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    Singleminded Surcharge

    | Madison, WI, USA |

    (I work in an electrical department. At this time, a woman is looking at a light display.)

    Me: “Are you finding everything alright?”

    Customer: “Yes. Where is this?”

    (I lead her to the box, on an end cap. It’s a two-fixtures-for-the-price-of-one thing.)

    Customer: “Oh, there’s two in there…”

    Me: “Yes. But the price is the same as on the display, so you get an extra for spare parts or whatever.”

    Customer: “Well, I only want one!”

    Me: “You can always just sell the spare on a garage sale or something. Or if you’re like me, you might break the glass someday and so you’ll have a spare.”

    Customer: “I only want one!”

    Me: “…”

    (The customer proceeded to pick out a nearly-identical looking fixture that was about three times the price–all because she only wanted one.)

    Living On The Edge, Part 2

    , , | Philadelphia, PA, USA |

    Me: “Thanks for your purchase. Would you please sign anywhere on the receipt?”

    Customer:¬†”Anywhere?”

    Me: “Anywhere.”

    Customer: “But there’s no line!”

    Me: “That’s right–the printer doesn’t draw a line for this type of receipt, so just sign anywhere on the receipt.”

    Customer: “Anywhere?”

    Me: “Anywhere.”

    Customer: “But there’s no LINE!”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Related:
    Living On The Edge

    How About A Coupon For A Free Psych Evaluation

    | Montana, USA |

    Me: “Ma’am, with this order, you received a free coupon for Cover Girl Cosmetics.”

    Customer: “What, do you think I need it?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “That’s very rude, telling someone they need makeup!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not suggesting you need makeup.¬†I’m just offering it to you because the computer printed it out.”

    Customer: “Oh, what, now the computer thinks I need makeup?”

    Me: “No, ma’am… it prints out coupons for random items.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t need it any coupons from you, so there!” *storms off*

    Me: *rubbing my temples* “Have a good day, ma’am.”

    If At First You Don’t Succeed, Ask, Ask Again

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    (I’d just finished helping a customer pick out everything she needs to start oil painting.)

    Customer: “Do you sell drop cloths?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, no. We don’t even sell anything like that.”

    Customer: “Well, what about tarps?”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t sell those, either.”

    Customer: “Do you have any plastic sheeting I could lay on my floor, in case my oil paint drips?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What about vinyl sheeting?”

    Me: “With all due respect, I answered your question the first time you asked it. It doesn’t matter how many times you reword your question, we simply don’t have what you’re looking for.”

    Customer: “Well, do you have anything similar?”

    Me: “…”

    Oh My, Aren’t We Sneaky Today

    | Netherlands |

    (I’m working at a well-known Scandinavian furniture store. Our children’s supervised play area only allows ages 3 to 6. Parents need to fill in a form with the names of the children and the address…)

    Customer: *writes down age 7*

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but only children from 3 until 6 are allowed to play in here.”

    Customer: *makes a 6 out of the 7 and looks at me with a big smile*

    Me: “…”


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