Customer: “Excuse me, I purchased this juicer from you yesterday and it doesn’t seem to be working. You have to take it back.”
Me: “Really? Well I took that right out of the shipping crate it was delivered to us in, so no one here could have possibly have messed with it.”
Me: “Just let me check something, please.”
(I take the juicer out of the box and carry it over to the kitchen. Plugging it into an outlet I turn it on and watch as it revs up as normal.)
Me: “Well it seems to be in working order. Are you sure you hit the power switch on the side here to turn it on when you tried using
Customer: “Hey, you’re supposed to just give me my money back, not check if I’m telling the truth!”
(It’s a busy day with long lines. I am one of the fastest cashiers we have.)
Me: “Hi, did you find what you where looking for today?”
(I’ve already processed and bagged about six Items.)
Customer: “Stop bagging! I don’t want no double scans!”
Me: “Okay, then.” *moving more slowly* “Did you find–”
Customer: “No! Stop it! Start over and wait until I have it all on the belt!”
Me: “Okay.” *I pause but don’t void out the total*
Customer: “Good now show me the screen.” *grabs the screen*. “What did you scan?”
(I scroll through the list now about 20+ things. After I start up scanning again, the customer has her eyes locked on the screen.)
Me: “Ok, now that brings you total to–”
Customer: “Here!” *slaps her card on the counter* “You young people move to fast! You should slow down! No one likes you being fast!.”
Three other customers behind her: “We LOVE a fast checker!”
(I’m talking to two young customers about their stuffed animals with their aunt waiting behind them.)
Me: “So, what are you going to name your bears?”
Girl 1: *shrug*
Girl 2: “I don’t know yet.”
Me: “Oh, well that’s okay.”
Girl 1: *very serious* “You know, my sister’s last name is Ross, but that’s not my last name. Do you know why?”
Me: “Uh…well, um. I’m not sure?”
(The aunt rushes over.)
Aunt: “Oh, sweetie! You should ask your mom that!”
Girl 1: “Oh…okay.” *walks away forlorn*
Me: “Your total is $152.37.”
(Customer begins to write out a deposit slip from the back of her chequebook.)
Me: “That’s a deposit slip, not a cheque.”
Customer: “Oh, so I can’t pay you with this?” *confused look*
Customer: “Oh, well take it out of this then.” *hands me a roll of cash* “But don’t take more that $75 out of there.”
Me: *takes $75 out of roll* “And how would you like to pay for the rest of this?”
Customer: “Umm…” *confused look* “I have to pay more?”
This Is Why We’re In A Recession
Customer: "Excuse me…how much is this?"
Customer: "But the sign says it’s $19.99! Ha! So you have to give it to me for that!”
Me: "Ma’am, the sign says $19.99 and up."
Customer: "But it’s the law!”
Me: "Ma’am, I assure you, it is $24.99."
Customer: "Well, I’m a lawyer, and it’s the law!"
Me: "You’re not a lawyer, are you?"
Customer: "No. How did you know that?"
Me: "There is no such law."
Customer: “You’re too smart. I just thought I’d try to scare you into changing the price."