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    Can’t Put A Dollar Value On Such Stupidity

    | Centereach, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work in a store that only sells items for $1. There are signs that everything is only $1 all around. This customer came up to me and pointed to one of the products.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, you can most certainly help me. I’m looking around and I don’t see any price tags.”

    Me: “You do know what store this is right?”

    Customer: “Yes, this is [Dollar Store Name] and I’d like to know the name of this product.”

    (I sighed and pointed to the sign that said that everything was a dollar.)

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you just say that?”

    The Big Bang Was Not A One-Time Event

    | Lawton, OK, USA | Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (At the store a customer left their phone behind. Per store policy, we can hold the phone for the customer, but we can’t answer it if it rings, in case the customer then tries to claim that we either broke or tampered with it.)

    Coworker: “You look stressed.”

    Me: “I am!”

    Coworker: “Why?”

    Me: “Because the phone has the ENTIRE theme to The Big Bang Theory as the ringtone. And it won’t… stop… ringing…”

    Should Have Framed It Correctly

    | New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

    (I work in a framing store. I have been at this job only a couple of weeks when this happens – all I knew was basically that we sold frames. I need experience on the phone so I have to start taking calls. A call comes in.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [Company]. You’re speaking with [My Name].”

    Caller: “Oh, hi. I made an Internet order with you and you seem to have sent me the wrong size.”

    (We sometimes do Internet orders for pre-made frames. At this point I’m not super familiar with the sizes we can do.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that; if you pass on the details to me I’ll speak to my manager.”

    Caller: “That’s great. It was the tiger-lily, and you’ve sent me the size eight when I ordered the size ten.”

    Me: “Size eight? Uh… ok, well we may have to look you up in the system to find the details.”

    Caller: ‘Do you have a size ten?”

    Me: *totally confused but in it too deep now and the woman is getting angry* ‘Uh… I’m sure we can fix the problem for you. I’m just going to get my manager to look for your order and give you a call back.”

    (I take her name and details and end the call, thinking my manager can work out what’s happening, because I have no idea. She looks in the system for a customer order with an artwork described as ‘tiger-lily’ but finds nothing. I explain the size issue, but the sizing doesn’t match what we offer. My manager tells me to call the woman back and try to get more information.)

    Caller: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hi there. It’s [My Name] calling back from [Company].”

    Caller: “Oh, hi.”

    (The caller thinks I’m the manager now, having just spoken to me five minutes ago.)

    Caller: “I made an Internet order for the tiger-lily and it’s the wrong size, and I just wanted to return it and get the right one. It’s the tiger-lily.”

    Me: *it’s starting to dawn on me what’s going on* “I’m sorry. Is this for clothing?”

    Caller: *angry now* ‘No! It’s the tiger-lily!! The bikini—”

    Me: “A bikini? We don’t sell those. We sell frames.”

    (Silence.)

    Caller: “Is this phone number [not our phone number]?”

    Me: “No, it’s [our phone number].”

    (Silence.)

    Caller: “I’m sorry I’ve called the wrong number.” *click*

    (Of course, now that I am experienced I would know the error straight away, but I have sadly not received such an entertaining call since that day.)

    Deaf To Reason, Part 5

    | QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Technology

    Manager: “Can you please see that customer; he says he’s having trouble hearing his phone.”

    Me: “Which is it, he can’t hear it or the sound isn’t working?”

    Manager: “I’m not quite sure. Um, also… he’s deaf.”

    Me: “What?”

    Manager: “Please, you’re so good with these customers.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I head over and greet the customer and run a few basic checks on his mobile and immediately see the volume is working as it should.)

    Me: “Well, sir, the volume appears to be working just fine, but you were having trouble hearing it, is that correct?”

    Customer: “Oh, I can hear it just fine now. That’s no problem. But sometimes I like to go for a walk and when I do, I take my hearing aid out. Then I can’t hear it anymore! What do you suggest I do?”

    Me: *dumbfounded* “…uh, I suggest you put your hearing aid back in?”

    (The customer nods and looks at me expectantly, as if I have further advise to dispense.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I really can’t think of any other solution, under the circumstances.”

    Customer: “Oh… well, I suppose that will have to do then!” *walks off looking quite dissatisfied*

    Related:
    Deaf To Reason, Part 4
    Deaf To Reason, Part 3
    Deaf To Reason, Part 2

    More Money Than Sense

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (As I am ringing up a customer, I begin asking her the standard questions that I’m required to ask as a cashier. She is buying a tablet.)

    Me: “Would you like to add on a year of coverage to this in case it gets dropped or stops working?”

    Customer: “No, it’s only $100. If it breaks, I’ll just get a new one.”

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