No Signs Of Old Age

| Lansdale, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(An older customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hi, the woman up front rang me up wrong. This shirt is supposed to be $17.99.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m the one that put up the signs. I assure you they’re correct. Why don’t I go double check it for you?”

(I check the signs.)

Me: “I checked the signs, and they’re correct. The shirts on the rack are $26.99, but the capris on the rack are $17.99.”

Customer: “But I read $17.99! The sign was right above the shirts!”

Me: “Yes, but there’s only so many spots for signs on a rack. The sign says ‘Capris’ right underneath the price. There’s also a sign for the shirts on the same rack.”

Customer: “Well you should talk to your manager, because old people can’t read!”

Store Of The D***ed

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Religion, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how can help you today?”

Customer: “Are you a lesbian!?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’ve got real short hair. I heard that women with short hair are lesbians.”

Me: “So, was there anything I could help you with?”

Customer: “You can answer my question! Are you a lesbian or not?!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t feel it’s appropriate for me to answer that.”

Customer: “I don’t want some hell-bound homosexual near me! God will strike you down for disobeying his word!”

Me: “Okay, okay. If you really must know, no I am not a lesbian.”

Customer: “Then why do you have short hair??”

(By this time, my manager, who is male-to-female transgender, walks over.)

Manager: *in their manly voice* “Is there a problem here, sir?”

Customer: “Oh dear lord! You’re not a woman!”

Manager: “Only on paper, sir.

Customer: *runs out screaming* “This place is d***ed! D***ed I tell you!”

Humor Is Generational

| San Jose, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(A customer of about 85 years old approaches customer service. It is Father’s Day.)

Customer: “Where do you keep your belts?”

Me: “Over in the men’s department.”

Customer: “And where do you keep your grooming sets?”

Me: “In the men’s department as well.”

Customer: “Oh thanks! I’m buying a Father’s day present for my Dad and Grandfather!”

(I tell him he’s welcome and turn back to what I was doing. I noticed a few seconds later he’s still there.)

Me: “Is there something else I can help you with?”

Customer: *grinning widely* “Do you believe me?!”

In(Console)able

| Connecticut, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

(A young little girl walks up to the one of the cashiers.)

Girl: “Do you have any ?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sweetie. We’re all out right now.”

Girl: “Can you go in the back and make one?”

Me: “We can’t make [consoles]. We get shipped the [consoles] to sell.”

(With a sullen look, the little girl walks away and comes back soon after with her mother.)

Mother: “You don’t have any [consoles] currently?”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we do not.”

Mother: “Well, can you go in the back and make one?”

Who Is The Dumbest Of Them All

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Bizarre, Uncategorized

Customer: “Are these mirrors weird?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “These mirrors, are they weird?”

Me: “Not to my knowledge.”

Customer: *looks in mirror* “But that’s not me!”

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