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    The Sun Is A Slacker Abroad

    | Rutland, VT, USA | Technology, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

    Me: “Hi ma’am. Is there anything I can help you find?”

    Customer: “I am looking for a solar powered charger for my cell phone. Do you have anything like that?”

    Me: “Yep, just follow me.”

    Customer: “Also can you tell me which ones can work overseas?”

    Related:
    The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes, Part 2
    The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes

    When The Shoe Is On The Other Foot

    | Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

    (I’m shoe shopping, and I’ve taken off my own shoes to try on some other pairs. Another customer is browsing in the same aisle; she looks at my shoes and starts to try them on.)

    Me: “Excuse me? Those are mine.”

    Customer: “No, they’re not. I saw them first.”

    Me: “No, I mean, I bought them a while ago. See, they don’t have price tags on them.”

    (Ignoring me, she takes off my shoes, and calls over an employee.)

    Customer: “Do you have these in size seven?”

    Employee: “I’ve never seen these before. Do you have the box they were in?”

    Me: “That’s because they’re mine. They’re not from here.”

    Customer: *rolls eyes* “She keeps saying that, but I saw them first.”

    Employee: “Uh, ma’am, she’s right. These are from [another shoe store].”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, can I buy them here?”

    Employee: *gives me back my shoes* “Sorry, no.”

    Customer: “Well, if that’s how you treat your customers here, I’m leaving!”

    (As she walks out, she stops to check out my bag on the floor.)

    Me: “That’s mine, too.”

    Fauxxx Pas

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hi, do you have coitus?”

    Me: *pause* “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Coitus! Do you have coitus?!”

    Me: “Alright, sir, I really hope I’m understanding you wrong, so I need you to say what you want a bit slower.”

    (He thinks for a long time, then slowly says the word, drawing out every letter.)

    Customer: “Curtains?”

    Phoning It In

    | Cardiff, Wales, UK | Bizarre, Technology, Uncategorized

    (A customer phones up 5 minutes before we close, to try and track some products she ordered but haven’t been delivered.)

    Me: “Okay, I’m just going to need to take your contact details, so I can try and trace your order. Can I take your address and your
    phone number?”

    Customer: “I don’t have a phone.”

    Me: “How are we speaking now?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Cheapskating Around The Issue

    | Mississauga, ON, Canada | Holidays, Money, Top

    (The store is very popular around Christmas time. We have a general rule not to do price adjustments, particularly on Christmas gifts as they were always marked down after the holidays. A customer hands me receipt; he has no bags with him.)

    Customer: “I’d like to do a price adjustment for these gifts.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we don’t do price adjustments.”

    Customer: “Well, then I’ll return them and buy them back on sale. So give me back the money for them.”

    Me: “I can’t give you back money for products that you don’t give back to me.”

    Customer: “I’m just going to buy them back for the sale price right away anyways, so just give me the money back!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but without the products I can’t give you any money back or do a price adjustment. If you bring in the products I will gladly return and re-sell them to you.”

    Customer: “I’ve already given them away! They were Christmas gifts for my family, you idiot!”

    Me: “Can you let your family know that you want to take their gifts back so that you can get some money back from them?”

    Customer: “What do I look like to you, some kind of cheapskate?!”

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