October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Talking Shirty

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, I need you to help me pick out something to wear.”

Me: “Alright. Any special occasion?”

Customer: “Yeah, I got a date on Saturday. I’m taking my girl to [local amusement park].”

Me: “Alright, so you’ll probably need shorts and a nice shirt. How about this?”

Customer: “No, nicer than that.”

Me: “It’s supposed to be really hot this weekend, so you’d need a shirt with a thin fabric. This is a very well-made shirt.”

Customer: “If you say so, but I better get laid or I’ll be back Sunday and file a complaint.”

(A female coworker walks past and the customer starts talking to her.)

Customer: “Hey, would you sleep with me if I wore this?”

Female coworker: “…”

Can’t Take The Heat Of A Melting Pot

| Trois-Rivières, QC, Canada | Canada, Language & Words, Top, Uncategorized

Coworker: “Hello, sir. Are you looking for something?”

Customer: “I refuse to be helped by you. You’re Chinese. You’re another one of these darn immigrants stealing the honest Canadians’ jobs!”

Coworker: “Well, my grandmother is from Japan, but I assure you I was born in the province of Quebec.”

Customer: “Lies, lies, and lies!” *spots me* “Finally, a prime example of our good Canadian youth. Young sir, can you help me, please?”

Me: *in my New Brunswick accent* “Sure I can. What are you looking for?”

Customer: “What kind of accent is this? Are you German? Or Russian? Get me the manager! I don’t understand how a sane person could hire these instead of a hard working Canadian!”

Me: *grabbing the phone* “Calling Maria to front desk.”

Customer: “Maria!? That’s Latino!”

Off The Clock Customer Block

| Robinson, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

(After my shift, I am shopping in the store I work at. I am not wearing my name tag, but still wearing a plain blue polo and black slacks.)

Customer: “Excuse me! You work here, don’t you?”

Me: “Well, yeah but not right now I actually just–”

Customer: “Can you find these shoes for me?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m done for the day. I just clocked out.”

Customer: “Then what are you doing here?”

Me: “I’m shopping too.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be allowed to do that!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You guys shouldn’t be allowed to shop while normal people are shopping! I want to speak to your manager!”

The Union Of Soviet Solar Systems

| Long Island, NY, USA | Language & Words, Math & Science, Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, does this planet mobile include Pluto?”

Me: “Well, there’s only eight planets on the mobile. So no, it does not.”

Customer: “I refuse to accept that Pluto is not a planet anymore. I don’t care what the socialists say!”

Totally Randumb

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Uncategorized

Customer: “Okay, so I can’t decide what color I should get. Green, blue, or pink?”

Me: “Well, I really like the green.”

Customer: “No, no, never mind, I’ll just flip a coin.”

(Tries to find a coin in her pocket.)

Me: “I have a penny, if you’d like it.”

Customer: “Nah, I’m fine. I’ll just flip the coin in my head.”

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