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    White In New Jersey, What A Concept

    | New Jersey, USA |

    (The store has a policy where if customers bring in empty printer cartridges they would receive a free ream of white paper. However, the store would only take a few brands.)

    Customer: “I have these printer cartridges and I’d like to receive my free paper.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am but we don’t accept these brand.”

    Customer: “You can’t be serious, what else am I going to do with them?”

    Coworker: “Well the sign over there states which brands we take, but we can recycle them for you.”

    (The customer turns to me.)

    Customer: “Is this a race thing? Is it because I’m white?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I’m serious. I demand to know if this is because I’m white!”

    That’s What She Said

    | Abbotsford, BC, Canada |

    Me: “… so your purchase comes to [amount].”

    Customer: “Alright, on debit please.”

    Me: “Would you like a bag with that?”

    Customer: “Sure. I’ll just hold it open as wide as I can and you shove it in there.”

    Me: *laughs* “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

    Unholier Than Thou

    | Stockton, CA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for your purchase, Mr. [customer's name]!”

    (Out of nowhere, the guy literally goes insane and starts to jump over the counter, screaming…)

    Customer: “How dare you take my name in vain!”

    (Luckily, my manager is a bouncer for his second job and walks over.)

    My manager: “What’s going on?”

    Customer: “Nothing…” *back to normal, leaves quietly*

    This Can Not End Well, Part 2

    | Huntsville, AL, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ***, how can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Do y’all sell erotic films?”

    Me: “… No, sir.”

    Caller: “Hmm. You know where I can get some bullets?”

    Me: “Nowhere within a hundred miles of here!” *click*

    Related: This Can Not End Well

    Please Burn Before Returning

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    (I work at a large outdoor equipment store. ¬†I had an older woman approach the register with a female urinary device — which is used for winter mountaineering, so that women can use pee bottles in their tents.)

    Me: ¬†”Howdy. Did you find everything you were looking for?”

    Customer: ¬†”Well, I’m looking at this — do they work well?”

    Me: ¬†”Uh, well, I imagine so, but I don’t have any experience with that product.”

    Customer: ¬†”Can I return it if it doesn’t work?”

    Me: ¬†”We have a 100% satisfaction guarantee on everything we sell here in the store. I will ask, however, that if you return it, you clean it first and double bag it!”

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