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  • Empty Boxes And Equally Empty Threats

    | Overland Park, KS, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this, but I don’t have a receipt.”

    Me: “Alright, let me see what I can do.”

    (I notice that she’s trying to return an empty display box, something no employee would have sold to her. It’s thus pretty clear that she shoplifted the box and is now trying to scam us.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t return this.”

    Customer: “Why not?! Just because I don’t have my receipt?”

    Me: “Well, this is an empty box. There is nothing in it.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? I bought it like that! How was I supposed to know it was empty?”

    Me: “There is no way you could have bought it like that. None of the employees here would have sold that to you.”

    Customer: “Well, they did sell it to me! You have to give me the money back. This is ridiculous!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, tell you what. Let me see your driver’s license. I’ll make a copy of it and run it through our machine and see if I can give you a refund then.”

    Customer: “Uh…I left my license in my car. I’ll just…uh…go outside and get it.”

    (The customer bolts from the store while leaving the stolen display box on the counter, jumps into her car and speeds off.)

    Byte Off More Than You Can Chew

    , | United Kingdom | Top

    Me: “Good morning, what can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Well, a few of my friends have been talking about this ‘internet’ thing. Is it any good?”

    Me: “Yes, it is very useful. I use it all the time.”

    Customer: “Oh, good.” *pulls something from his pocket*

    Customer: “Could you put it on to this floppy disc for me, please?”

    Me: “The entire Internet?”

    Customer: “Yes, please!”

    Confusing Crosses With Crossbones

    | Tampa, FL, USA |

    (An older customer comes out of the fitting room wearing a black and red striped shirt with designs that look like piles of skulls.)

    Customer: “I just think that this is so cute. What do you think?”

    Me: “That’s a really interesting choice for a blouse.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know. I just think these little flower designs are so pretty!”

    Me: “Ma’am, those are actually skulls.”

    (The customer looks a bit closer at the shirt before finally realizing what she is wearing.)

    Customer: “Oh my Lord, I was planning on wearing this to church!”

    Economic Recession For Dummies

    | Canandaigua, NY, USA |

    (I’m ringing out a customer at my register. He hands me a 10 dollar bill for his total of $5.22, but my hand slips on the decimal button, and the computer reads the cash amount as $522.00.)

    Me: “Whoops, sorry about that sir.”

    (I quickly calculate the correct change and hand it to him.)

    Customer: “Hey, you didn’t give me the right change.”

    Me: “I didn’t? That’s strange, I thought I had it right.”

    Customer: “It says here my change is $516.78, you only gave me $4.78″

    Me:“Oh, right! I accidentally put the decimal in the wrong place. Sorry about that.”

    (I hold out his bag of merchandise for him but he doesn’t budge.)

    Customer: “…Well? Aren’t you going to give me the rest of my change?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not allowed to just give out money.”

    Customer: (Brandishing receipt.) “But it says right here that my change is $516.78!”

    Me: “Sir, it also says that you gave me $522.00…”

    (Customer snatches up his merchandise and leaves.)

    Literally Dog Eared

    | Stockholm, Sweden |

    (A customer hands me really tattered and torn CD.)

    Customer: “I‚Äôd like to exchange this CD for another copy. It doesn‚Äôt play.

    Me: “What on earth have you done with it?”

    Customer: “Well, since there obviously was something wrong with the CD, I gave it to my dog to play with. You‚Äôre just going to return it right, so who cares about what condition it‚Äôs in?”

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