Not Exactly The Pick Of The Litter, Part 2

| NL, Canada | Uncategorized

(One of my regulars comes to my cash with her small child. The mother is very much pregnant.)

Me: “Oh hello, [mother] and [daughter], how are you today?”

Customer: “We’re great!” *turns to daughter* “Tell [me] what Mommy is going to have in September!”

Customer’s daughter: “A baby!”

Me: “Really? What do you hope it’ll be?”

Customer’s Daughter: “A puppy!”

Related:
Not Exactly The Pick Of The Litter

Cold But Not Calculating

| Australia | Uncategorized

(There is a deal at my store that reduces the prices on DVDs if you get five or more. A customer rings up 4 DVDs.)

Me: “So, you know if you get another movie, it’ll cost you fifty cents less than what you have right now?”

Customer: “What did you say to me?”

Me: “Um, well, we have this deal…”

Customer: “If I wanted another DVD, I would have gotten one before. And I would pay for it, too, because I believe in the system we have running here. I don’t need no filthy communist telling me how to use my money!”

Me: “I really don’t think that’s how communism works, but okay. That’ll be eight bucks.”

Customer: “Don’t you tell me how communism works! I fought in that war!”

Me: “Which war?”

Customer: “The Cold War!”

Not Enough Oxygen In The Brain

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello. You’ve reached [company]. How may we help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I recently purchased a carbon-monoxide detector thingies from here, and I was just wondering what to do if it goes off?”

Me: “Well, you would have to call emergency services and leave your house immediately.”

Customer: “Okay.” *long pause* “Could you hang up please? My phone broke and won’t let me end conversations but I have to call 911.”

Me: “Wait. Your alarm is going off? Ma’am, that’s dangerous! Get out of your house now!”

Customer: “Oh, I threw it in the garbage disposal, it’s okay.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Hey, like I said before, could you hang up?”

Extremely Last Minute Shopping

| Fairfax, VA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, ma’am! Is there something I can help you find?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for this jacket for a ski trip. Do you have this one?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. They are over there on that fixture. Let me know if I can check for a size in the back.”

(The customer goes off, looks at the jackets then comes back.)

Customer: “There wasn’t the size I needed on the rack. Could you check in the back?”

Me: *checks in back* “Sorry, ma’am. We don’t have that size.”

Customer: “What?! Why don’t you have it?”

Me: “Well, I can order it for you. It will only take about a week.”

Customer: “I can’t wait a week.”

Me: “We can also expedite shipping. When do you leave?”

Customer: “I’m on my way to the airport.”

Talk Is Cheap, Texting However…

| Utah, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks up to our cell phone store looking very frustrated.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, I have charges on my bill for text messaging, but I have unlimited texting. Why did you charge me?”

Me: “Ok, well let me look up your account and take a look.”

(I look up the account and notice that he activated his service two weeks ago and doesn’t have a balance yet.)

Me: “Sir, your balance right now is at $0.00. You don’t owe us anything yet.”

Customer: “Yeah, you said I do! You sent me a text message about it!”

(He pulls out his phone and shows me a text that says he owes $29.95 worth of texting to premium girls-chat website.)

Me: “We haven’t charged you, but that company charges you if you use their…services.”

Customer: “So I have to pay 29 bucks?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Well I’m going to delete her from my phone then, because she’s really expensive!”

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