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    Pros And Con(artists)

    | Reno, NV, USA |

    (Note: California has just enacted a new law stating that it is illegal for retailers to ask consumers for their zip code.)

    Me: “And could I get your zip code, please?”

    Customer: “You can’t ask me that! It’s illegal!”

    Me: “Only in the state of California. This is Nevada.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not giving it to you because it’s an invasion of my privacy.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I’m finishing her transaction, and she sees the signup form to receive emails about sales and coupons.)

    Customer: “What’s this?”

    Me: “This is a form to receive emails about coupons, sales, and special offers.”

    Customer: “Oh! Okay, I’d like to sign up!”

    (She starts filling out the form.)

    Me: “I just need to ask you for your zip code.”

    Customer: “Okay!”

    Beauty Is Only Emotion Deep

    | Westminster, MD, USA |

    (It’s my first day at work and I’m bagging for a coworker. An elderly man comes up to the register and blatantly stares at me.)

    Customer: “You’re beautiful.”

    Me: “Well, thank you!”

    Customer: “But you have a mean look on your face.”

    (I have no idea what he’s talking about. I’ve been doing nothing but smiling the entire time.)

    Me: “I’m, sorry?”

    Customer: “It’s okay. You have a beautiful face and a beautiful soul…and a beautiful aura. A very, very beautiful aura.”

    Me: “Er, thank you?”

    Customer: “But you just look so mean! Why can’t you look happy, beautiful?”

    (This goes on for another few minutes before my coworker steps in to save me. I can’t wait to work tomorrow.)

    Attack Of The Heart(less)

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Health & Body, Top

    (A customer has just had a heart attack, and our staff is giving her CPR. Another customer approaches.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but could you move? I need the ink behind you guys.”

    Me: “Sir, this lady is suffering a medical illness. I’m sorry for your inconvenience, but you will have to wait.”

    Customer: “How dare you treat your customers like this?! I’ll never shop here again!”

    Manager: *fed up* “[Competitor] is across the parking lot. Have a nice day.”

    I’m Having My iPeriod

    , | New Zealand |

    Customer: “Hi there, darling. Uh, I was wondering, do you have any pads?”

    Me: “Do you mean iPads?”

    Customer: “Yeah pads, iPads, whatever. Can you show me where they are?”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am. Are you interested in the iPad or the iPad 2?”

    Customer: “Wait…so, like, you use the iPad at day and the iPad 2 at night?”

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 4

    , | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    (I am shopping at a store I used to work at and am approached by several customers before I realize I am wearing the same blue/khaki colors as in their uniform. I am trying to find something when I am approached by an angry lady.)

    Customer: “The TV you sold me isn’t working!”

    Me: “I don’t work–”

    Customer: “You have no idea what you’re talking about and sold me a horrible TV. I demand to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Fine, go find him.”

    Customer: “Really? Is that how you’re going to handle this? Fine, I will!”

    (I go back to shopping but watch her walk around to find my former manager. She returns with him in tow.)

    Customer: “He’s the one that sold me the broken TV last week, and now he’s being rude. You need to do something about him.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, he hasn’t worked here in almost a year. He–”

    Customer: “I want him fired.”

    Manager: “Uh, okay, you’re fired.”

    Me: “Cool, see you later, man.”

    Customer: *smug, evil look*

    Me: *goes back to shopping*

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 3
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 2
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here

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