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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Finally Tagged You

    | Waterbury, CT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    (Our store sells used clothing. An elderly woman and her even older mother come in every Wednesday, which has 50% off a specific tag color. The price tags (which are stapled on) are always hanging off their purchases. We know she is changing them while in the dressing room but can’t prove it.)

    Me: “Hello! Find everything okay?”

    Customer: “Yes. A few of the tags fell off while I was trying them on, though.”

    Me: *noticing one specific outfit, tag barely on* “I’m sorry; this one is not on sale.”

    Customer: “But it’s the sale color!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I priced this myself this morning. You changed the tags.”

    (The customer turned all shades of red and stormed out with her mother. It was a few months before she came back, and all the tags were secure and correct from then on!)

    Interruption Is Its Own Reward

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers

    (One of my biggest pet peeves is when customers are on their phones during checkout. So much so, sometimes I don’t even bother asking for their rewards cards.)

    Customer: *on the phone and as the receipt is printing out* “What about my rewards card?”

    Me: *being passive aggressive, but still being nice* “I’m sorry; I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

    A Pen-chant For Homophobia

    | UK | Bigotry

    (A dapper looking gentleman enters the shop. He’s wearing a tweed jacket and has a posh, English accent.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, can I help at all today?”

    Customer: “Ah, yes, hello. I’m looking for a [Brand] pen. You know, the refillable sort.”

    Me: “Certainly, sir, we only have one pen in that brand but—”

    Customer: *pulling a pen out of his pocket, it’s gold and slim* “You see, my wife bought me this one, but I don’t like it much. It’s too thin, you see? And I don’t care for it in gold. It must be for gays or something.”

    (I’m taken aback but compose myself quickly.)

    Me: “Ah, I see… Well, we have this one. Maybe that will suit you better?”

    (I show him the pen we stock. It’s dark grey and has a chunky barrel.)

    Customer: “Ah! Much better! Thank you ever so. I’ll take it! I suppose I’ll give the other one to the wife.”

    (I sold him the pen and he left, safe in the knowledge that he was now in possession of a pen which was not intended for gays. Or women.)

    A Tribal Clash

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | Crazy Requests

    (Our particular store has 13 different rooms.)

    Customer: “I’m looking for tribal print clothing, but it can’t be made in China.”

    Coworker: “We have tribal print clothing in each of our rooms, and you can tell where they’re made by looking at the tag. Was there a particular color you are looking for so we can narrow down to one or two rooms and go from there?”

    Customer: “I don’t know; I just want to look at all of your tribal print clothes.”

    Coworker: “So you’d like me to take you to each room, find all of the tribal print clothing, and show you which one’s aren’t made in China?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I don’t feel like walking. I’ll stay here while you collect the clothes.”

    (My coworker spent the next two hours going through each room, locating tribal print clothing that wasn’t made in China to show her. She ultimately didn’t buy anything.)

    Addressing The Underlying Problem

    | Surrey, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I have a customer who is trying to return an opened package of undergarments. Like the vast majority of retailers, for hygienic reasons, we have a final-sale policy on all underwear. I explain this to the customer.)

    Customer: “I didn’t know that it was going to be final sale!”

    Me: “That’s our return policy, ma’am. All underwear is final sale, no refunds, returns, or exchanges.”

    Customer: “I’ve never heard or seen that policy anywhere!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we have our policy written on this large sign right above my register, and it’s even printed on your receipt. You were given ample opportunity to read our policy.”

    Customer: “Well, WHY would I WANT to read it?!”

    (While I know that customers not reading signs is nothing new, this was my first time seeing someone show so much indignation over it. I found this to be incredibly annoying.)

    Me: “Because you’re a very intelligent lady who makes informed decisions!”

    (The customer took her underwear and quietly left my store.)

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