you didn’t purchase from us.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Well, we wouldn’t make any money then and the company would go out of business.”

    Customer: “Like that’s my fault!” *storms out of store*

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