Finally Seeing The (Red) Light

| Montreal, Canada | Technology, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, my laser printer has a flashing light that say ‘change toner’. What must I do to fix that?”

Me: “Well, sir, your toner cartridge is empty. You just need to replace it.”

Customer: “What is a toner?”

Me: “It’s the ink that your printer need to print on the paper.”

Customer: “What! How come it needs ink? It’s a laser printer! Doesn’t the laser directly write on the paper without ink?”

Don’t Count On Intelligence

| New Jersey, USA | At The Checkout, Top

Customer: “How much is this? I’m kind of bad at math.”

Me: “Sure. It come to $10.20.”

(The customer hands me a $10 bill.)

Customer: “Here you go.”

Me: “Alright, I need at least 20 more cents.”

Customer: “Oh…alright.”

(The customer puts down five pennies.)

Customer: “Is that enough?”

Me: “15 more cents.”

(The customer puts down a dime.)

Me: “Alright you have $10.15 now.”

(The customer puts down 5 more pennies, but takes away the $10 bill.)

Me: “Alright, you have the right amount of change. But I need that $10 bill.”

Customer: “But this is 20!”

Me: “20 cents. And your total is $10.20.”

Customer: “Oh, I get it.”

(The customer hands me a $1 bill.)

Me: “I’ll need that $10 bill you had before.”

(The customer gives me the $10 bill and begins to take away the 20 cents.)

Me: “Wait…actually no you’re good. That’s the right amount.”

Non-Plussed With Tax

| Washington D.C., USA | At The Checkout, Politics, Uncategorized

Me: “Your total is $22.15 with tax.”

Customer: “What? How can that be?”

Me: “Well, you had one stamp at $13.95, and one candle at $6.95.”

Customer: “That doesn’t add up!”

Me: “Fourteen plus seven is twenty-one, and then with sales tax.”

Customer: “I still don’t know how that adds up. Oh well…I guess math has changed with inflation and all.”

Damage Your Self E-Steam

| New South Wales, Australia | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Uncategorized

(A customer brings in a steamer set.)

Customer: “This doesn’t work. It’s faulty.”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem with the item?”

Customer: “It doesn’t steam the food.”

Me: “Ok, I’m just going to have to test it, to confirm that it’s faulty.” *I ask my co-worker next to me* “How much water do I put in it?”

Customer: “You put water in it?”

Off-Handed Comment

| Manchester, UK | Health & Body, Technology, Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi, I’ve placed an order some weeks back and I’m just chasing up when it might be delivered.”

Me: “Certainly, just bear with me a moment. I’ll just need to track it on the computer.”

(I proceed to log on to the order system, having a bit of difficulty as I’m only able to type with one hand while the other holds the phone.)

Me: “Sorry, bear with me a moment, it’s quite difficult to type with one hand.”

Caller: *in a sincere tone* “Why have you only got one hand?”

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