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    Howard Hughes Goes Shopping

    | Plainville, MA, USA |

    (I had just finished a customer’s transaction, and was gathering up the change.)

    Me: “All right, your change is ****.”

    Customer: “Wait…I don’t like people touching my money…is there any way I can just take it out of the drawer myself?”

    Me: “…um, no.”

    Customer: “But what am I supposed to do? I don’t want you to contaminate it with germs!”

    Me: “…get a debit card?”

    (He leaves with his contaminated money, quite annoyed.)

    When Political Causes Collide

    , | Victoria, BC, Canada | Top

    Customer: “Excuse me, where is this table made? It’s not made in China, is it?”

    Me: “Yes, I do believe it’s made in China.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you would sell things from China.”

    Me: “Well, we have a factory there that makes custom furnishings directly for us. I assure you they’re of the highest quality.”

    Customer: “Well, I can’t shop here! This is an outrage!

    Me: “I don’t see the problem…”

    Customer: “The problem is that they do animal testing in China!”

    Me: “Um, this is a table.”

    Customer: “They still do animal testing!”

    Me: “Well, I assure you no animals were harmed during the building of this table.”

    Customer: *storms out*

    Speak For Yourself, Part 3

    , | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Yes, may I help you?”

    Customer:“What is this?”

    Me: “A t-shirt.”

    Customer: “Who’s the d*** picture of?”

    Me: “That’s Grizzly Adams, sir.”

    Customer: “No, it’s Charles Manson! How can you sell this in your shop? It’s disgusting!”

    Me: “It’s not my shop.”

    Customer: “You work here, why don’t you find a real job that doesn’t promote murderers and killing!”

    (The customer hands me a card: “Bill ***, Army Recruiter.”)

    Related:
    Speak For Yourself, Part 2
    Speak For Yourself

    White In New Jersey, What A Concept

    | New Jersey, USA |

    (The store has a policy where if customers bring in empty printer cartridges they would receive a free ream of white paper. However, the store would only take a few brands.)

    Customer: “I have these printer cartridges and I’d like to receive my free paper.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am but we don’t accept these brand.”

    Customer: “You can’t be serious, what else am I going to do with them?”

    Coworker: “Well the sign over there states which brands we take, but we can recycle them for you.”

    (The customer turns to me.)

    Customer: “Is this a race thing? Is it because I’m white?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I’m serious. I demand to know if this is because I’m white!”

    That’s What She Said

    | Abbotsford, BC, Canada |

    Me: “… so your purchase comes to [amount].”

    Customer: “Alright, on debit please.”

    Me: “Would you like a bag with that?”

    Customer: “Sure. I’ll just hold it open as wide as I can and you shove it in there.”

    Me: *laughs* “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

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