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  • Raise A Broken Glass To That Employee
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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Like Himself, His Answer Was Full Of Crap

    | Oregon, USA | Top

    Me: “Thanks for coming in today, sir. What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I can’t get this thing to work! I set up the password and now I can’t remember it.”

    Me: “Alright, that’s an easy fix. Let’s go to the site to reset your password.”

    (I guide the customer to the correct site and we get to the option to answer a secret question of the user’s choice. The question: ‘Am I a s***head?’)

    Customer: “Hmm…” *types ‘No’*

    Computer: “I’m sorry, the answer you have selected is incorrect. Please try again.”

    Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 2

    | Swansea, MA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Alright, is that everything, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I have a question.”

    (The customer holds up two packages of sliced ham.)

    Customer: “Does this have any pork in it?”

    Me: “Um, well, yes. Ham is a pork product.”

    Customer: “Both of them?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Okay, then I’m not getting them. I thought maybe you had the kind of ham that had turkey in it.”

    Related:
    Not To La-Boar The Point

    Logic That Doesn’t Hold Water

    | Green Brook, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

    (I recently sold a pool to an elderly customer. Right after the installers leave, she calls the store.)

    Customer: “Hi, may I speak with [me]?”

    Me: “This is [me], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I just had my pool installed today.”

    Me: “Oh yes, how did everything go? Are you satisfied with the job?”

    Customer: “Yes everything is perfect, but I was wondering what box the water came in? I think the delivery men may have forgotten it.”

    A Real Classic

    | Rochester, NY, USA | Top

    (I am a customer talking to a sales person when I am interrupted by another customer.)

    Customer: “Do you have any Beethoven?”

    Sales Person: “Certainly, our Classical section has quite a selection of Beethoven.”

    Customer: “Well, I couldn’t find any of Beethoven, only various orchestras performing Beethoven’s music. Don’t you have any live Beethoven?”

    Sales Person: “Well, no we don’t, and I don’t think you will manage to find that anywhere.”

    Customer: “Well I bet [other store] has it across the way.”

    Sales Person: “Well, I would doubt that, but you are welcome to check.”

    Customer: “Why don’t you think they will have it?”

    Me: (I just had to interrupt.) “Well, because everyone knows that all the live copies of Beethoven burned up in his estate fire.”

    Customer: “Well I didn’t know that. So if there are no live recordings anywhere, how do people know what it sounds like?”

    Me: “Well the sheet music was luckily printed on fireproof paper.”

    Customer: “Wow, they had fireproof paper back then?”

    Unsolved Mystery Shopper

    | Nashua, NH, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer walks up with a shirt.)

    Customer: “Is this what she was talking about?”

    Me: “Who?”

    Customer: “My daughter, is this what she was talking about?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

    Customer: “Why? I just want to know if this is what she was talking about.”

    Me: “Were you talking with me about clothing?”

    Customer: “No, I was talking to her at our house. Is this what she was talking about?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I wasn’t with you last night when you were talking with your daughter.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know. But, is this what she was talking about?”

    Me: “Yes, yes it was.”

    Customer: “Great! I’ll get it!”

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