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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Pills For Thrills Don’t Work On Tills

    | South Carolina, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Uncategorized

    (A customer comes up to the register angry and acting pretty drunk.)

    Customer: “I bought this purse from you guys, and whenever I go to a store the alarm goes off! You need to fix it!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we’ve removed the sensor when you purchased it. You should be fine. It must be something inside your purse.”

    Customer: “No! It’s the purse! D*** fix it!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you really need to calm down. Our door alarm didn’t go off when you entered the store.”

    Customer: “That’s because it only happens at other stores!”

    Me: “Well, the only other option is to take your purse apart. I don’t think you want to do that. Are you sure you don’t have any prescription drugs or CDs in there? Those can sometimes trigger the alarm.”

    Customer: “I have pills, but they’re not exactly prescription.”

    *awkward silence before the customer realizes what they have said*

    Customer: “F**k you. I’m not going to jail for this!” *storms out*

    Bride Denied

    | Iowa City, IA, USA | Money, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

    (Two women walk in.)

    Me: “Hi how can I help you?”

    Customer: “We’d like to return this dinnerware set. It comes from a registry so here that is also.”

    Me: “Okay. Is there anything wrong with it?”

    Customer: “No, we just decided we didn’t like the bride that much.”

    Heartless & Toothless

    | Wisconsin Rapids, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Religion, Uncategorized

    (I am ringing up an older female customer’s order which includes several name brand toothbrushes. They ring up at $3.50.)

    Customer: “Those toothbrushes should be 99 cents and buy-one-get-one-free!”

    Me: “That price was actually for the store brand ones that were located right under these. The sale tag is displayed right above the item.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want them, then. They were for the homeless at my church, and they don’t need toothbrushes if they cost that much!”

    No Aptitude For Latitude, Part 2

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | Technology, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

    (I am talking to a woman on the phone who needs to call back the next day. She is in Texas).

    Caller: “What time is it there?”

    Me: “Three thirty.”

    Caller: “In the morning?”

    Me: “No, in the afternoon.”

    Caller: “Oh. Of what day?”

    Me: “Saturday. We’re only three hours different from you.”

    Caller: “Really?” *pause* “Is it snowing?”

    Me: “No ma’am, its August. Its nice and sunny out.”

    Caller: “Oh wow!”

    Related:
    Yukon Freeze It
    No Vocation For Location
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 4
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2
    No Fortitude For Longitude
    No Aptitude For Latitude

    I Hear Sea Shells On The Sea Shore

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

    (I work at a small shop that sells sea shells and other beach items. A customer comes in and holds a piece of merchandise to her ear.)

    Customer: “I think I can hear the ocean. I thought they were lying!”

    Me: “Um, ma’am…”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “You’re holding a cup with a seashell painted on it to your ear.”

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