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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Always Been A Leg Man

    | Singapore | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “So this table leg, can it fit onto this table?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “And is it easy to fix it?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Customer: “We just have to screw it ourselves yeah?”

    Me: “Yes, just screw yourselves.” *suppressed laughter*

    Of Percents And No Sense

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Money

    (Our customer service areas double as our cashes, so it’s common to ring in one customer only to walk with the next customer to go pick out jeans or other items. One day an older woman comes to my station and looks disappointed.)

    Me: *holding her items* “Hello there, ma’am. Did you find everything you were looking for today?”

    Customer: “No. I wanted to find a coat for my husband but none of the styles here are right for him. He wants a fall jacket not a winter one.”

    Me: “Oh, I see. You’re right, all the jackets that we have out now are made more for winter since it’s October and everyone is looking for winter clothes. But if you’d like, before I ring these in, you can look over at [New Clothing Brand] and see if they have anything? They feature more high-end looks and I’m pretty sure there are some lighter jackets mixed in there.”

    Customer: “Hmm…”

    Me: “Most of the items of that brand are on sale for 30% off right now. I’m not sure if the jackets are on sale but if you want you can see if there’s one you like and I can see if there are any discounts on it?”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Thank you! I’ll go have a look, thank you.”

    (The customer goes over to the section I mention and looks around; a few moments later she comes back with a light jacket.)

    Me: “Oh, it looks like you found one.”

    Customer: “I did. It’s almost exactly what he wants. Thank you for mentioning it.”

    (I take the coat to scan the barcode and notice the sticker on the tag. The sticker is our way of showing clearance items which have been marked down 40%.)

    Me: “It looks like you found one of the clearance jackets, because it’s already been reduced 40%, I can’t take 30% off of it, but 40% is still better than 30%.”

    Customer: “But you said everything was 30% off?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I mentioned that most things were 30% off, but your jacket is already 40% off, so it’s a better deal.”

    Customer: “Well, now, that’s not what you told me. You said it would be 30% off!”

    (The customer continues to argue this back and forth for a while, with me offering to look for one that wasn’t clearance (but more expensive), but the customer refuses and leaves the coat behind. I go on my break soon after, feeling bummed that I wasn’t able to find the woman a gift for her husband. When I come back my coworker pulls me aside.)

    Coworker: “Your lady came back.”

    Me: “The one who wanted the coat? Why?”

    Coworker: “She came and demanded that she get the discount. She said that the signs said 30% off so she was getting it discounted.”

    Me: “But it says ‘unless already reduced…’ and it was already 40% off.”

    Coworker: “I know, but she put up such a fuss that the manager gave it to her. Then she said the manager was a big baby!”

    Me: “So she got a high-end coat for 70% off?”

    Coworker: “Yup.”

    Me: “… Only six more hours to go.”

    Knowledge Of Cows Is A Bit Green

    | Madison, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (A customer is looking around.)

    Me: “Ma’am, can I help you look for something?”

    Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for a green leather couch.”

    Me: “At this time, we have sold all of our green leather couches, but we can order one for you.”

    Customer: “I’m not stupid you know. The leather comes in green!”

    Me: “Ma’am, rawhide color of leather is a tanned beige color. It has to be dyed a specific color then it is processed and installed on a frame.”

    Customer: “Are you saying I’m stupid?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. You’re just not gonna find a green cow anywhere!”

    Suffering From Organic Failure

    | ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a photo lab as well as sales. We often get students from the local college picking up their film and photo paper from us since we give specialty bulk deals to students and teachers. One afternoon, I am working the lab on my own when I spot a customer wandering through the paper aisle. She looks confused and slightly annoyed, so I decide to try and help, as the other salespeople are busy.)

    Me: “Hi, there! Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Where do you keep your organic black and white photo paper?”

    Me: “… I’m sorry, organic photo paper?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “As in… black and white darkroom photo paper that is not chemically treated?”

    (I’m confused by this, as photo paper is always chemically treated. Photos are developed in darkrooms through a chemical reaction process.)

    Customer: “Yes. I would like to find some for my Photo 101 class I’m taking this fall. Should be a hoot! I’m vegan, which is why I ask.”

    Me: *dumbfounded* “Right.”

    Customer: “Also, where do you keep…” *checks list* “… darkroom developer and fixer?”

    Me: “On your right, the big brown bottles. They’ll be labeled.”

    (She walks over and finds them. When she reads the labels, she frowns.)

    Customer: “Wait… These have chemicals. I asked for organic ones!”

    Me: “You want organic photo developer and fixer?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why is that so hard to understand?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think you’re a bit ahead of the curve on that front. But if you can be the first to develop it, I’ll be the first in line to buy.”

    Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes

    | USA | Bigotry, Health & Body

    (I work in a store that sells only plus-sized clothing. There are signs about it throughout the store, and the sizing system is clearly different from other stores. A pair of very skinny girls walk in.)

    Girl #1: “Whoa, look at all the fat people in here.”

    Girl #2: “Dude, shut up.”

    Girl #1: “What? I can outrun them if I have to.”

    (I approach them before Girl #1 causes any trouble.)

    Me: “Hello, ladies. Is there anything in particular I can help you find? Looking for a gift for someone?”

    Girl #1: “Yah, where are your leggings?”

    Me: “They’re right over here on this rack.”

    Girl #1: “What’s this? 1X? 2X?”

    Me: “That’s the plus size sizing system.”

    Girl #1: “Do I LOOK like I’m OBESE?!”

    Me: “I assumed you were in here buying for someone else.”

    Girl #2: “[Girl #1], I told you this is a plus-size store.”

    Girl #1: “So you don’t have a size two?”

    Me: “No. Like your friend said, we only sell plus-sized clothing.”

    Girl #1: “This is discrimination against people who actually CARE about their bodies! You should carry NORMAL clothes too!”

    (Another customer overhears her little outburst.)

    Customer: “You really don’t have to shop here, kid.”

    Girl #1: “Well, maybe I wante—”

    Customer: “I’m sick of hearing that sort of attitude. I go to any other clothing store, and I can’t find anything that’s my size because I’m too big. There are dozens of stores at this mall that sell your size, but only one the sells mine. Guess what, kiddo? I didn’t CHOOSE to be fat! I have a genetic disorder that causes me to gain weight no matter how much I work out.”

    Girl #2: “Come on, let’s just go elsewhere. I’m so sorry for my idiot friend’s behavior.”

    Girl #1: “Why are you standing up for them?”

    Girl #2: “You know I used to weigh twice what I do now. I worked my a** off to lose over 100 pounds. I don’t see why the f*** we even came in here! I told you we wouldn’t find anything! So cut it with the fat discrimination and let’s go elsewhere, you idiot!”

    (Girl #2 came back later to apologize again.)


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