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    Their Logic Is Priceless

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a retail store that has deals where if you buy two of certain items, you get both at a discounted price. You cannot buy only one and get it at half the price.)

    Customer: *shows me [Brand] body wash & [Brand] deodorant* “These are the same price and are on for the same ‘buy 2 for $4′ deal. It’ll still go through, right?”

    Me: “We will find out once I scan them in.”

    (I scan each item in individually and no deal shows up. So I ring each item in twice before having to call price check and sure enough, the deal comes off separately PER ITEM.)

    Me: “Sir, it appears the deal is for each item individually. These two cannot be combined.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! They’re the same price and on for the same deal. I should be able to mix and match them!”

    Me: “Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way, unless it’s a deal on the brand. And this time, it’s on the objects. You’d have to buy two deodorants or two body washes to get the deal.”

    Customer: “But that’s ridiculous! THEY’RE THE SAME PRICE ON FOR THE SAME DEAL! Can’t you do anything about that?”

    Me: “Sir, I cannot. The deal is on the items, and not the brand. If you’d like, I can ring you in for two of each and you can pick them up before you leave.”

    Customer: “But if you have a deal on for chips, you can buy one ketchup and one BBQ and still get the deal! Why can’t I do that here?”

    Me: “…because those are both chips. These are not the same item.”

    Customer: “I get that… but they’re the same price!”

    (This went on for a couple more minutes, him using the same logic. He didn’t end up buying the body wash or the deodorant. Moral of the story: you should be able to buy one yoghurt and one dish soap for a discounted price, providing they’re on for the same sale price.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32

    | Sydney, NSW Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I am finalising a sale with a customer. We have store cards for customers, which give discounts and special offers.)

    Me: “Do you have a VIP card?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Would you like one?”

    Customer: “No, thanks.” *swipes credit card*

    Me: “Sorry, but your card has been declined. Do you have another way of paying?”

    Customer: “No. I’ll come back.” *stops for moment* “I think I will sign up for the store card.”

    (I pass the form to her, fill in her details on the computer, and hand her the store discount card. She hands it straight back to me.)

    Customer: “Use this to pay for my things.”

    Me: “What? No, this isn’t a bank card. It’s a discount card.”

    Customer: “I do not understand. You give me card. I pay for things with card.”

    Me: “This is a store card for customers to get discounts and rewards with.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “No, you can’t make payments with this card. Go to your bank about your credit card.”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29

    The Final Cherry On Top

    | Interlochen, MI, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I work at the retail store of an arts camp. Since the campus is about a half hour away from the annual Cherry Festival, we sell a number of cherry products. One of these was a bottle of cherry concentrate. It is about $20 for a 12 oz bottle. Being concentrate, not juice, you don’t drink it by itself. You take about a teaspoon of it and add it to water to make it into juice. Most people, though, think that it is just normal juice and so it doesn’t really sell well.)

    Camper #1: “What is this? Juice? Geez! Why would anyone buy juice for $20?”

    Camper #2: “THAT’S NOT JUICE!”

    Camper #1: “What? Isn’t it?”

    Camper #2: “NO! THAT IS CONCENTRATE! IF YOU DRINK IT BY ITSELF YOU WILL POOP FOREVER!”

    Some Parenting Choices Can’t Be Made Up

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am stocking the make-up aisle in a large drug store. A customer is next to me trying on lipstick at the stand I am filling, with her three-year-old son sat on the floor next to her. I see him take the lid off a tube of foundation and raise it to his mouth.)

    Me: “Miss, you might want to stop your kid before he eats that. It won’t be good for him.”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah.”

    (Without looking away from the mirror she is using to try the lipstick, she pats the boy on the head.)

    Customer: “Don’t do that.”

    (The kid ate the foundation while his oblivious mother continued to test the products, and I moved away before I said something I’d regret.)

    Can’t Keep Count Of The Account

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (This customer is part of a rewards program for the store and calls in immediately yelling with a list of complaints. He eventually says his main concern right now is that he got an email saying his password was being re-sent on the site and he didn’t want it to be.)

    Me: “Okay. Well, I can delete your registration and give you your account number which you can use to create a new registration with the same account, so all your info will still be there.”

    Customer: “I don’t have time for all of this or to go online. Can’t you just fix my password for me and I can hang up while you do it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It is against privacy laws for me to know your password. I cannot do that.”

    Customer: “Then get me someone who can. Do you know how many accounts and passwords I have? If I have to do this all the time how can I live?”

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