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    Closing Late Is Such A Rush

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (We’ve had a customer in store for well over two hours. She’s prevented us from finishing jobs because she’s monopolised our time. She’s wanting to buy fabric for curtains for a holiday home.)

    Coworker: “Just letting you know that we are actually closed now. Have you decided what you want yet?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’ll take this fabric, I need 20 metres.”

    Coworker: “Are you sure it’s the one you want? There is no return on fabric. Maybe you should take a sample home to show your husband.”

    Customer: “No, it’s fine. I’ll take it.”

    (I am counting out my register while Coworker measures the fabric.)

    Customer: “I bet you are just waiting to leave, right?”

    Coworker: “Yes, we are, but because we’ve been with you for the last few hours we can’t. We have to finish these jobs before we can leave.”

    Customer: “So you can be thankful to me for getting you overtime.”

    Coworker: “We don’t get overtime. We get paid only until 5:30.”

    (She finally leaves.)

    Coworker: “I am so glad she’s gone. She was such a time waster and I have a bad feeling that she is going to try to return the fabric, because she made me choose it for her.”

    (It’s after seven before we can finally leave. Sure enough a couple of days later she returns with the fabric because her husband doesn’t like it. My coworker refuses to do it but after insistence by the customer refers her to the store manager.)

    Coworker: *to me* “If he returns it, I am going to be so pissed”.

    (He did return it, because the customer told him that she was rushed into the choice by us.)

    The Service Is Second(s) To None

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (My manager is at the door controls to close the roller door into our store.)

    Manager: “[My Name], I need you to call out the time as soon as it hits 5:30.”

    Me: “Okay, it’s 5:30.”

    (Manager shuts the door and comes over to me.)

    Manager: “You are my witness that the door was closed right on 5:30.”

    Me:  ”Yes, according to the company computer, but why? You don’t normally do this.”

    Manager: “I got an official write-up for closing early after a customer complained to head office. Apparently I closed the door 30 seconds too early.”

    Shoplifted And Uplifted

    | Washington, DC, USA | Criminal/Illegal

    (Our store is small, but popular, so my boss schedules me a 12-hour day on Black Friday, with the intention to have me work the floor, but keep an eye out for shoplifters. I see a man take a watch out of a case, put it in his left hand, put his glove over the watch, then his fast food drink cup over that.)

    Me: *to customer I am assisting* “Would you excuse me a moment?” *to shoplifter* “Would you like me to take that watch and hold it behind the counter for you?”

    Shoplifter: “What watch?”

    Me: “The one in your left hand, sir. I can hold it behind the counter while you continue your shopping. If you’ll just give me the watch and your name, I’ll make sure it’s on hold for you.”

    Shoplifter: “I don’t have any watch in my left hand!”

    Me: “Sir, I saw you put your glove and drink cup over the watch. Would you like me to hold it behind the counter for you?”

    (My boss has watched the entire exchange.)

    Boss: “Sir, I can call security if I need to.”

    (The shoplifter takes the cup and glove off the watch, hands it to me, and walks away.)

    Customer: “Wow, that’s the nicest theft prevention I’ve EVER seen!”

    Staring At The Sign For Hours

    | VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (I had recently moved my store to a new location and had not yet advertised the new phone number, when a customer calls with a question.)

    Caller: “Hi, I just wanted to know what times you’re open.”

    Me: “Certainly.”

    (As I tell him which days I’m open and the hours, naturally, I’m curious as to how he got my phone number and ask him about this.)

    Caller: “Oh, I was looking through the window and wrote down the number from the sign on the front door.”

    Me: “You mean at the bottom of the sign listing my business hours?”

    Not Acting Like Adults

    | Tacoma, WA, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working at a popular adult store. It is five minutes before closing. Two girls come in, and they appear to have been drinking.)

    Customer #1: “Are you still open?”

    Me: “Well, we close in about five minutes, but I’d be happy to help you find what you’re looking for.”

    Customer #2: “Oh-em-gee. I want my first vibrator!”

    Me: “Okay. Well, we have a lot of good choices.”

    (I try to show her the products. She proceeds to grab them out of my hands and hit her friend with them. Even though I’m not embarrassed by the products, I find this behavior pretty inappropriate. She is clearly not listening to anything I’m saying.)

    Me: “You know what? It’s getting late, and I really think that you’ll want more time to make your decision. This is the hours we are open, and in fact, I will be here opening in the morning. You will have a lot more time to decide then.”

    Customer #1: “Let’s just go. It’s getting late.”

    Customer #2: “No, I want a vibrator!”

    Customer #1: *pulling her out of the store, to me* “I’m really sorry about this. Have a good night.”

    Coworker: “Man, I know we’re not supposed to kick people out of the store and stay open, but thank you for getting them out of here!”

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