November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Has Some Hang-Ups About Your Answer

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

(A customer calls my print shop to ask about pricing on self-inking stamps. I speak with her briefly, and then she accidentally hangs up on me. She had been nothing but friendly and polite while on the phone with me. While waiting for her to call back, other customers enter the print center, so I begin to help them. The phone rings, and a coworker answers. My coworker and the stamp customer have the following exchange.)

Coworker: “Ma’am? I’m sorry about the wait. The lady that was helping you earlier is with a customer. I could give you the stamp pricing and information if you want?”

Customer: *angry* “What?! Can’t you find that girl I was talking to?!”

Coworker: “She’s currently helping another customer. I can place you back on hold if you’d rather wait for her.”

Customer: “NO! What if my phone hangs up again?!  You put that girl on the phone RIGHT NOW!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, she’s helping other people. If you just wanted some information on stamps, I can give you the information you need.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! Your customer service is terrible! I can’t believe you’d make me wait when my phone might hang up again at any minute! Never mind! I’m going to [Other Store]!” *hangs up*

(The coworker and I exchange glances.)

Me: “It’s probably best that you didn’t tell her [Other Store] and ours are the same company.”

These Donuts Are A Little On The Insecty-Side

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(My coworker and I work in the bakery section of a well known retail chain. During certain times of the year fruit flies are a problem in our department. It is store policy for the bakery to remove the self-serve donuts from the case if the fruit flies are too numerous. This exchange happens to my co-worker while I’m on break.)

Customer: *indignant* “There’s a whole bunch of fruit flies in here.”

Coworker: *checks the case* “You’re right. Sorry about that, sir.” *leaves to get cart to load trays on. comes back. starts loading trays*

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Coworker: “Getting rid of the donuts. We’re supposed to pull the donuts when there’s too many fruit flies.”

Customer: “Can’t you spray some poison in there or something? I really want one!”

Injured In The Name Of The Lord

| Muskegon, MI, USA | Health & Body, Religion

(I work at a general store in town. A lot of God-fearing people tend to come in there, especially on Sundays, since we are across the street from a church. We always have to watch our language when we work. We are stocking the shelves, when someone knocks into it, and a large, heavy can of meat falls on the head of one of my fellow employees.)

Employee: *drops the ‘F’ Bomb and falls right to the floor*

(Everyone in the store hears it. I go running to where he is at, and sees that the can has hit him so hard, he is bleeding, and out cold.)

Me: “[Manager], call an ambulance!”

Female Customer: *marches up to me* “EXCUSE me?! Did I hear this young man say a foul word just outside the steps of The House of the Lord?”

Me: *panicking* “Ma’am, please, he needs help—”

Customer: “He NEEDS to ask forgiveness from our Lord and Savior for using the Devil’s language!”

Me: “I will make sure he does when he wakes up, but please—”

(At this point, the Customer goes off about how sinful it was for him to speak to church folk and ‘befouled the ears of the innocent’ with his unholy talk.)

Manager: “Ma’am, please step back. This man is injured.”

Customer: “He is injured because he speaks in wicked tongues!”

Me: *at this point, I am scared and angry* “No, he is injured because a f***ing can fell on this poor bastard’s head! Now PLEASE step the f*** away from him so the medic team here can help him!”

(The woman was mortified, but the manager was understanding that I was upset. She did leave, and filed a complaint with our office. I didn’t get into too much trouble, thankfully. though that woman refuses to enter that ‘den of sin’ store ever again. Also, the employee is all right. He just needed some stitches.)

Makes You Wish You Could Throw In The Towel

| UK | Extra Stupid

(A customer is looking through our branch brochure as she seems to be redesigning her entire bathroom.)

Customer: *points at item in brochure* “That towel holder. What’s that?”

Me: “…”

Me: “It’s a towel holder. It grants wishes in addition to opening a portal to Narnia.”

(This happens with several different items…)

You Can’t Turn A Charlotte Into A Samantha

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Movies & TV

(Although I work in a trendy clothing shop for women, until the day I was hired, I knew so little about fashion I didn’t even know how to wear leggings properly. Since being hired, I have learned to put fashionable outfits together for myself. I am working the dressing room area. A very fashionable mother and daughter come up to me with a huge pile of clothes. I explain to them our corporate policies about the dressing rooms, including that the mother will have to stay outside with me.)

Mother: “Oh, that’s okay, [Daughter], you go in. I’ll stay out here and chat with this lovely young lady.”

(I withhold a grimace, as I’m not very good at making small talk, and am a little intimidated by this woman already due to her clear knowledge of fashion, although she is nothing but positive in our entire encounter. As the daughter goes into the room, her mother yells after her.)

Mother: “We’ll make two piles. Toss it and take it.”

(The woman nudges and winks at me.)

Mother: “You know, like when Samantha cleans out her closet in Sex and the City.”

(I smile, but say nothing to the woman as I don’t feel like telling her that while I am familiar with the show and the premise, I have never actually seen an episode of ‘Sex and the City.’ I am also aware that a popular women’s network on TV, that the mother and I both watch, is showing both of the ‘Sex and the City’ movies that night. The mother, not taking the hint of my silence, begins to talk to me about her plans to watch it with her friends.)

Mother: “We’ve been marathoning the series this past week, getting ready for it. I’m so excited, and I’m making us a whole dinner themed to Sex and the City.”

(I smile and nod, still not saying anything, until, finally the inevitable question is asked and I have no choice but to bite the bullet.)

Mother: “So, what is your favorite episode?”

Me: “Forgive me, ma’am, but I’ve never watched Sex and the City.”

Mother: *gasping like I’ve just confessed to murder* “What? But you’re so young and fashionable!”

Me: “Yes, I am young, and I do know how to dress nicely, but I haven’t seen the show.”

Mother: “Oh, sweetheart! Why not?”

Me: “I’m just not overly into fashion, or fond of the message it sends to women that their whole lives have to revolve around men, sex, and city.”

Mother: “Oh, sweetie, it’s so much more than that.”

Me: “I’m sure it is. I’m just not interested.”

Mother: “Oh, I’m sure you’d like it. Just give it a chance.”

(The mother continues to badger me for the rest of the sale about Sex and the City, trying to convince me to watch it. Finally, just as her daughter finishes up, I agree to watch the movies that night. As I clean up the dressing room, I overhear her and her daughter at the cash register.)

Coworker: “Did you find everything all right today?”

Mother: “Oh, yes! The girl at the dressing room was just wonderful! She was such a delightful Miranda!”

(The mother turns back to me and calls.)

Mother: “Enjoy the movie!”

Me: “Will do!”

(I didn’t watch the movies, and to this day I have yet to watch an episode.)