November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Ah, Mothers, Part 7

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(I’m putting a bridal set on a mannequin. The bottom has a train on it and a little girl is pulling on it.)

Me: “Please don’t pull on that.”

Mother: “Oh, she’s fine.”

Me: “If she rips it, you have to pay for it.”

Mother: *bellowing at daughter* “DON’T TOUCH THAT!”

Ah, Mothers, Part 6
Ah, Mothers, Part 5
Ah, Mothers, Part 4
Ah, Mothers, Part 3
Ah, Mothers, Part 2
Ah, Mothers

Small Appliances, Big Defiances

| Lima, OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, Men’s Department. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Men’s? I wanted Small Appliances!”

Me: “Well my phone is actually the closest to that department. We don’t have a phone or cash register in that section since it is small. So. I handle that department too.”

Caller: “I want the Small Appliances Department!”

Me: “Sir, there is no phone for that department and I can easily help you with any questions you have.”

(He hangs up and immediately calls back.)

Me: “Hello, Men’s. How may I help you today?”

Same Caller: “Great, it’s you again. Well, fine…tell how much [a blender] is.”

Me: “Well, since you don’t know the product code I will need to walk over to check the price myself. It will only take a few minutes.”

Caller: “That’s bulls***!”

(He hangs up and immediately calls back. We run through the same thing again.)

Caller: “What is your name, you dumb b****?” I am going to call your manager and make sure you are fired you dumb***!” *click*

(For this last call, my manager is here.)

Manager: “I know he won’t call, but I wish I could tell him that you are getting a raise and promotion because of him.”

Unleashes A Whole Raft Of Problems

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Money, Uncategorized

(I am a supervisor called to returns for an override.)

Me: “Hello! I understand we’re returning an inflatable raft?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s right. I don’t like this one.”

Me: “Okay, sorry to hear that. Give me just a sec to reverse the transaction. There you go! Anything else?”

Customer: “No, that’s all, I’m going to shop & look for another raft.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but it’s a seasonal item, we no longer carry them.”

Customer: “Oh, alright.”

*comes back about 20 minutes later*

Customer: “Excuse me, since you don’t have any more rafts & I need one, can I buy the one I just returned?”

Me: “Uh, sure!”

Customer: “Well, since it’s used and it’s the last one, can I get a discount?”

Actually, There’s Probably An App For That, Part 2

| Portland, OR, USA | Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

(An older gentleman is shopping for his first cell phone.)

Customer: “I need a phone that rings loud. My hearing isn’t so good.”

Me: “Well, this phone has vibrate mode so you can feel it ring.”

Customer: “Vibrate? You mean like a vibrator?”

Me: “Well, I suppose so, yes. But the warranty doesn’t cover liquid damage.”

Actually, There’s Probably An App For That

Honesty Is Not Always The Best Policy

| Batesville, AR, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Top

Me: “Okay, your total is $123.42.”

Customer: “Did you remember to add my discount?”

Me: “What discount?”

Customer: “My five finger discount.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “My five finger discount. My son comes in here all the time and says he gets a five finger discount.”