July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

No Intelligence Inside

| Pottstown, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [second hand store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve been trying to find games for my computer and I was wondering if you had any?”

Me: “We have plenty of computer games. What kind of operating system are you running?”

Customer: “Huh? It’s um…it’s a [computer brand].”

Me: “Okay, but which operating system do you use?”

Customer: “It’s a…[retail store]?”

One Nation, Under God, Period

| South Dakota, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you have anything made in Tennessee?”

Me: “It’s quite possible.”

Customer: “Well, what about Illinois?”

Me: “Maybe.”

Customer: “What about New Jersey?”

Me: “I’m not sure…you may find something.”

Customer: “But your sign says you sell goods from over 50 countries! That’s all of them!”

Me: “That’s states. It’s 50 countries outside the US.”

Customer: *baffled look* “Out…side?”

Totally Flunked That One

| Oxford, UK | Uncategorized

(I am working in a cafe near one of the main halls for University examinations, for which the students have to wear full robes. Every time an exam finishes, the students come out and celebrate with champagne and confetti.)

Tourist: “Excuse me, what time is the next show?”

Me: “I’m sorry? There’s a theatre round the corner from here. They might be able to help you.”

Tourist: “No, the next University show. With the costumes and everything.”

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not a performance. Those are the University’s students, and they’re finishing their exams.”

Tourist: “So when will the next one finish? I want to bring my wife.”

In Need Of Humble Pi

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Top

Me: “Would you like to donate to [charity] today?”

Customer: “Okay. Round my total up to $30.”

(I pull out a calculator to figure out how much it is to round up to $30. Customer’s total is $25.78.)

Customer: “It’s sad that you need a calculator to figure that out. It’s $7.32.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, it’s $4.22.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Not About To Start A Revolution

| Barrie, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(A young female customer is paying for a work order. Her friends are nearby.)

Me: “The tech also recommends a tire rotation.”

Customer: “Oh okay…is that something I could get a friend to do?”

Me: “If they’ve got a jack and the lug nut key, sure.”

(Her friends come over.)

Customer: *to another young female friend* “I have to rotate my tires.”

Customer’s friend: “I thought they did that when you drive?”

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