Pint-Sized Profanity Patrol

| Edmonton, Alberta, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

(Two younger teens are hanging out near the specialty store where I work.)

Young Teen #1: “Aw man, these pants are f***ing sweet!”

Young Teen #2: “S***, I know! I love this f***ing store!”

(The swearing and vulgar language keeps up for a while as families enter the store. A lady walks in with her young boy who can’t be older than three or four. He stands near the young teens and listens to their foul language for a while. Suddenly, he marches up to them with his hands in his little pockets, unimpressed.)

Little Boy: “HEY! I’m here! I can hear you! Don’t talk like that!”

Young Teens: *look dumbfounded and leave the store*

From Penny Foolish To Pound Wise

| UK | Money

(I work in a well-known UK pound store. A middle-aged customer and her teenage daughter walk up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me. How much is this?” *holds up item*

Me: “It’s £1; everything here is £1.”

(I smile kindly, nodding towards the 20-foot sign hanging on the wall for all to see.)

Customer: “Oh, wonderful! Thank you very much!”

Me: “No problem!”

(No less than 5 seconds later, she calls to me again.)

Customer: “Oh, excuse me! How much is this?”

Me: “It’s £1. Everything is £1.”

(The customer’s daughter covers her face.)

Customer: “Are you sure dear? Maybe you should check…”

Me: “I don’t need to madam; I know it’s £1. Everything here is.”

(Not believing me, the customer huffs, asks another member of staff, and gets the same answer.)

Customer: “Well, that seems cheap.”

Customer’s Daughter: “For god’s sake, mum, that’s the point! It’s a POUND SHOP! EVERYTHING IS £1!”

Customer: “Well, they should put up a sign and make it more clear!”

(Simultaneously, her daughter, my colleague, and I all point at the giant sign.)

Customer: “That’s not clear! You should make it CLEAR!”

(The customer turns and stomps off.)

Customer’s Daughter: “I’m not taking her anywhere again.”

(Two weeks later, the same customer returns. This time, another customer is asking me a similar question about pricing.)

Another Customer: *to me* “How much is this?”

Customer: *jumps in* “It’s £1! Everything is £1!” *huffs* “Some people are SO stupid!”

They Call Her Cinderhella

| USA | Family & Kids

(I work at a register, and really enjoy interacting with kids that come through my line. I see a 4-year-old girl all dressed in pink.)

Me: “Hey there, pumpkin. How are you today?”

(The little girl crosses her arm, stomps her foot, and starts pouting.)

Little Girl: “I am NOT a pumpkin! I am a PRINCESS! Mommy, you tell her! I AM A PRINCESS!”

Me: “Yes, you certainly are…”

Self-Serving Stupidity Will Not Be Served

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

(I am a customer, standing third in line behind a very well-dressed woman in her 50s—we’ll call her Customer #1. The cashier, in her 70s, has just finished ringing out a young 20-something woman with pink hair. It is about 1 am and I am dead tired, literally swaying on my feet. There are three other customers behind me, which we’ll call Customers #2-#4.)

Cashier: *to Customer #1* “Oh dear, just a moment!”

(With that, the cashier runs off after the pink-haired customer, who has left behind a gift card she just purchased. Angrily, Customer #1 slams a 24-pack of canned drinks on the counter and turns to me.)

Customer #1: “I bet she is going to try to make me put this back in my cart, but I won’t. It’s a little game I like to play called, ‘Who’s Getting Paid for This?’”

(Note: Customer #1 has left a 40-pound bag of cat litter and 20-pound bag of cat food in her cart, both heavier than the drinks.)

Me: *shrugs*

(The cashier returns, panting and out of breath.)

Cashier: “Sorry about that. She left her gift c—”

Customer #1: “I don’t care. Just ring my purchases up!”

Cashier: “Oh, um… right, sorry.”

(The cashier rings the small items through, double-bagging the cans and folding the clothing with care, before using the hand scanner to ring up the drinks, the litter, and the cat food.)

Cashier: “Your total is [price], ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Well, it’s about time. Load my d*** cart so I can get the h*** out this s***hole!”

(The cashier sets the bags in the cart around the litter and cat food, and then looks at the 24-pack of drinks.)

Cashier: “You’ll have to set the pop in the cart, ma’am. I’m sorry, but I can’t lift it.”

Customer #1: “You can’t lift it? What kind of bulls*** is that? Why the h*** not?”

Cashier: “I can’t lift over 10 pounds; doctor’s orders.”

Customer #1: “That is none of my business. Why are you telling me this? Just do your d*** job!”

Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “You asked her why; that is why she’s telling you. Ugh!”

Customer #1: *glares at Customer #2* “Well, this is not acceptable. Get your manager over here now. Maybe he can load my cart since you are too lazy.”

(At this point, I’ve had enough and grab Customer #1’s 24-pack of drinks and set it in her cart.)

Customer #1: “What the f*** are you doing?!”

Me: “Lady, it is 1 am. I am tired and want to go home. I will load the d*** groceries in your car if it gets you out of the way faster!”

Customer #1: “You have no right to touch my groceries!”

Customer #2: “And you have no right to be such a b****. You didn’t have to lift it, she did…” *points at me* “…even though you obviously were able to put it in the cart and on the counter by yourself. You got your change, so get out of the way!”

Customers #3 & #4: *echoes of agreement*

Customer #1: “Well, I never—“

Me: “It is obvious you have ‘never.’ You have NEVER had to work a low paying job with a**hole customers who get enjoyment out of making your life harder. We get it. Now go away!”

(I set my two items on the counter as Customer #1 stomps away to customer service.)

Cashier: *crying silently* “Thank you so much.”

(Customer #2 and I stand away from the register for a few minutes talking after that. Customer #1 has caused enough trouble at this point to be escorted out of the store by the store manager and security. Afterwards, the store manager hugs his cashier and sends her to break so she can calm down. As it turns out, the cashier is his ailing aunt who has been working while getting chemotherapy. She really isn’t supposed to be working at all, but is unable to afford treatment otherwise.)

Store Manager: “There is only so much stupid I can tolerate!”

Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 2

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bigotry

(I’m just over 6 feet tall and female. I regularly get very obnoxious questions/remarks about how tall I am, but this is by far the worst. I’ve just finished helping a customer select some products.)

Me: “If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to ask!”

Customer: “Actually, I do have one question… how tall are you?”

Me: “Just over six feet.”

Customer: “Oh my god. I just feel absolutely terrible for you. Your life must be incredibly difficult.”

Me: “Um… no. I pretty much function just like everybody else.”

Customer: “No way. I thought I had it bad! I’m 5 feet 7 inches and I can’t find a boyfriend because of how tall I am! Do you even date at all? Or are all of the guys half your size?”

Me: “Well… I have dated guys a few inches shorter than me. It doesn’t bother me, though.”

Customer: “That’s just insane. I’ll bet you don’t wear heels either, right? I can’t wear them because I look like a f***ing amazon! You’d probably just look like a freak!”

Me: “Well, I’ve worn heels before. I just prefer not to, because I don’t find them very comfortable.”

Customer: “I’ll bet you don’t! You probably look ridiculous!”

Related:
Taking Stupidity To New Heights

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