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    Now With Smarch And Gebruary!

    | Massachusetts, USA |

    Customer: “Do you have any calendars?”

    Me: “Yes, they’re right behind you.”

    Customer: *looks at several calendars* “This says 16 months. What does that mean?”

    Me: “Well, it has the last four months of 2008, and then all of 2009.”

    Customer: “But there are only 12 months in a year.”

    Me: “I know. It has a whole year on it and then part of the previous year.”

    Customer: “So what are the extra months again?”

    The Logic Is Weak In This One, Part 2

    , | New Jersey, USA |

    (I’m ringing up a fairly high-end video card for a customer.)

    Me: “That’ll be $211.98 please…”

    Customer: “But the display showed it as $49.99.”

    Me: “Are you sure it was this card? This is a fairly new card.”

    Customer: “Yes, I picked it up, and it says the price is $49.99 below it.”

    Me: “Can you show me?”

    (We walk over to the video cards, and he shows me where he picked it up from. The shelf is marked $49.99, and it is the same manufacturer. However, it is a lower end card than the one he is holding.)

    Customer: “See, $49.99!”

    Me: “Sir, that price is not for that video card. You’re holding this one…”

    (I point to another shelf with the video card he picked up; it’s priced at $199.99.)

    Customer: “Well, it was on this shelf, so it was advertised at this price and you have to sell it to me for that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, sir, but sometimes customers pick things up and then don’t return them to their proper location.”

    Customer: “That’s not my fault! It was on this shelf, so you should sell it to me for $49.99.”

    Me: “Sir, how do I know it wasn’t you who put it on that shelf? Or for that matter, that it was on that shelf at all?”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “So, do you want the $49.99 one instead?”

    Customer: *defeated* “Yeah…”

    Related:
    The Logic Is Weak In This One

    Thanks For Shopping At Quadruped, Inc.

    | Springfield, MO, USA |

    (I witnessed this interaction between a girl and her dad.)

    Dad: “Are you as picky about your toilet paper as your ex-step mom was?”

    Girl: “No, not really.”

    Dad: “OK, grab one of those then.”

    (The girl reaches for a pack that’s on its side.)

    Dad: “No, no, not that one. I want one that hasn’t been touched by human hands!”

    Girl: “Are you saying the store employees aren’t human?”

    Dad: “Well, you’ve seen them…you be the judge.”

    (I had to walk off so they wouldn’t hear me laughing.)

    From Sprinting In Stilettos To Shin Splints & Sprains

    | San Francisco, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for high-heeled running shoes.”

    Me: “Um…we don’t make high-heeled running shoes.”

    Customer: “That’s impossible! I bought some here last year!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve been working here for 2 years, and I can assure you that we have never carried high-heeled running shoes.”

    Customer: “Well, where can I find some?”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure those don’t exist. Heels would defeat the purpose of a running shoe.”

    Customer: “Fine! I’m not shopping here ever again!” *storms out*

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

    Delicious Deals

    | Melbourne, Australia |

    Me: “Would you like this gift wrapped?”

    Customer: “Yes I would.”

    Me: “OK – here’s your receipt. Just head to the back of the store in about 5 min–”

    (The customer eats the receipt.)

    Me: “Oh…um, you actually need that to collect your purchase from gift wrap…”

    (The customer spits the receipt onto the counter.)

    Customer: “It didn’t taste very good anyway.”

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