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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Ignoring The Staff Is Its Own Reward

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (During the Christmas rush, a customer comes into my line talking on her cell phone.)

    Me: “Hello. Would you like a protection plan with this?”

    (Customer ignores me.)

    Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us, ma’am?”

    (Customer continues to ignore me.)

    Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt. Have a nice day!”

    (Customer stops talking on her phone and looks at me.)

    Customer: “What about my rewards card?”

    Me: “Well, I asked you if you had one, but you were too busy talking.”

    Customer: “So you’re saying it’s my fault?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    28 Years Later

    , | Bloomington, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Top

    (A little old lady approaches the counter.)

    Little old lady: “Do you carry flamethrowers?

    Must Be Really Hungry

    , | Annapolis, MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

    Me: “Your table is not quite ready yet. Let me give you this pager it will go off as soon as the table is set.”

    Customer: “Ok, thank you. What’s the range on this pager?”

    Me: “Just on this side of the courtyard.”

    Customer: “Alright, and if I lick it, will it electrocute me?”

    Me: *pause* “Please…just…don’t.”

    Too Lazy To Lather

    | Toronto, Canada | Bizarre, Uncategorized

    Customer: “I need help finding a soap with vanilla in it.”

    (I help her and show her a few products. She picks up a bar of soap.)

    Customer: “How do you use this one?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s just like a normal bar of soap.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “You know, like a normal soap bar? Um, like Dove or Irish Spring?”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “You take it into the shower with you, wet it, rub it all over, and rinse it off.”

    Customer: “Oh. That sounds like too much work.” *puts soap down and walks away*

    Size Matters

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

    (My job is just to fold/hang the clothes from the fitting rooms and put them back. A customer comes up to me with two identical shirts.)

    Customer: “What’s the difference between a small and a medium?”

    Me: “Um, the small is smaller than the medium?”

    Customer: “I know that! Is there any other difference?”

    Me: “Not really.”

    Customer: “What kind of salesman are you? You don’t know that much about clothes.”

    Me: “I don’t sell the clothes. I just fold them.”

    Customer: “So you don’t know if there’s any difference?”

    Me: “They’re the same thing. One is just smaller.”

    (The customer hangs the medium on a rack, hangs the small in front of the medium. She compares the two shirts for a good 5 minutes before going with the small “because it’s smaller.”)