October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Some Customers Leave Big Shoes To Fill

, | Harrisburg, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

(While standing in line as a customer, I notice a father and his two children in front of me. The son, about age 8, is sporting a
Mohawk about as tall is he is. He looks positively adorable and when he turns and smiles at me, I return the smile.)

Boy: *tugging on his fathers coat* “Daddy, don’t flash all that money in your wallet! That b**** will take it! You always say how b****es are after your money!”

(The father laughs and agrees until he notices that his son’s free hand is pointing directly at me. The daughter, about age 12, slaps him on the back of the head.)

Daughter: “Shut up, dumb ***! That b**** don’t want dad’s money!”

(The father starts to feel uncomfortable with so many people staring. Not wanting to reprimand their behavior but still wanting to make some parental effort, he starts lecturing his son about how his shoes are dirty. Another customer behind me comes to my rescue.)

Another customer: “If I were you, I’d be more worried about the dirt coming out of the other end of them!”

(The father falls silent, the children stop calling me a b****, and I get one of my blouses for free.)

Luncheon And On And On

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

(Note: I quit working at this store for 7 months and then returned.)

Customer: “Oh so how are things? I haven’t seen you for a while.”

Me: “Oh, good. Yeah, I actually haven’t worked here for the last 7 months. This is my first day back.”

Customer: “Oh, I just thought you were on lunch break or something.”

Hannah Montana, I Choose You

| Woburn, MA, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

Me: “Excuse me, do you need help?”

Customer: “Yes, actually. Would you happen to know what a good game for a seven year old boy? I need a present for my grandson.”

Me: “Well, you could always go with a classic Mario or Pokémon game.”

Customer: “Well what are those about?”

(I give a very general description, explaining the basics of the concepts since she was obviously new to video games.)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Those sound very violent to me.”

Me: “Well, they’re very popular games, especially among young boys.”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “No, I think those games are too violent. I’ll just get him this one.”

(She picks up the latest Hannah Montana game for the DS and walks off.)

Chinchilla, I Choose You

When It Is Best To Step Down

| New York, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Uncategorized

(An infuriated customer comes into my department with a bag that has a camcorder, DVD burner and CD’s.)

Customer: “The person who sold this told me that it only takes three easy steps to make my DVDs, but it doesn’t even work.”

(After fumbling with the burner for awhile, I realize that there is a CD inside.)

Me: “That’s a CD, not a DVD; those won’t work. It says, ‘Please insert a blank DVD disc’.”

Customer: “Those are DVDs!”

Me: “No, those are CDs. They’re different.”

Customer: “Well, the guy told me that they would work anyway.”

Me: “It’s odd that the guy sold you CDs with a DVD burner. Do you remember what he looked like? Maybe I can talk to him?”

Customer: “It’s that guy over there.”

Me: “He doesn’t work in this department. He couldn’t have sold you a DVD burner and the CDs. Well, anyway, you need DVDs to get it to work. That’s what your problem was.”

Customer: “Show me how to work this! I don’t have the instruction manual anymore.”

Me: “Well, it’s easy. Plug it into the wall, open the lid, insert the disc, turn it on, pick your scene and press this red button here.”

Customer: “It said three easy steps. That’s way more than three steps!”

Me: “I don’t think that they consider plugging it in and putting the disc in steps.”

Throwing A Spanner In The Wax

| Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Uncategorized

(A customer is trying to combine coupons on one purchase; this is not allowed. One is a coupon that allows her to buy expensive candles for half off and the other is a basic “free item with any purchase” coupon.)

Me: “Oh, sorry ma’am, we’ll have to do this as two separate purchases. We’ll use your candle coupon first, then, if you just add another item you’ll qualify to use your second coupon and get your free item.”

Customer: “But I was purchasing the candle to get the free item.”

Me: “Yes, but you can’t use the coupon on the candle and then use a second coupon on the same purchase. But it’s okay, you can buy one of these cheap $1.00 items to qualify for the second coupon, I’ll just ring these items up separately.”

Customer: “Or maybe I don’t buy anything at all!”

(The customer swipes her cheap mailer coupon off the counter and walks away, leaving me holding her exclusive candle coupon.)

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