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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Can’t Take The Heat Of A Melting Pot

    | Trois-Rivières, QC, Canada | Canada, Language & Words, Top, Uncategorized

    Coworker: “Hello, sir. Are you looking for something?”

    Customer: “I refuse to be helped by you. You’re Chinese. You’re another one of these darn immigrants stealing the honest Canadians’ jobs!”

    Coworker: “Well, my grandmother is from Japan, but I assure you I was born in the province of Quebec.”

    Customer: “Lies, lies, and lies!” *spots me* “Finally, a prime example of our good Canadian youth. Young sir, can you help me, please?”

    Me: *in my New Brunswick accent* “Sure I can. What are you looking for?”

    Customer: “What kind of accent is this? Are you German? Or Russian? Get me the manager! I don’t understand how a sane person could hire these instead of a hard working Canadian!”

    Me: *grabbing the phone* “Calling Maria to front desk.”

    Customer: “Maria!? That’s Latino!”

    Off The Clock Customer Block

    | Robinson, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

    (After my shift, I am shopping in the store I work at. I am not wearing my name tag, but still wearing a plain blue polo and black slacks.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! You work here, don’t you?”

    Me: “Well, yeah but not right now I actually just–”

    Customer: “Can you find these shoes for me?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m done for the day. I just clocked out.”

    Customer: “Then what are you doing here?”

    Me: “I’m shopping too.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be allowed to do that!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You guys shouldn’t be allowed to shop while normal people are shopping! I want to speak to your manager!”

    The Union Of Soviet Solar Systems

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Language & Words, Math & Science, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Excuse me, does this planet mobile include Pluto?”

    Me: “Well, there’s only eight planets on the mobile. So no, it does not.”

    Customer: “I refuse to accept that Pluto is not a planet anymore. I don’t care what the socialists say!”

    Totally Randumb

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Okay, so I can’t decide what color I should get. Green, blue, or pink?”

    Me: “Well, I really like the green.”

    Customer: “No, no, never mind, I’ll just flip a coin.”

    (Tries to find a coin in her pocket.)

    Me: “I have a penny, if you’d like it.”

    Customer: “Nah, I’m fine. I’ll just flip the coin in my head.”

    Not The Only Hollow Thing In The Store

    | Culver City, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Do you have any record players?”

    Me: “We only have one model, but they’re all sold out right now.”

    (She leaves and comes back five minutes later.)

    Customer: “Ha! I found one! I knew you were lying to me!”

    (She carries the very large and heavy display version of the turntable from a few aisles over.)

    Me: “Uh, ma’am, I can’t sell you the display.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “Well, for one thing, I can’t open the case around it. Second, the one in there is just hollowed-out plastic. It’s not a working player.”

    Customer: “So, can I get it at a discount?”

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