It’s Not Personal ‘Til It’s Personal

| Newfoundland, Canada | Uncategorized

(My coworker and I are standing in my department talking. An older lady comes up to my coworker.)

Customer: “Where can I find pants?”

Coworker: “I’m not sure, as I’m just a cashier. However my coworker works in this department, so she can help you.” *motions to me*

Customer: “So you don’t know?”

Coworker: “No, I only work on cash.”

Customer: “So, there’s no one that can help me?”

Coworker: “This girl can help you.” *motions to me again* “She’s worked in this department a long time.”

Customer: “I want you to help me!”

Coworker: “Like I said, I work on cash. She works in this department, so she can help you.”

Customer: “I don’t want HER to help me.”

Coworker: “Well, she’s the only one working in this department today.”

Customer: “I guess no one can help me, then!” *storms off*

Scam Wars: Attack Of The Clones

| Nottingham, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

Customer: “I want a refund on this DVD.”

Me: “Okay, what was wrong with it?”

Customer: “I watched it and I didn’t like it.”

Me: “Er, I’m sorry, but we don’t rent out DVDs here; we sell them. If there’s nothing wrong with it, I can’t give you a refund.”

Customer: “But I already copied this one, so I don’t need it anymore!”

(Realizing what he’s just said, the customer tries to backtrack.)

Customer: “Er…wait. I mean…”

Me: *raised eyebrow*

Customer: “Never mind!” *runs out of the store*

Customer Time Vs. Normal Time

| Columbus, OH, USA | Uncategorized

(We close at 10 PM. 10 minutes to closing, I am near the entrance folding clothes when a middle-aged customer walks up.)

Customer: “What time y’all close?”

Me: “We close at 10:00.”

Customer: *looks at the clock, which says 9:50 pm* “Oh, good! That means I have a half hour!”

Whine Isn’t Gonna Get You Your Wine

| Enniskillen, Northern Ireland, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

(I look young for my age and see no point in getting aggressive when asked for ID. However, the picture is old and has been refused before, so I try to get by without it. Alcohol is generally cheaper in Northern Ireland and I’m originally from a border town. This happens on a trip “up North” with friends from “the South”, AKA the Republic of Ireland.)

Cashier: *before scanning a bottle of wine in my basket* “Have you any ID?”

Me: “It’s out in the car somewhere, but I am 23.”

My Friend: “I can vouch for her. She is of age.”

Cashier: “Sorry, but I can’t let her without seeing ID. It’s store policy.”

My Friend: “Okay, then, I’ll pay for it.”

Cashier: “Can’t do that either. I’m sorry, but I’m just doing my job.”

Me: “It’s fine, really. It happens all the time. I’ll just get the groceries.”

Cashier: “I’m really sorry. Just we get a lot of young ones in trying to buy drinks.”

Me: “I know. I’m from [town just over the border]. We used to come up here all the time when we were younger.”

Cashier: “I feel terrible. Most people get angry, but you’re being so nice!”

Me: “It happens all the time; don’t worry! There’s no point getting angry; it’s your job to ask.”

(I go out to the car, get my passport, and make sure to go back through her lane.)

Me: “Back again! The picture’s old, but it is me, I promise!”

Cashier: *checks picture and DOB* “I’ll tell you now, when you’re my age, you’ll appreciate being asked! Thanks a million! It’s great to not be shouted at for once!”

The Life Of The Used And Abused

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Awesome Customers

(A customer comes up to me with an item wrapped in bubble wrap.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this, please.”

(The customer hands me the item with no receipt and it’s obviously an item from Christmas. The candle in it has been lit and used and the item is missing part of the tag. I look up the item and find out it’s from Christmas of last year.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot return this item.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “This item is from Christmas of last year and our return policy is 30 days with your receipt. This is well over 30 days and is a holiday item. We do not accept refunds on holiday items.”

Customer: “Well, that isn’t my fault. This thing is hideous and I don’t want it anymore.”

Me: “I understand that, sir, but there isn’t anything I can do.”

Customer: getting agitated* “Well you HAVE to take it back. I don’t want it. You guys sell ugly things.”

(At this point, my manager comes over to deal with the increasingly agitated customer.)

Manager: “Sir, is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yes! This girl is telling me she won’t take back my item! It’s ugly! I don’t want it! [Competitor] has a policy that they will take back anything anytime! You have to do that too!”

Manager: “Sir, I am sorry but this item is too old and it’s used. We can’t return it. That is our policy.”

(This goes back a forth a few times. The customer keeps saying how our competitors policy would allow it. However, we are not affiliated with them, so obviously our policy is different. Finally, the customer gives up and grabs his item from me.)

Customer: “[Competitor] would have taken it!”

(The customer storms out and another customer comes up to my manager.)

Customer #2: “Want me to kick his a** for you all the way to [competitor]?”

Manager: *laughs* “Be my guest!”

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