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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Guilt Trip: FAIL

    | Denver, CO, USA |

    Customer: “Hey, you guys sell fish food and supplies, but do you have any fish?”

    Me: “No, sorry sir, we don’t sell pets.”

    Customer: “Where do they sell pets?”

    Me: “A pet store?”

    Customer: “Is there one of those near here?”

    Me: “Uhm, I really don’t know.”

    Customer: “Will you take me to it?”

    Me: “… no?”

    Customer: “Sam Walton would take me to it!”

    Me: “Sam Walton is dead.”

    Just Another Day In Bedrock

    | Massachusetts, USA |

    (Keep in mind, this customer comes in about ten times a day. He’s insane and you never know what you will get from this guy.)

    Customer: “Yabba dabba.”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Yabba dabba.”

    Me: “Okay. That will be thirteen fifty.”

    Customer: *hands me money* “Yabba dabba.”

    Me: “You don’t say?”

    Customer: *angrily* “Yabba dabba!!”

    Me: “Doo. Have a good day.”

    Customer: *happy now* “YABBA DABBA!!!!” *leaves*

    (He comes back about two hours later, talking regularly like nothing happened.)

    Baptism On A Budget

    | Michigan, USA |

    Customer: “I need some help with the animal watering troughs.”

    Me: “Sure, they are outside. Let’s go look at them.”

    (Outside…)

    Customer: “Can I see if I fit in it?”

    Me: “Um, ok.”

    (The customer climbs in.)

    Customer to companion: “Ok, now you get in too, see if we will both fit.”

    (The customer’s companion climbs in.)

    Customer: “Ok, this will work, but do you have any nicer looking ones, without dents? We are using it for a baptismal font.”

    More Like The Gas Beneath My Pants

    | Alberta, Canada |

    Me: “Hello, ¬†*** Music. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I was wondering if you had the sheet music for ‘Hero’.”

    Me: “Mariah Carey?”

    Customer: “No! Bette Midler!”

    Me: “Oh! ‘Wind Beneath My Wings!’ Sure, ¬†we’ve got it!”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “The song is called ‘Wind Beneath My Wings.’ It’s one of the most popular vocal arrangements on the market.”

    Customer: “No, it’s that one about her hero.”

    Me:¬†”Yeah…” *sings* “… did you ever know that you’re my hero?¬†You’re everything I wish I could be…¬†I can fly higher than an eagle… and you are the WIND BENEATH MY WINGS.”

    Customer: “Yes! That’s the one!” *sings* “‘Did you ever know that you’re my HERO!’¬†Can you hold a copy for me?”

    Me, giving up: “Of course…”

    (Later on…)

    Coworker 1: “So, who was on the phone?”

    Coworker 2: “… and why are they the wind beneath your wings?”

    The Logic Is Weak In This One

    | Victoria, BC, Canada |

    (A man comes out of the fitting room with a pair of pants and talks to my coworker.)

    Customer: “So… it says here on the hanger, that it’s size 34. The tag says 34, and this other tag says 34. But there’s no freaking way I can fit into these! So what does that mean?

    Coworker: “Well, I guess that means you’re not a size 34…”

    Customer: “Oh. Thanks.”


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