The Customer’s New Clothes

| AZ, USA | Uncategorized

(I overhear a conversation between a customer and his wife as they are browsing around.)

Wife: “So, do you see anything you like?”

Husband: “No, not really.”

Wife: “Nothing? Why not?”

Husband: “Because I don’t wear clothes!”

My Head Megahertz, Part 2

| Kansas, USA | Technology

Customer: “Hi, I would like to buy one of your trigabit hard drives.”

Me: “Did you mean terabyte? We have a few right over here.”

Customer: “No! I want a trigabit hard drive. Don’t tell me you don’t have one!”

Me: “How much are you trying to store on this drive?”

Customer: “Some family photos.”

Me: “Around how many?”

Customer: “Probably around 100. My son is very smart with computers and he said I would need at least a trigabyte!”

Me: “Well, this 500 gigabyte hard drive will have more than enough space.”

Customer: “You are frauds! I am never shopping here again!” *storms out*

Related:
My Head Megahertz

No Vocation For Location, Part 3

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Geography

(I work in a mall on the Las Vegas Strip, so there’s always a lot of people from other countries in the store.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you know where [store] is?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I do not know where that store is. However, if you go outside our store, there’s a directory right there.”

Customer: “No! You do not understand. Where is this store?!”

Me: “I can’t go out there with you to look, but I promise if it’s in the mall, it’s on that map.”

Customer: “I already looked at the map! It just gave me a number! What is this number supposed to tell me!?”

Me: “Well, the number corresponds—”

Customer: “I’M FROM THE UK! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO READ YOUR MAPS!”

Me: “I can maybe ask—”

Customer: *storms out of the store in a rage before I can finish*

Another Customer: “I’m from the UK, and I was able to read your map just fine!”

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 2
No Vocation For Location

Equality Is Worth Fighting For

| USA | Bigotry

(One of my supervisors is an attractive, rather petite girl and fragile-looking, but at heart she’s a big tomboy and much stronger than she looks. She comes into to work one day with her hand bandaged and splinted, and it’s pretty obvious she did it herself. I’m helping a customer in her 40s with art supplies, which is not my area of expertise.)

Customer: *pointing at my supervisor* “What happened to her hand?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. She just started her shift so I haven’t had time to ask her. Is there anything else I can help you find?”

Customer: “Do you think her boyfriend did that to her?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: *to my supervisor* “Oh, honey! What happened to your hand?!”

Supervisor: “Oh, it’s nothing serious. I’ll be fine.”

Customer: “Did your boyfriend do that?”

Supervisor: “No.”

Customer: “How’d it happen?”

Supervisor: *awkward smile* “Umm…well, the short version is a guy hit me in a bar, and I hit him back…but I didn’t brace my wrist correctly.”

Me: “Oh, man, OW! You got a boxer’s fracture?”

Supervisor: “Yeah. I’ll be fine, though. The worst part was having to play piano with this splinted this morning.”

Customer: *horrified* “You didn’t let your boyfriend defend you?!”

Supervisor: *frowning* “I’m not seeing anyone, and even if I was, I was closer.”

Customer: “But you’re a girl!”

Supervisor: *trying to change the subject* “Ma’am, have you found all the art supplies you need today?”

Customer: “REAL GIRLS LET MEN DEFEND THEM!”

Rooted In Anger

| Illinois, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

(Note: My hair is a darker shade of auburn and I am often asked it’s natural, which it is. A seemingly normal woman comes up to the register.)

Me: “Is this all today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Oh, my! Is that your actual hair color?”

Me: “Oh, yes, it is.”

Customer: “It’s not fair! IT MAKES ME WANT TO RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT!”

Page 196/454First...194195196197198...Last