The Price of Verity

| New York, NY, USA | Liars & Scammers, Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, I purchased this juicer from you yesterday and it doesn’t seem to be working. You have to take it back.”

Me: “Really? Well I took that right out of the shipping crate it was delivered to us in, so no one here could have possibly have messed with it.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Just let me check something, please.”

(I take the juicer out of the box and carry it over to the kitchen. Plugging it into an outlet I turn it on and watch as it revs up as normal.)

Me: “Well it seems to be in working order. Are you sure you hit the power switch on the side here to turn it on when you tried using
it?”

Customer: “Hey, you’re supposed to just give me my money back, not check if I’m telling the truth!”

Slow To Register

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(It’s a busy day with long lines. I am one of the fastest cashiers we have.)

Me: “Hi, did you find what you where looking for today?”

(I’ve already processed and bagged about six Items.)

Customer: “Stop bagging! I don’t want no double scans!”

Me: “Okay, then.” *moving more slowly* “Did you find–”

Customer: “No! Stop it! Start over and wait until I have it all on the belt!”

Me: “Okay.” *I pause but don’t void out the total*

Customer: “Good now show me the screen.” *grabs the screen*. “What did you scan?”

(I scroll through the list now about 20+ things. After I start up scanning again, the customer has her eyes locked on the screen.)

Me: “Ok, now that brings you total to–”

Customer: “Here!” *slaps her card on the counter* “You young people move to fast! You should slow down! No one likes you being fast!.”

Three other customers behind her: “We LOVE a fast checker!”

Scare Bears

| Erie, PA, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(I’m talking to two young customers about their stuffed animals with their aunt waiting behind them.)

Me: “So, what are you going to name your bears?”

Girl 1: *shrug*

Girl 2: “I don’t know yet.”

Me: “Oh, well that’s okay.”

Girl 1: *very serious* “You know, my sister’s last name is Ross, but that’s not my last name. Do you know why?”

Me: “Uh…well, um. I’m not sure?”

(The aunt rushes over.)

Aunt: “Oh, sweetie! You should ask your mom that!”

Girl 1: “Oh…okay.” *walks away forlorn*

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2

| Duluth, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Uncategorized

Me: “Your total is $152.37.”

(Customer begins to write out a deposit slip from the back of her chequebook.)

Me: “That’s a deposit slip, not a cheque.”

Customer: “Oh, so I can’t pay you with this?” *confused look*

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh, well take it out of this then.” *hands me a roll of cash* “But don’t take more that $75 out of there.”

Me: *takes $75 out of roll* “And how would you like to pay for the rest of this?”

Customer: “Umm…” *confused look* “I have to pay more?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

A Poser By Any Other Name

| Crystal River, FL, USA | Liars & Scammers, Uncategorized

Customer: "Excuse me…how much is this?"

Me: "$24.99."

Customer: "But the sign says it’s $19.99! Ha! So you have to give it to me for that!”

Me: "Ma’am, the sign says $19.99 and up."

Customer: "But it’s the law!”

Me: "Ma’am, I assure you, it is $24.99."

Customer: "Well, I’m a lawyer, and it’s the law!"

Me: "You’re not a lawyer, are you?"

Customer: "No. How did you know that?"

Me: "There is no such law."

Customer: “You’re too smart. I just thought I’d try to scare you into changing the price."

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