A young child had an accident in our store and left poop on our floor. The child’s mother just left the mess.

My coworker and I confronted her over the mess. She screamed what I assume was blue bloody murder at us in another language for this. Then, she continued to scream at us for refusing to let her continue to shop.

My coworker put a chair over the mess to stop people from walking through it, but while she was away fetching cleaning equipment, someone moved the chair to fit their trolley down the aisle. The mess got tracked everywhere.

A customer is trying to get a return.

Coworker: “Can I ask the reason for the return?”

Customer: “The petrol lawnmower won’t start, it isn’t sparking, I’m a gardener by trade I know what I’m talking about, we haven’t even used it or put petrol into it.”

At this point, my coworker goes to get the manager as we aren’t sure about the policy for returning a petrol lawnmower.

Manager: “So it isn’t sparking.”

My manager proceeds to open the sealed box to get said lawnmower out, only for us to smell petrol.

Customer: “I did empty all the petrol out, but I didn’t want to flip it over and cause more damage just in case you blame me for that.”

The customer states again that he is a gardener and that he knows what he is talking about. I step in as my coworker is getting flustered.

Me: “If it isn’t sparking it’s a sparkplug issue.”

Customer: “No it just won’t start at all, I’ve not even used it.”

Manager: “I’m not sure if we can do a return because there is still petrol in the tank.”

Customer: “But I emptied it there should be nothing in there.”

Indeed there was a ton of petrol that me, my manager and two other coworkers had to drain out. It got all over the floor and stank the shop out, the customer got his refund and a brand-new petrol lawnmower

We tried to point out that he may want to watch the instructional video that the box has a QR code for – that way there are no problems. Turns out he had overfilled the petrol tank and flooded it.

I worked in the photo department of a pharmacy store chain a few years ago. Our card machine randomly spat out three pamphlets for a funeral service that had been ordered about ten days prior. It was weird because our orders only stayed in the system for three days. Neither my manager nor I could figure out how it had printed these pamphlets, but we finally shrugged and I threw them on top of our waste pile.

About an hour later, a woman came up to my counter.

Woman: *Quietly* “How long are orders stored? My brother’s funeral was last week, and I wasn’t able to get one of the pamphlets.”

I just stared at her for a second, then walked over, grabbed the mysterious pamphlets, and placed them in front of her. They were for her brother’s funeral.

Me: “Our machine randomly printed these three copies out for no reason.”

The woman started crying.

Woman: “How much do I owe you?”

I just laughed.

Me: “We don’t charge for acts of God.”

It was the only explanation I could come up with.

My husband works at a cannabis dispensary on Indigenous land, so many of the government regulations don’t apply. Apparently, people think that means there are NO rules.

A customer comes in, orders some cannabis products, and then browses the paraphernalia. He looks to be in his forties.

Customer: “Hmm, I’m not sure…”

Husband: “Anything I can help you with? We have lots of designs. What are you looking for?”

Customer: “I just don’t know! I’m buying for my son, and I don’t know which he’d prefer.”

Husband: “You can always come back with him. We’re open until 9:00 pm.”

Customer: “Oh, no. He’s too young to come in here.”

Husband: “You do realize I can’t sell to you now, right?”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

I was working in retail during flu season. One day, in particular, I was sick as a dog, my nose running like a tap. When I was not working, I managed that symptom by keeping my head tilted slightly up so everything could drain backward. But that’s not an option when you’re looking down to pack bags and make change every few seconds. Even with tissues and sanitiser, I was serving very slowly because I’d have to stop myself from snotting on the customer’s produce.

I thought a sensible thing to do was to put up my closed sign so people would queue elsewhere and probably get served faster. I’d then call over one person at a time so I was still working the whole time but we’d have fewer annoyed customers.

I got reamed out for closing my register without asking, in front of the customer I was serving at the time.

The reason I didn’t go home? I’d asked, but they’d already let someone else go home (who was far less sick) and they didn’t want to be down another cashier.