November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

This Is A Bad Sign

| Australia | Uncategorized

(A customer is making a purchase on credit card.)

Me: “Alright, could I just check the signature on your card?”

Customer: “I didn’t sign it.”

Me: “I’ll need to see some ID then, please. And I would recommend signing it as soon as possible so that if you lose it, no one else will be able to use it.”

Customer: “Oh, but that’s what I did last time. Someone just copied my signature.”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. Still, I would sign it or write “Photo ID only” on it or something, or if you lose it someone will just put their own signature on the back.”

Customer: “No…if there’s nothing there, there’s nothing for them to copy!”

Some Customers Leave Big Shoes To Fill

, | Harrisburg, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

(While standing in line as a customer, I notice a father and his two children in front of me. The son, about age 8, is sporting a
Mohawk about as tall is he is. He looks positively adorable and when he turns and smiles at me, I return the smile.)

Boy: *tugging on his fathers coat* “Daddy, don’t flash all that money in your wallet! That b**** will take it! You always say how b****es are after your money!”

(The father laughs and agrees until he notices that his son’s free hand is pointing directly at me. The daughter, about age 12, slaps him on the back of the head.)

Daughter: “Shut up, dumb ***! That b**** don’t want dad’s money!”

(The father starts to feel uncomfortable with so many people staring. Not wanting to reprimand their behavior but still wanting to make some parental effort, he starts lecturing his son about how his shoes are dirty. Another customer behind me comes to my rescue.)

Another customer: “If I were you, I’d be more worried about the dirt coming out of the other end of them!”

(The father falls silent, the children stop calling me a b****, and I get one of my blouses for free.)

Luncheon And On And On

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

(Note: I quit working at this store for 7 months and then returned.)

Customer: “Oh so how are things? I haven’t seen you for a while.”

Me: “Oh, good. Yeah, I actually haven’t worked here for the last 7 months. This is my first day back.”

Customer: “Oh, I just thought you were on lunch break or something.”

Hannah Montana, I Choose You

| Woburn, MA, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

Me: “Excuse me, do you need help?”

Customer: “Yes, actually. Would you happen to know what a good game for a seven year old boy? I need a present for my grandson.”

Me: “Well, you could always go with a classic Mario or Pokémon game.”

Customer: “Well what are those about?”

(I give a very general description, explaining the basics of the concepts since she was obviously new to video games.)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Those sound very violent to me.”

Me: “Well, they’re very popular games, especially among young boys.”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “No, I think those games are too violent. I’ll just get him this one.”

(She picks up the latest Hannah Montana game for the DS and walks off.)

Chinchilla, I Choose You

When It Is Best To Step Down

| New York, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Uncategorized

(An infuriated customer comes into my department with a bag that has a camcorder, DVD burner and CD’s.)

Customer: “The person who sold this told me that it only takes three easy steps to make my DVDs, but it doesn’t even work.”

(After fumbling with the burner for awhile, I realize that there is a CD inside.)

Me: “That’s a CD, not a DVD; those won’t work. It says, ‘Please insert a blank DVD disc’.”

Customer: “Those are DVDs!”

Me: “No, those are CDs. They’re different.”

Customer: “Well, the guy told me that they would work anyway.”

Me: “It’s odd that the guy sold you CDs with a DVD burner. Do you remember what he looked like? Maybe I can talk to him?”

Customer: “It’s that guy over there.”

Me: “He doesn’t work in this department. He couldn’t have sold you a DVD burner and the CDs. Well, anyway, you need DVDs to get it to work. That’s what your problem was.”

Customer: “Show me how to work this! I don’t have the instruction manual anymore.”

Me: “Well, it’s easy. Plug it into the wall, open the lid, insert the disc, turn it on, pick your scene and press this red button here.”

Customer: “It said three easy steps. That’s way more than three steps!”

Me: “I don’t think that they consider plugging it in and putting the disc in steps.”