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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    All Judgments Are Final

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre, Holidays

    (It’s after Halloween, so we’re having a clearance sale on Halloween decorations. A customer outside walks by the storefront window, sees the decorations, and stomps right through the entrance to me.)

    Customer: “YOU! Can you explain this?” *points back to the decorations*

    Me: “The Halloween decorations?”

    Customer: “Don’t act dumb! Why are they still here!?”

    Me: “Well, Halloween was just last week, so we still have some decorations left over. They’re on sale for 50% off.”

    Customer: “How DARE you sell those devil items in the store!!”

    (Note: these “devil” items were plastic bags of fake spider webs, smiling cutesy ghosts ornaments, Halloween window stickers and bat-shaped confetti.)

    Me: “Um, ma’am? No offense, but we always sell those during Halloween.”

    Customer: “I KNOW. I just want to know why on earth you would try to sell those AFTER Halloween!”

    Me: “Well, since they’re still in stock we’re having a clearance sale and are trying to get rid of—”

    Customer: “Do you worship the devil?”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Only a devil worshiper would do such a thing! Your establishment is based on Satanism! You’re going to burn!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t appreciate—”

    Customer: “Everything you touch is d***ed!”

    (Fed up and frustrated with her offensiveness, I talk back.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I guess that means you’re d***ed too, since you’ve deliberately walked onto tainted soil.” *points down to where she’s standing*

    (The customer’s eyes bulge out as she looks at her feet and then back at me. Then, without warning, she frantically SPRINTS OUT OF THE STORE, pushing my manager out of the way and almost knocking him down.)

    Manager: “What the f*** was that about?!”

    Disrespect Can Be Infectious

    | Michigan, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Top

    (A customer approaches my register and drops her items on the counter in two separate piles without acknowledging me or diverting attention from her cellphone. There is a line forming as there is only one cash register. Note: I work part-time here; my other job is at a pharmacy.)

    Me: “Did you find everything all right today?”

    Customer: *to her phone* “So, I went to the doctor and he prescribed me zithromyacin…”

    Me: “Okay, were you going with all of these today or is this pile here to go back?”

    Customer: *to her phone* “Well, I didn’t want to spend money on another prescription, so I just took some Diflucan I had at home.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to know what you plan to purchase before I can ring you up.”

    Customer: *to her phone* “That should be okay, right? I mean, I don’t even know what Diflucan is, but I figured it was stupid to spend more money on pills.”

    Me: “So, should I go ahead and ring these?

    Customer: *to her phone* “I mean, what is Diflucan anyway?”

    Me: *a bit loudly* “DIFLUCAN is most frequently prescribed for YEAST INFECTIONS. Were you ready to check out or would you like to step into a more private area to finish your call?”

    Customer: “Okay, these are the items what I wanted to purchase!” *pays and quickly leaves, embarrassed*

    Rated I For Immature

    | Poughkeepsie, NY, USA | Uncategorized

    (I’m working the Black Friday shift from 11:30 PM to 8:15 AM. A customer hands me Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3. It has an M rating, so I ask to see her ID.)

    Customer: “What, I don’t look 17?”

    Me: “It’s not that, ma’am. I can’t continue ringing you out until I have a valid ID to scan. It’s the law.”

    Customer: “Oh my God! Can’t you just say I have the ID?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I need to scan it. I can’t get past this screen until I do.”

    Customer: “Well, figure it out! My ID is in my wallet, which is out in the car. I’m not going back out to get it!”

    (I try a few other methods, but it still won’t let me get past the screen. I explain this to the customer. She’s made such a ruckus that other customers are starting to take notice.)

    Customer: “Then take it off! I don’t want to buy it! This is f***ing ridiculous. I want to talk to your manager!”

    (I call my manager over.)

    Manager: “She’s following what she was trained for, ma’am. I can overwrite the screen, but please don’t harass our employees for doing their job. It makes HER look like the mature adult here. And, next time, remember your wallet and ID, so you don’t look like the dumb one at the register!”

    Customer: *huffs, pays for her things, and walks out*

    The Panties Of Yeast Resistance

    | Washington, USA | Rude & Risque, Top

    (I am the lead in the lingerie department. After watching me for 15 minutes, a middle-aged man approaches me as I’m folding underwear. Note that this customer has bothered other female workers and is clearly a panty fetishist.)

    Customer: “So, I’m buying some panties for my teenage daughter. Are these something that she would like?” *hands me a satin thong*

    Me: “It depends on your daughter, but the pattern on them is nice.”

    Customer: “But, will she like them? You’re about the same age. Do you wear panties like these? You said that they were nice. Do you own a pair of these panties?”

    (I’ve worked in lingerie for awhile now and know what this customer is up to.)

    Me: “Oh no, sir. Thongs are very bad for vaginal health. They help bacteria move from the anus to the vulva area and can cause urinary tract infections. Plus, cotton underwear really are the best, as satin doesn’t breathe properly and can lead to yeast infections.”

    Customer: *stunned silence, turning red*

    Me: *leads him to the “granny panty” section* “Really, these would be the best for your daughter. They’re the only underwear that I’ll wear! It’s best for her vaginal health. This four-pack is very economical. Is there anything else I can help you with?

    Customer: *drops satin underwear and walks away very fast*

    Me: “Have a great day!”

    (My manager saw the exchange and gave me a high-five. The customer still bought underwear from us, but he never bothered another female worker again!)

    A Rude A-Blabbering

    | Massachusetts, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I’m ringing out a customer who is blabbing away on their cellphone.)

    Me: “Your total is $13.47.”

    Customer: *throws her card on the counter and continues blabbing*

    Me: “Will that be debit or credit?”

    Customer: *no answer*

    Me: “Will that be debit or credit?”

    Customer: *no answer*

    Me: “Will that be debit or credit?”

    Customer: *no answer*

    (I put the card back in front of her and wait. Eventually, she realizes I’ve stopped and speaks to me.)

    Customer: “What’s the problem?”

    Me: “I was trying to ask if you you would like debit or credit, but you wouldn’t give me an answer.”

    Customer: “That’s probably because I’m on the phone having a conversation! God! Debit!”

    Me: “Okay, please enter your PIN number and hit the green button when you’re done.”

    Customer: *ignores me and starts blabbing away on her phone again*

    (I ask for her PIN a few more times, but after about 30 seconds the credit card machine automatically cancels the transaction since no PIN number has been entered.)

    Customer: “Now what’s the problem?”

    Me: “I asked you to enter your PIN number a few times, but the machine timed out. I’m going to need to swipe your card again.”

    Customer: *throws the card at me*

    Me: “Okay, please enter your PIN number and hit the green button when you’re done.”

    (Once again, she isn’t paying attention. The machine times out. I put the card back on the counter in front of her and ask the next customer behind her if they are ready to be cashed out. The next customer approaches the counter and places her items down.)

    Customer: “UMM, EXCUSE ME?! YOU’RE WAITING ON ME! ”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I’ve been trying to wait on you for several minutes but until you finish your phone call, I will not be able to complete your transaction.”

    Customer: *to her cellphone* “Can you believe this? I’m being refused service because Im on my phone. This is bulls***!” *to me* “YOU ARE EXTREMELY RUDE!”

    (Fed up, the next customer speaks up on my behalf.)

    Next Customer: “YOU’RE calling the cashier rude? You’re the one who has been holding up the line. The poor girl was trying to get you to enter your PIN for 5 minutes while you blurted out your personal business in front of a bunch of strangers. You need to learn some manners!”

    Customer: *blushes and walks out of the store without her items*

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