Multiple Call Back Attack

| Grove, OK, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I’m the store manager of a lease-to-own business, so I know who my new employee is speaking with on the phone even though he has no idea. The customer, whom I have had dealings with for over six years, would throw fits and scream and cry while flailing about on the beds in our showroom if she didn’t get what she wanted. Previously she wanted me to force my employees to deliver an item to her that she wouldn’t pay for until she’d tested it out in her own house. I explained that we closed in just a few minutes and that I couldn’t allow that. I wasn’t pleased that she’d called back to try and do business again. My employee couldn’t help her to her satisfaction, so I had him transfer the call to me.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Oh, good. You know who I am. I need you to deliver an [electronic item] to my house.”

Me: “Ma’am, due to you not paying your last balance, I am unable to bring the item to you until that balance is taken care of.”

Caller: “You mean I still have to pay that?”

Me: “It’s policy, ma’am. The balance is much like that of a past due fee on library books or rental movies.”

Caller: “I knew it! You just don’t like me. Fine. I call [Competitor] instead.”

(At this point the false tears and the slurred speech begin and I am unable to understand what she’s babbling, but I won’t let her get to me… regardless of how much I may want to go off.)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

(I hang up and turn to my new employee:)

Employee: “What the heck was that? I could barely understand what she was saying to me.”

Me: “Trust me; you’d be used to it if you had to deal with her. She told me she was going to call—”

(I’m cut off due to the phone ringing. The caller ID shows that it’s the same customer. I (almost gleefully) answer the phone.)

Caller: “Thank goodness. I’m needing an [electronic item] delivered. I just called another place, but they seem to jack up their prices and they lie to all of their customers. They tried to cheat me!”

Me: “Ma’am…. I hope you realize that you’ve called me back. I’m afraid that none of what you’ve just told me was even discussed during our phone conversation. Somehow you’ve dialed the wrong number. Please, call [Competitor’s phone number] instead. Hopefully, they’ll take care of you in whatever way you desire.”

Caller: “…Okay. What was the number again?”

(I gave her the number and hung up. I called the other store and informed them of what had just happened. They told me that they won’t do business with her any longer either, mainly due to her antics and her bothering the other customers with her hysterics. While I was on the phone with the competitor’s store manager… she called them. Luckily, she hasn’t attempted to call back.)

Laptop Flop, Part 7

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

Me: “How can I help?”

Customer: “I need to buy a computer. I don’t want you to sell me insurance or anything else, just the computer.”

Me: “What will you be using it for?”

Customer: “I need to use ‘The Google,’ and some word processing. I’ve been told by my technical friend it needs two ‘tetrabites’ and at least eight ‘jiggabites.'”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “I think you mean terabytes and gigabytes.”

Customer: “Yes, I am well aware of what I need.”

Me: “For the things you are using it for, I don’t think you will need those specifications. You might end up spending a lot of money and not make full advantage of the machine. You could get a cheaper machine and spend more money on attachments.”

Customer: “No, I know what I need; my friend told me.”

Me: *politely* “Is your friend a technician?”

Customer: “No, he’s a decorator.”

Me: “Right.” *shows customer to a computer that matches her specifications, priced £899*

Customer: “That’s too expensive. I was hoping to spend £150 – £200.”

Me: “We have nothing that cheap. The lowest priced and most basic laptops start at £350.”

(The customer walked off, whilst muttering how customer service was terrible.)

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 6
Laptop Flop, Part 5
Laptop Flop, Part 4

Doesn’t Have The Gift(card) Of Foresight, Part 2

| SK, Canada | At The Checkout, Money

(Customer is paying at the checkout at a world-wide chain supermarket.)

Me: “That’ll be $11 please.”

Customer: *digging out pockets of pants, jacket, and purse* “Where the h*** is my card?”

(Five minutes pass; the line starts to build up.)

Customer: “I’m sorry; I’m looking for my gift cards.” *place five cards on the desk*

Me: “It’s okay, take your time.”

Customer: “You can help others first.” *keeps searching for more gift cards*

(I clear the rest of the line in five minutes.)

Customer: “Here, try this one.”

(Hands me a gift card with three-year-old design and at least 10 cards on the desk. I swipe and it get a $0 balance.)

Me: “Sorry, madam, this one didn’t work out. It has a $0 balance.”

Customer: “Okay, then try this one.”

(I kept trying with her other five cards and they all turn out $0.)

Customer: “How the f*** can that be? That’s why I never trust any of these gift cards! Do they expire or what? See, that one’s got a $20 written (hand-written) on top! Get me your manager!”

Me: “Madam, as far as I know they are required by law not to have an expiry date, and I can get you the manager.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

(I explained the situation.)

Manager: “Well, madam, these cards will never expire, they can only be used up, is there any chance that they’ve already been used up?”

Customer: “H*** no! See this f****** writing?! It says $20 and that one got $30 and that—”

Manager: “Well, then, I can help you figure out how much they worth at my till.”

(The manager cancelled her order at my till, and the customer went with manager to check values of her cards. Later, when I talked to the manager, she said all but one of her cards had value, which added up to $25.30. And after double checking with the pin number of each gift card, Manager was able to pull out records of all the gift cards, rendering the customer speechless and walk away shamefully. Oh, yeah, and she still kept all those empty gift cards in her purse mixed altogether with the only charged one.)

Related:
Doesn’t Have The Gift(card) Of Foresight

Your Friendly Neighborhood Customer Service

| NJ, USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(I work in the video games department of a large toy store. We are doing a promotion for one of the Spider-Man movies. They hire an actor who dresses up as Spider-Man and gives out autographs. I snuck an autograph from him in during my lunch break and the actor goes home in the afternoon. After ringing up the last customer, a young boy comes up to the register with his dad. He has a Spider-Man jacket and a t-shirt.)

Dad: “Hey, we’re here to see Spider-Man. Do you know where he is?”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry but he left an hour ago.”

(Immediately the boy looks sad and the dad smiles apologetically to his son.)

Dad: “I’m so sorry, [Son] Maybe we’ll see him next time?”

(By now, the son is about to cry. I see the autograph under my register and quickly come up with a story.)

Me: “Oh, [Son], right? Spider-Man told me all about you! He had a lot of crime to fight today but he told me to give this to you. He’s very proud of you and he wished he could have met his biggest fan in person! I’m really glad I found you!”

(I gave him the autograph and his eyes lit up. They thanked me repeatedly while I rung up their purchase and I watched the boy leave with an extra skip in his step. I never liked working in retail but this was one of my favorites. I was more than happy to brighten his day!)

Es-pwñ-ol, Part 3

| Newark, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Technology

(I’m with my mother buying a pouch and a case for my brothers hand-held gaming system. I go off on my own to find some computer games. Not even five minutes later I return to my mom looking very flustered with an employee. My mother and I are Peruvian. She speaks Spanish and struggles with English.)

Me: *in Spanish* “Ma, are you okay?”

Mom: *in Spanish* “No, I can’t remember the stupid name for this s***. The thing that covers the DS for you brother, what is it?”

Me: *to the employee, in English* “Oh, my mom is looking for a cover for the 3DS. Do you have any?”

Employee: “Yes, I showed your mom the selection right here; these are the ones we have.”

Me: *in Spanish* “Ma, they only have these.”

Mom: *in Spanish* “No, this f****** idiot isn’t understanding me! I want the ones in foam because your brother keeps breaking the plastic ones.”

Employee: *in Spanish* “I’m sorry, ma’am, I know what you want. They’re over here at the next aisle.”

(My mom turned a deep shade of red and mumbled out an apology, saying she was flustered and couldn’t control her temper. I was laughing so hard because I’m always telling my mom that just because she thinks they can’t understand her Spanish and talks s***, doesn’t mean she won’t get caught!)

Related:
Es-pwñ-ol, Part 2
Es-pwñ-ol

Page 3/44512345...Last