July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Store Of The D***ed

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Religion, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how can help you today?”

Customer: “Are you a lesbian!?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’ve got real short hair. I heard that women with short hair are lesbians.”

Me: “So, was there anything I could help you with?”

Customer: “You can answer my question! Are you a lesbian or not?!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t feel it’s appropriate for me to answer that.”

Customer: “I don’t want some hell-bound homosexual near me! God will strike you down for disobeying his word!”

Me: “Okay, okay. If you really must know, no I am not a lesbian.”

Customer: “Then why do you have short hair??”

(By this time, my manager, who is male-to-female transgender, walks over.)

Manager: *in their manly voice* “Is there a problem here, sir?”

Customer: “Oh dear lord! You’re not a woman!”

Manager: “Only on paper, sir.

Customer: *runs out screaming* “This place is d***ed! D***ed I tell you!”

Humor Is Generational

| San Jose, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(A customer of about 85 years old approaches customer service. It is Father’s Day.)

Customer: “Where do you keep your belts?”

Me: “Over in the men’s department.”

Customer: “And where do you keep your grooming sets?”

Me: “In the men’s department as well.”

Customer: “Oh thanks! I’m buying a Father’s day present for my Dad and Grandfather!”

(I tell him he’s welcome and turn back to what I was doing. I noticed a few seconds later he’s still there.)

Me: “Is there something else I can help you with?”

Customer: *grinning widely* “Do you believe me?!”

In(Console)able

| Connecticut, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

(A young little girl walks up to the one of the cashiers.)

Girl: “Do you have any ?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sweetie. We’re all out right now.”

Girl: “Can you go in the back and make one?”

Me: “We can’t make [consoles]. We get shipped the [consoles] to sell.”

(With a sullen look, the little girl walks away and comes back soon after with her mother.)

Mother: “You don’t have any [consoles] currently?”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we do not.”

Mother: “Well, can you go in the back and make one?”

Who Is The Dumbest Of Them All

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Bizarre, Uncategorized

Customer: “Are these mirrors weird?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “These mirrors, are they weird?”

Me: “Not to my knowledge.”

Customer: *looks in mirror* “But that’s not me!”

Playing The Name Game

| Lynnwood, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Uncategorized

(A customer calls in with a question. This is during heavy snow, so traveling to a store is a big deal.)

Customer: “Hi I’m looking for [name of video game], but not [game with very similar name]. I’ve called in everywhere and no one seems to have it.”

Me: “Okay, Let me just look that up for you.”

(I proceed with looking up the game and find out that they stopped making the series and that there wasn’t in fact even a game by the title she wanted.)

Me: “Okay it looks like we have [game with similar name] but they never made [game she wanted].”

Customer: “Oh great! I’ll come right down to pick it up! I can’t believe you have it!”

(The customer hangs up before I can repeat that we didn’t have it and that it doesn’t exist. Later in the day my boss informs me a lady up front wants to talk to me; I dread going to the front to a woman who has driven through to snow to look for a game doesn’t exist.)

Customer: “Hi, [my name]! I just wanted to thank you in person for helping me find [game she wanted]. My son was looking for it everywhere!”

(As she says this, she holds up the game with the similar title.)

Me: “You’re… welcome?”

Son: “Mom! You’ve been calling it the wrong name all day!”

Page 308/463First...306307308309310...Last