Inde-fence-ible Behavior

| New Hampshire, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Top

(I am a customer at an outlet shoe store in the White Mountains region of New Hampshire. We often get French Canadians who come to New Hampshire for vacations and buy things here to avoid the high taxes they pay in Canada. Most of them speak perfectly fine English but some of them, particularly some of the older people can have some trouble. I speak French fluently, so I’m helping an elderly couple who is having trouble translating the sales signs.)

Me: *in French* “It says that if you buy one pair of shoes, you get the second pair half off.”

Elderly Customer: *in French* “Thank you. My English in not good, and some things just don’t translate well—”

Other Customer: “Don’t do that!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Other Customer: “Don’t pander to them! If they want to live in this country, they should learn to speak English!”

Me: “I think they are just visiting.”

Other Customer: “Bulls***! Once they get into our country, they never leave! That’s why we need a fence.” *turns to the elderly couple* “Go back to Mexico!”

Me: “They’re Canadian.”

Other Customer: “Don’t lie to me. I heard you speaking Spanish!”

Me: “That was French. Canada is a bilingual. Plenty of people in Canada speak French as their first language.”

Other Customer: “We need a fence!”

Me: “They are from Canada!”

Other Customer: “We need TWO fences!”

Let Me Google That For You

| Missouri, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thanks for calling [store]! How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering when the new season of this TV show is supposed to come out.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our system doesn’t allow us to research release dates. I could only tell you if it was being released this month.”

Customer: “Well, could I find out on your website?”

Me: “Well, your best bet would just be to Google it.”

Customer: “Umm… so what should I Google?”

Me: “The name of the TV show, the season, and the words ‘release date.'”

Customer: “Oh my God, thank you! I never would have thought of doing that! I’ll go look it up now. Bye!”

Always Handle Grown Ups With Kid Gloves, Part 2

| Canada | Extra Stupid

(I work as a cashier at a hardware store. A customer has had a problem-less transaction and is beginning to ring through purchase. She pauses after a few moments.)

Customer: “It says my card is rejected.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “What do I do?”

Me: “What does the screen say?”

Customer: “It says ‘Take Card Out. Press OK. Try again.'”

Me: “Okay, so follow the screen.”

Customer: “So, what do I do?”

Me: “Take your card out.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Press ‘OK.'”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “…and try again.”

Customer: “Well, no need to explain it like I’m a five year old!”

Related:
Always Handle Grown Ups With Kid Gloves

Close Cousins Of The Fashion Police

| Dallas, TX, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I’m working as a cashier at a local mall.)

Me: “Okay, sir. Your total today is [price].”

Customer: “Can I get my 20% discount?”

Me: *confused* “20% discount?”

Customer: “Yeah, I always get 20% off of my purchases.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can only make an adjustment if the item is on sale or if you have a coupon. We don’t have a standing 20% off discount.”

Customer: “But I ALWAYS get a discount.”

Me: “Umm… I’m sorry, but I haven’t heard of this discount and I can’t make an adjustment. I can get my manager and see if she can—”

Customer: “What’s your name?”

Me: “[name].”

Customer: “Well, [name], I want you to know that I’m reporting you to the sales police! Consider yourself warned!” *stalks out of the store*

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

| Canada | Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am the only female working in the parts department in our store. Note: at my previous job, I was involved in a violent fight against a male coworker who tried to assault me. They guy ended up at the hospital and no charges were pressed against me since I acted in self-defense. This story is well known by my current coworkers and my boss and I’m teased mercilessly about being a “man-beater.” This particular day, I’m training a new guy to work on the floor and I’m also acting as the shift supervisor since the department manager is off.)

Customer: *to my coworker* “I need to find this.” *shows a trailer connector*

Coworker: “It’s my first week here and I’m not sure if we carry this. However, let me ask my coworker here; she’ll tell me if we have some.”

Customer: “Her? How can she know something about trailers? She’s a girl. Girls don’t know s*** about trailers!”

Coworker: “Let me assure you, sir, she is the most knowledgeable employee we have here.”

Customer: “Well, if she think she can do a man’s job, let’s ask her.”

(I take a look at his connector.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we do not carry this kind of connector. I could order some, but it will take over two weeks before they come in. May I suggest you go over [trailer store] or [another trailer store]? Both are down the road. They are more specialized than us, and they’ll probably have one in stock.”

Customer: *to my coworker* “I told you she’ll be useless.”

Coworker: “Sir, I don’t know what she can tell you more. We don’t keep that kind of stuff in stock, and she suggested two other other store where they sell those kind of products. I think you’ve gotten all the help you need.”

Customer: *suddenly starts screaming* “Why do you refuse to serve me?! I AM A MAN! I AM A CUSTOMER! I deserve RESPECT and OBEDIENCE! Now you will tell me where the f*** you keep those f***ing connectors!”

Me: “Sir, I already told you; we do not carry them. Those other stores will happily sell one to you, but I can’t because I don’t have any on hand.”

Customer: “You useless b****! Find me a manager with something between his legs so we can discuss man things between men!”

Me: “I am the shift supervisor today, so you’ll have to deal with me. I’ll need you to remain polite or you’ll have to leave.”

Customer: “Well, I will just stay behind you and get on your nerves! You’ll crack and resign from your job and find yourself a man that will teach you what is it to be a good woman! You’ll find a guy who will beat you into a submissive b****, like any good woman should be!”

(I send my coworker, who is on the verge of tears, to call the store manager so we can remove the customer from the store.)

Me: “Okay, sir, the store manager is on his way. I need to ask you to leave the property.”

(At this point my coworker returns, saying the store manager has called the police and is coming as fast as he can. Meanwhile, the customer starts acting very aggressively toward me; he tries to push me and effectively prevents me from going anywhere. He then turns his attention on my coworker, who doesn’t want to leave me alone with this freak. I’m really fearing for our safety, so I drop down and catch the longest, heaviest draw bar I can find. I smile at my coworker and put on the best “death stare” I can do towards the customer.)

Customer: *suddenly scared* “…What are you doing? Stop that! You’re scaring me, b****!”

Me: *grinning but saying nothing*

Customer: “What are you doing with the bar? Put it down! I am a man… I am the customer… I demand obedience and respect!” *to my coworker* “What the f*** is she doing?! Tell her to stop looking at me like that. She gives me the creeps!”

Coworker: “I don’t know sir, but around here, she’s known as a ‘man-beater.’ That’s because she sent a man to the hospital… a man that was trying to assault her at her previous job.”

Customer: “How could they let a crazy woman like this work in a store and deal with customers?!”

Coworker: “Well, she’s pretty handy for customers like you.”

Customer: *very frightened* “Um, I’ll just go now, okay? I’ll go to those other stores and see if they have any in stock.”

(As the customer turns around and starts walking out, he walks directly into the store manager, who is a very tall and broad-shouldered guy.)

Customer: *to store manager* “Your employees are crazy! Women shouldn’t beat men! It’s the other way around! You should break her and make her obedient and submissive, like any good woman!”

Store Manager: “Get out of my store now, or I’ll lock you in my office with her!”

(The customer starts heading towards the exit, but runs straight into two police officers who have just arrived.)

Customer: *to the police officers* “You gotta protect me! She’s crazy! She’s a man-beater!”

Police Officer #1: *sarcastically* “Get into our car. You’ll be safe there.”

(The customer was arrested then and there, which was a good thing: it turned out he was wanted for multiple cases of domestic violence. After his arrest, several ex-girlfriends came out and testified against him, putting him away for good.)

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