Show But Don’t Tell

| North Canton, OH, USA | Rude & Risque

(A female customer, approximately 18 years old, is asking a coworker of mine about our bikinis.)

Customer: “Do you guys, like, carry any bikini bottoms in white?”

Me: “I don’t think we have any. Not a lot of stores stock white bikinis.” *chuckling* “After all, you can see right through white fabric when it gets wet!”

Customer: *completely serious* “Yeah, duh. That’s why I want them!”

Waste Not, Bag Not

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

(In Canada, we charge five cents for each plastic bag used, which goes to environmental fees or charities. Every store except Walmart has charged for bags for 3-4 years now.)

Customer: “You guys charge for bags?! You’re kidding me!”

Me: “Yup, we do.”

Customer: “It’s ridiculous!”

Customer’s Daughter: “But mom, we’re not going to need bags anyway.”

Customer: “I know, but it’s just so greedy! I’m not going to shop at all these stores anymore if you guys keep charging for bags!”

Necessity Is The Daughter Of Incomprehension

| Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids

(A mom and daughter come up to my checkout. As I ring up the items, the mom notices the novelty pens by the register.)

Customer: “How cute! Do you want one, honey?”

Customer’s Daughter: “I don’t need one.”

Customer: “That’s not what I asked. Do you want one? How often does your mom say that?”

Customer’s Daughter: “I don’t need one.”

Customer: “Look, they light up! Which color do you want?”

Customer’s Daughter: “Doesn’t matter. I don’t need a pen.”

Customer: “Choose a color or I’ll choose for you!”

Customer’s Daughter: “Mom, you’re wasting money!”

Customer: *to me* “We’ll take the blue one.”

Even Customers Fall Short

, | Kansas City, Missouri, USA | Family & Kids, Underaged

(I am in a local dollar store/pharmacy. This happened to me when I as ten years old. An elderly looking woman comes up.)

Customer: “Do you work here?”

Me: “Me?”

Customer: “Yes, you.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m still in grade school.”

Customer: *mumbling while walking away* “Lazy employees. Always coming up with excuses!”

Try Adobe HeathenShop

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Religion, Technology, Top

Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me how this converter works?”

Me: “Let me see. It looks like you put your old photo negatives into it and it converts them to digital images.”

Customer: “So, it doesn’t make them Christians?”

Me: “Uh…what? Who?”

Customer: “It says it’s a “converter”. So, does it make the people in the pictures turn from devil worshippers into Christians?”

Me: *stunned* “No…No, it doesn’t do anything like that. It takes old negative strips from film cameras and converts them into digital images.”

Customer: “So, it won’t make them Christian?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “What a useless piece of crap that is, then!”

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