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    From Sprinting In Stilettos To Shin Splints & Sprains

    | San Francisco, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for high-heeled running shoes.”

    Me: “Um…we don’t make high-heeled running shoes.”

    Customer: “That’s impossible! I bought some here last year!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve been working here for 2 years, and I can assure you that we have never carried high-heeled running shoes.”

    Customer: “Well, where can I find some?”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure those don’t exist. Heels would defeat the purpose of a running shoe.”

    Customer: “Fine! I’m not shopping here ever again!” *storms out*

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

    Delicious Deals

    | Melbourne, Australia |

    Me: “Would you like this gift wrapped?”

    Customer: “Yes I would.”

    Me: “OK – here’s your receipt. Just head to the back of the store in about 5 min–”

    (The customer eats the receipt.)

    Me: “Oh…um, you actually need that to collect your purchase from gift wrap…”

    (The customer spits the receipt onto the counter.)

    Customer: “It didn’t taste very good anyway.”

    The Child May Get A Himself Complex

    | Eugene, OR, USA |

    (I was working at the registers as a lady walked in with a child in a stroller. One of the other employees walked up to her.)

    Employee: “Aw, what a cute baby. What’s his name?”

    Customer: “God.”

    Employee: “You named the kid after God?”

    Customer: “No, I named him God.”

    The Force Is Strong In This One

    , | Canada |

    Customer: “Hello, I would like to return this item.”

    Me: “Ok, what was the problem?”

    Customer: “I just don’t need it anymore.”

    Me: “Ok, do you have the receipt?”

    Customer: “Yes, here it is.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t return this. It’s from six months ago.”

    Customer: “Yes you can…” *waves hands in the air*

    Me: “I’m sorry, no I can’t. I would get in a lot of trouble.”

    Customer: “No you won’t…” *waves hands in the air again*

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m not going to do that.”

    Customer: *turns and leaves*

    Me, to coworker: “Did I just get Jedi mind-tricked?”

    The People Of England Wholeheartedly Agree

    , | Erie, PA, USA |

    Customer: “How do you change the language setting on The Sims?”

    Me: “Well, I’d imagine there’s something in the game’s options. What did you need to set it to?”

    Customer: “English.”

    Me: “Funny, I’d think that would be the default.”

    Customer: “But I can’t understand them!”

    Me: “Wait, you mean the Sims themselves?”

    Customer: “Yes! They’re speaking French!”

    Me: “No, they’re speaking Simlish. It’s a gibberish language.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, it sounds like French!”

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